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Rosana Hernandez
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There Are Some Things You Just Can’t Argue With
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Reaction GIFs Up In This Beeeyotch!
When your young cousin asks you if you have ever heard of a game called ‘Pokémon’ and you have all the gym badges from every single game
When somebody holds the door for me but I’m kinda far away
The first time without a condom
When I’m lying in bed and I hear my trash can get blown over
When the second wipe is far dirtier than the first
Walking through TSA pre-check as I pass everyone in the standard line
When I’m at someone’s house and find out they don’t believe people should use soap
When the wife takes too long shopping at the beauty aisle
When my brother hands me the controller to help him past a level he’s hopelessly stuck on
When I see my friends laughing without me
Me hitting the last beer pong cup at my newphews 5th birthday party
Nobody:
My brothers growing up:
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The Daily Man-Up: How to Break Free From The “Nice Guy” Stereotype
(photo: @kellysikkema)
You’ve probably heard the phrase “Nice guys finish last” and perhaps you’ve experienced it as you watch pushy, inconsiderate guys get the job you want or get the romantic attention of someone you’ve been pining for. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but when you’re so nice to everyone that you stop being nice to yourself, your efforts can backfire. Here are some ways to show people that you value yourself and that they should value you, too.
1. Know the signs of being a “Nice Guy”.
- They believe that if they are good, giving, and caring, that they will get happiness, love and fulfillment in return.
- They offer to do things for a girl they hardly know that they wouldn’t normally do for just anybody else they know.
- They avoid conflict by withholding their opinions or even become agreeable with her when they don’t actually agree.
- They try to fix and take care of her problems, they are drawn to trying to help.
- They seek approval from others.
- They try to hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.
- They are always looking for the “right” way to do things.
- They tend to analyze rather than feel.
- They have difficulty making their needs a priority.
- They are often emotionally dependent on their partner.
2. Stop agreeing with everyone and everything.
That doesn’t mean that you should disagree or argue for its own sake, but you’re your own person with your own opinions and preferences. If you find yourself agreeing with everyone, you might be undercutting your individuality. Think for yourself and speak up. Not every disagreement is an argument, and a difference of opinion can sometimes lead to interesting discussion in which you learn a great deal about how a person thinks and how they feel about a lot of things.
3. Stop being a people pleaser
Don’t bend over backwards to accommodate everyone except yourself. If you identify with the “nice guy” dilemma, you’re probably a kind person who loves to help people, and that’s wonderful. But don’t be so humble that you become a slave to everyone else’s needs and expectations. It’s healthy to have your own needs and goals, and to fulfill them and help others at the same time, without putting someone else’s priorities way above yours. Avoid “parasitic” relationships where you give, give, give and never get. Strive to form mutually beneficial relationships.
- Learn to say no. When people ask you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing, for whatever reason, you have every right to decline. If you find yourself saying yes without considering your time or desire to help, get in the habit of saying, “Let me check my schedule and get back with you.” This will give you a chance to reflect on your availability and rehearse how you will tell them “no”. There are manipulative people in the world who will make you feel guilty (in a very subtle way). Learn how to recognize a controlling or manipulative relationship and break the pattern.
- Use nonviolent communication to convey your discomfort, concerns or needs. Some people are taught that it’s not nice to say anything negative, but the fact is that there are conflicts in life and they need to be addressed in order to be resolved so we can have healthy, balanced and happy relationships. By learning gentle communication skills, such as giving a feedback sandwich, you’ll feel much better about discussing topics that you would normally avoid.
4. Draw the line
Don’t allow people to disrespect or ignore you. Stand up for yourself. If a co-worker steals your idea and passes it off as his own, you’re not being nice by letting it slide. You’re being cowardly. If your date doesn’t show up, and doesn’t even bother to call beforehand or afterwards to explain, you’re not being nice by overlooking a lack of consideration. You’re being a doormat.
5. Pace yourself
Be patient with yourself and with others. At work, this means not biting off more than you can chew. In dating, it means not getting too attached too quickly. Don’t give someone everything they want, all at once, and expect nothing in return. Every relationship is a two-way street.
- At work, do you regularly stay late without being asked? Do you volunteer to help more than others, or pick up the slack for your co-workers? By doing this, you’re communicating to your boss and co-workers that your time is not valuable; you give it away frequently and without being asked, and you never indicate that there’s anything else you’d like to do with your time, and they might even be convinced that you enjoy staying late and working extra hard. To bring some balance back into the situation, there are a few things you can do:
- If your boss is giving you all the extra work because you do a better job than your co-workers, then ask for a raise or promotion.
- Ask your boss about hiring another staff person, or rotating who stays late until the work load subsides. Ask your boss how long he or she estimates the late nights will be necessary.
- There are plenty of people out there that rather than do the assignment themselves they will pass it on to you, or even volunteer you to take over a particular project, without even asking you if you’re busy or not. Don’t accept it. Tell them you need to review your workload first. Also let that person know that they should have been considerate to ask you before hand. If you do get dumped on (and you accept) then by all means don’t take on the whole project by yourself. You would be setting yourself up for failure or worse. If you do a great job then it’ll be your assignment for all eternity. Ask for an assistant or two. That way down the road you can come up with your own excuse to back out and leave it in their hands.
- When dating, don’t shower a romantic interest with flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, expensive dinners, a cruise, etc. in the very beginning. You’re in the courtship phase and might feel like you need to show how worthy you are, but this person needs to show worthiness of being your mate as well. Does this person meet your standards? Save the bulk of your affection and gifts for someone who already supports you and shows appreciation.
- Wait for a love-interest to reach out to you once in a while. How could you really be certain that this person wants to spend time with you, if you’re always the one calling and suggesting it?
- Continue spending time with your friends and pursuing your interests even when you’re dating. Don’t allow a romantic prospect to consume your life.
6. Remember that you don’t need anyone to be happy
Once you feel you “need” something, as in you want it so badly that you’d do almost anything to get it, and it’s something that only someone else can give to you (i.e. someone else’s approval, regard, or affection) you essentially put your happiness completely in someone else’s control. In other words, you give that person all the power, making yourself appear weak and “needy”. Instead, base your self-worth on your own actions and efforts, rather than on how others perceive you. Rejection and criticism is difficult to deal with, but sometimes it’s undeserved. Don’t spend your whole life trying to avoid people thinking negatively of you. Do what you feel is right, no matter what anyone else thinks. All you need to be happy, ultimately, is self-respect.
7. Continue being nice
The niceness isn’t what gets the stereotypical nice guy into trouble. You can be a gentleman without being a pushover. You can be sweet without being suffocating. You can be humble without being self-deprecating. It’s all about finding a good balance. Surround yourself with nice people who will consider you as much as you consider them, and do your best to teach others how they can be nice to you and in general.
Required Reading For Every Nice Guy
“No More Mr. Nice Guy is the definitive book for helping men overcome their chronic tendencies to accommodate, acquiesce, and appease their way through life. Dr. Glover knows how to speak to guys, bringing straightforward, funny, audacious, and highly-practical wisdom that teaches them step by step how to be the man they always wanted to be.”
The post The Daily Man-Up: How to Break Free From The “Nice Guy” Stereotype appeared first on Caveman Circus.
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Feed Your Brain With These Fascinating Facts
After their bomber crashed in Japan in 1945, eight American Airmen were taken to Kyushu University Medical School and dissected alive. (article)
The so-called experiments performed on the living prisoners at the Kyushu University medical school included the removal of a whole lung, a stomach, and a liver, as well as pieces of brain.
After taking out one prisoner’s liver, a surgeon was heard to say, “This is a removal of the liver and we are going to see how long the man would live without his liver.”
To Catch a Predator was cancelled because a Texas District Attorney committed suicide after being caught exchanging photos with an underage boy (article)
‘Band of Brothers’ strived for historical accuracy to such an extent that multiple WWII veterans were flown in from all over the world to advise on the weaponry, battle tactics, and combat situations. As a final check, the veterans screened previews of each episode prior to their release
We Stand Alone Together – Band of Brothers Documentary:
Taco Bell tried twice to enter the Mexican market. Both times failed spectacularly, locals decried the food as inauthentic and a joke. (article)
At that first Monterrey location, Taco Bell made no attempts to hide how gringo-ish its food really was. French fries and soft-serve ice cream proudly held forth on the menu; Steven Pepper, the Yum! Brands Managing Director of Mexico admitted, “Our menu comes almost directly from the US menu.” In fact, a half-page newspaper ad that ran at the time came straight out and told the public, “One look alone is enough to tell that Taco Bell is not a ‘taqueria.’ It is a new fast-food alternative that does not pretend to be Mexican food.”
Van Halen stipulated in their performance contracts that a bowl of M&M’s, with all of the brown M&M’s removed, was to be placed in their dressing room. They didn’t do this to be jerks, but as a simple test to see if more important safety and quality specifications were attended to as well.
According to David Lee Roth, this was listed in the technical portion of the contract not because the band wanted to make capricious demands of the venue, but rather as a test of whether or not the contract had actually been thoroughly read and honored, as it contained other requirements involving legitimate safety concerns. If the bowl was present, then the band members could safely assume the other, legitimate, items in the technical rider were being fulfilled to their satisfaction. Conversely, if the bowl was missing, or brown M&M’s were present, then the band members would be within their rights to have the venue inspect the work, ask that it be redone, etc. Their concern for safety was real: during their earlier tours, not only had equipment been damaged, but several members of their road crew were nearly electrocuted, both due to inadequate safety measures and preparation on the part of the local venue.
Teddy Roosevelt actually watched Abraham Lincoln’s funeral procession in 1865 when he was 6. In fact, there’s a photograph with a young Roosevelt sitting on a balcony as the casket went by.
Look at the open second-floor window between shutters in this photograph, and you will see two little boys. President Theodore Roosevelt’s widow, Edith, identified one of them as her husband at the age of 6, looking down from his grandfather’s Union Square mansion onto the coffin of the assassinated Abraham Lincoln on Broadway in New York in April 1865.
Teddy Roosevelt’s diary entry from the day his wife Alice died from child birth and his mother died of typhoid fever. He never spoke publicly about his wife again.
His diary entry from Feb 16th, 1884 and Feb 17th, 1884:
Alice Hathaway Lee, born at Chestnut Hill, July 29th 1861. I saw her first on Oct __ 1878; I wooed her for over a year before I won her; we were betrothed on Jan 25th 1880, and it was announced on Feb 16th; on Oct 27th of the same year we were married; we spent three years of happiness greater and more unalloyed than I have ever known fall to the lot of others; on Feb 12th 1884 her baby was born, and on Feb 14th she died in my arms; As my mother had died in the same house, on the same day, but a few hours previously. On Feb 16th they were buried together in Greenwood.
On Feb 17th I christened the baby Alice Lee Roosevelt.
For joy or for sorrow my life has now been lived out.
In the 1960’s the Sugar Industry funded and selectively picked skewed studies that helped blame saturated fat with causing heart disease instead of sugar (article)
The documents show that a trade group called the Sugar Research Foundation, known today as the Sugar Association, paid three Harvard scientists the equivalent of about $50,000 in today’s dollars to publish a 1967 review of research on sugar, fat and heart disease. The studies used in the review were handpicked by the sugar group, and the article, which was published in the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine, minimized the link between sugar and heart health and cast aspersions on the role of saturated fat.
While a 20 year old Rod Serling was serving in WWII, he saw his best friend killed by a falling crate of food. Seeing the unpredictability and irony of life and death, he would later use that experience to create, ‘The Twilight Zone’
For a variety of reasons, Serling was transferred to the 511th’s demolition platoon, nicknamed “The Death Squad” for its high casualty rate. According to Sergeant Frank Lewis, leader of the demolitions squad, “He screwed up somewhere along the line. Apparently he got on someone’s nerves.” Lewis also judged that Serling was not suited to be a field soldier: “he didn’t have the wits or aggressiveness required for combat.” At one point, Lewis, Serling, and others were in a firefight, trapped in a foxhole. As they waited for darkness, Lewis noticed that Serling had not reloaded any of his extra magazines. Serling sometimes went exploring on his own, against orders, and got lost.
Serling’s time in Leyte shaped his writing and political views for the rest of his life. He saw death every day while in the Philippines, at the hands of his enemies and his allies, and through freak accidents such as that which killed another Jewish private, Melvin Levy. Levy was delivering a comic monologue for the platoon as it rested under a palm tree when a food crate was dropped from a plane above, decapitating him. Serling led the funeral services for Levy and placed a Star of David over his grave. Serling later set several of his scripts in the Philippines and used the unpredictability of death as a theme in much of his writing.
Ishi, the last native American Yahi. Due to Yahi customs a person may not speak his name until formally introduced by another Yahi. When asked for his name he’d say “I have none, because there were no people to name me.” Ishi is the name given by a anthropologist, translated as “man”.
There’s a man like him in Brazil today. He lives alone in the Amazon rainforest and avoids contact. He’s probably the only survivor of a tribe that was wiped out by loggers. Nobody knows what his name is or what language he speaks.
In light of the violence caused by kids trying to obtain limited Jordan’s, Hakeem Olajuwon released a cheap, $15 shoe and try and end the appeal of expensive shoe wear, stating: “How can a poor working mother with three boys buy Nikes or Reeboks that cost $120?” (article)
German airplanes “Stuka” did not make that screaming sound when diving because of their engine , but because they had small fans attached to the front of their landing gear that acted as siren. This will “weaken enemy morale and enhance the intimidation of dive-bombing”
The Son of Sam laws that state convicted criminals cannot profit in any way from their crimes whether it be from books, tv, film, etc. All proceeds from these deals go directly to the victims or their families.
However, courts have frequently struck down these laws on First Amendment grounds
The law required that any profits obtained from works describing a crime be withheld and made available to the victims. All monies received would be paid to the New York Crime Victims Board and held in escrow for five years. To claim the funds, the victim would have to obtain a civil money judgment against the criminal within this period.
A prison in Washington has created a program called Cuddly Catz,where prisoners are given a cat,which would otherwise probably be euthanized,to care for. (article)
I worked as a CO in a prison and we had a similar program like this but with dogs instead of cats. Every inmate that was housed in a particular dorm was given a dog for 6 weeks to train and teach a few tricks to. After the 6 weeks, the dog would be sent away for adoption and they would receive a new dog shortly after.
The dorm had a waiting list over 2 years long and there were strict requirements to be accepted and to stay (no write ups or any other disciplinary actions). The inmates that lived in that dorm very rarely got into trouble and put a lot of effort into keeping their spot.
When I got a new dog one of the inmates showed me how to use clicker techniques and what he taught me helped me teach my dog many things.
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15 Women Reveal What It’s Like Having Sex With A Micropenis
1. I feel terrible. I love this guy and he does everything he can for me. He’s the perfect partner in almost every way. Unfortunately, his penis is abnormally small, 3 inches erect. I was disappointed at first, but I really thought I could work with it. We’ve been together 6 months now and I’ve never had an orgasm from penetration.
He does other things to make up for it, but as time goes on, it’s getting tiring. We’ve tried everything from extended oral to toys and every position imaginable. I miss the ease and closeness of sex I’ve had with past partners. I love him but I’m finding it difficult. I feel mean and shallow for having these thoughts.
2. I dated a guy for awhile after a long time of flirting. He was extremely attractive to me, both physically and mentally. We got along fantastic and he always used to joke about having a small penis. I always thought, well it can’t be that small. Well it was. I’m talking like…maybe 2 inches long and 1 inch wide while fully erect.
I stuck with him for awhile and while he was good at other things, it just got to the point that it wasn’t satisfying. I felt bad and let the relationship go on longer than I probably should have, getting to the point of dreading sex, but I kind of felt like a shit at the same time because everything else was wonderful and it wasn’t his fault he was born that way.
3. Dated a guy with a micro-penis. I went to give him head and it was like the length of my pinky. It was kinda dark so I thought “okay he needs to be warmed up a bit.” But it was already hard when I touched it. I couldn’t do it. I just…its not that it wouldn’t have worked or anything because I’ve heard it can be pleasurable. But it wasn’t pleasing to look at.
4. I know that as a woman I’m not allowed to say anything like this, but I can’t not say it anymore. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year (we celebrated our anniversary 2 weeks ago, actually). Other than our sex life, we have a great relationship. We like the same things, he makes me laugh, he’s a great guy. All around, we are perfect together.
The problem is that in the time we’ve been together, I feel like I haven’t had sex once. I can barely feel him when we are together. He goes down on me all the time and we use toys a lot, but it’s just not the same. In the past, I guess I was blessed with guys who were ‘well hung’ and I could orgasm from just having sex. I miss that. We’re so great together, this just isn’t fair. It’s so frustrating.
5. He was tiny. Like four inches long and 1 inch in diameter. I’ve never seen such a small dick in my life. He was a nice guy but I just couldn’t do it. When we first had sex and he pulled it out I wanted to leave but I felt bad. I gave him a handjob and it was so awkward… He kept trying to talk dirty and saying stuff like “You love my cock don’t you?” And I ended up laughing at him.
I told him I just wasn’t into dirty talk which was a complete lie. I broke up with him a couple weeks ago and I feel so much better not having to deal with him. I told him we just weren’t compatible but I think he knew why I broke up with him since I kept saying no to sex with him.
6. Several years ago, I went on a date with a guy who I met on OKCupid, and it went pretty well. We went back to his place and started fooling around, and I soon discovered that he had a micropenis. I was turned off, but felt like it would be mean to stop because of that so we went ahead and had sex, though I couldn’t feel anything.
I didn’t see him again after that… told him that I just didn’t feel like we had good chemistry. It was a very awkward situation all around. I know that penetration isn’t everything, but I personally like it a lot and don’t feel like I could have a satisfying sex life with someone who has a micropenis.
7. I have quite a bit of experience in this area. Not boyfriends though – but sexual partners.
One of the guys was pretty good in bed… he made up for his lack of size in many other different ways … he was great with his tongue, fingers, adept at using toys.
The other one was pretty abysmal however, I think that was down to the fact that he had much less interest in sex and being good at sex though. He could have been as good as the other guy, he just didn’t educate himself.
I’m a pretty firm believer that size doesn’t matter and that it is purely down to the individuals interest in sex and willingness to learn. I mean, even a guy with a huge penis has to get good at using it and not hurting the person he’s with. We’re all born with different physical attributes – and it’s down to the individual how they make the best of that. I’ve been with guys of all different shapes and sizes and some of the guys with massive wangs have been some of my worst sexual experiences, some of the guys with smaller bits have been some of my best.
I’d never pass judgement on someone because of their size though – they might be great in bed or they might be rubbish… same as a guy with an average cock or a huge cock.
8. I’ve been with lots of guys. A few of them had extremely tiny penises (like micropenis status), and I ended things with them for entirely different reasons. One was an asshole and the other just a really weird person who I couldn’t connect with on any level. That being said, I definitely would have been willing to work around the small penis if I really felt a connection with either of them. But the fact that I didn’t, along with the tiny penis, was a deal breaker for me.
9. I’ll never forget this one guy I was involved with. He was in law school and extremely hot. Worked out a lot and what did it for me was that he could easily pick me up and maneuver me around and stuff.
Then I found out he had a 2″ penis. I’m pretty small down there (I think 5″ in huge inside me. Much more and it’s too painful.) so it wasn’t a deal breaker. The deal breaker was that he came the instant he was inside me. Then he tried to use the excuse that….a condom actually made him cum faster and would try to insist that we try without a condom (yeah, no).
I would have been willing to work more at the sex, but things ended because he was really a douchebag. I used to have these terrible thoughts, “How can a guy with such a small penis be SUCH an asshole?”
And in my experience, guys with actual big dicks, tend to be way less-assholeish and smaller-penis guys try to make up for it in douchebaggery or something. I dunno…but somewhere the wires get crossed.
10. I’m [24f] in love with my boyfriend [26m] of 3 years, but everyone I talk to says I should leave him.
I’ll start by saying I’m very in love with him. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and the thought of not being with him makes me feel sick. Things are great outside of the bedroom, but there’s only one problem, he can’t sexually please me.
I can only orgasm from PIV. (Weird I know, for me its the feeling of skin against skin and feeling full )
Fingering, oral, and clitoral stimulation are great, but I can’t orgasm that way, even alone w/ a dildo. Needless to say, I haven’t had an orgasm in over 3 years and it’s tearing me apart.
He has a micropenis (barely 2″ erect) and when we try doggy or me on top (the only way he can be inside me) I don’t feel anything at all.
I’ve brought up using a hollow strap on but he feels like it degrades him. He’s an otherwise confident guy, great looks, athletic, good career, but extremely sensitive about his size. I don’t want to hurt him and even bringing it up in the context of trying things that might work agitate him.
He’s decent at oral and fingering, but I can’t cum from that alone. While he orgasms every time we have sex, not being able to do so bothers me even though it’s not his fault or something he can change.
A friend suggested asking him is we could have an open relationship, but he’s kind of an emotional guy and I think he’d see that as a “you’re not good enough/ I don’t love you” type of thing.
I’m open to ANY suggestions you may have. I know that sexual incompatibility could be the issue here, but I would be devastated to lose him and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself over the damage it would cause him if I said “your penis is too small for me to stay with you” (even nicely).
11. Some of the best sex I had was with a guy who had two inches to work with. He made me feel like the sexiest woman on the planet, and the foreplay was astronomical. For a lot of girls, the psychological aspects of sexual arousal are more important than the physical aspects 
12. The best endowed guy I’ve ever banged is also the hands down worst partner I’ve ever been with. (And yeah, he got more than one ‘chance’ to prove otherwise… Egh. Bad memories!). This guy is the only guy I know who consistently gets nothing but terrible reviews from all the women who’ve been unlucky enough to swing with him in our little circle.
Sure, his dick was big, but his technique was terrible, he refused to try anything to improve, and every single person I know who banged him reported feeling kinda weird, dirty, used afterwards …and not in the sexy way 
On the opposite end I’ve had a lot of fun with guys who were suffering from whiskey dick, had smaller penises who knew how to make for a good time using more than just a penis alone. Some guys seem to think using only penis alone to get their partner off is some kind of point of pride, but it’s way less fun if you hold yourself back like that! Seriously penis length basically doesn’t mean anything if you know what you’re doing
13. I had a brief high school fling with a guy that has a micropenis. We tried to have sex (first time) in his car and it was a terrible disaster. There were problems with penetration (there was none), the condom didn’t fit on his member, and when we gave up and I went down on him, he just kept apologizing that he was so small. I honestly felt bad for him- not about his penis, I felt bad that he was embarrassed. He was and still is a really nice guy. Honestly . . . rock the small dick’s guys. Someone will love it . . . just don’t do it in a car.
14. I’ve slept with two people who were about 2.5-3in erect. Not sure if that’s micro. I really enjoyed both. I have a kind of short cervix and always worry about it hurting if it’s bigger. Was kind of teasing with just that length. My SO has a huge penis and I’d rather it was much smaller.
15. Recently started dating a super hot guy with a great personality . Took it to the bedroom and he pulled out a micro pencil dick. Now idc about size so we went at it .
First a blow job that was so easy it wasn’t even enjoyable for me. I really really love giving head , having my throat stuffed, gagging and swallowing cum…. But this was just horrible. It was like sucking a straw.
Okay whatever let’s get straight to sex. He couldn’t even go in my pussy hole.
Granted I am tight and haven’t fucked a lot (13 times) so he couldn’t find the hole and just started fucking my pussy lips and kept swearing to me it was in. It wasn’t lol. I kept telling him where my hole was and showing him with my finger and his dick was so thin it couldn’t go but he continued to hot dog my pussy………so I’m like okay I got this! I tried to ride him but it was like inserting a tampon and by this point I’m bored.
We tried doggy and he couldn’t reach so he just put his dick in my ass cheeks (it couldn’t reach my asshole) he came twice and was upset I didn’t squirt .
Worst sex of my life and I’ve been with an extremely dominating self pleaser who cared nothing about me.
Now I’m gonna be honest I dumped him the next day. He walked away so cocky and like he just gave me the most pleasure.. When he couldn’t even fuck my hole when I was dripping wet. I’ve always believed it’s not the size of the boat.. But the motion of the ocean. I’ve even heard micros were the best lovers…
He was a nice guy. His micro pencil dick didn’t alter my view of him….But after that I wasn’t attracted to him at all. His dick was so little and he thought he was a God send. It killed the vibes
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Poll Of The Day
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The Dumping Grounds
Alex Honnold Breaks Down Iconic Rock Climbing Scenes
Inside Japan’s Chicano Subculture
Here’s Why the Lamborghini Aventador SVJ Is Worth $600,000
Chappelle’s Show – Tron Carter’s “Law & Order”
After another comedian was mercilessly booed off stage, Bernie Mac tells them, “I ain’t scared of you motherfuckers!”
The post The Dumping Grounds appeared first on Caveman Circus.
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Linkage
Hot Girls In Yoga Pants! – Leenks
Inside Elizabeth Holmes’s Chilling Final Months At Theranos – Vanity Fair
Elon Musk Promises a Really Truly Self-Driving Tesla in 2020 …you’ll be able to snooze in the driver seat while it takes you from your parking lot to wherever you’re going – Wired
This is almost as good as having a Tempurpedic mattress and at a fraction of the price – Amazon
The hottest photos of the day – Caveman Afterdark
Men may have evolved better ‘making up’ skills – BBC
Lamborghini’s $2.5 Million Hybrid Hypercar Has Sold Out Before It’s Even Been Built – Maxim
The Quickest ‘Hack’ To Happiness – Darius Foroux
Emotional Intelligence: The Social Skills You Weren’t Taught in School – Life Hacker
How loot boxes hooked gamers and left regulators spinning – The Verge
Once hailed as unhackable, blockchains are now getting hacked – Technology Review
Josephine Skriver is damn near perfect (nsfw) – Phun
Fuck Sriracha, this is the best hot sauce ever! – Amazon
Tucker Carlson Interviewed The Historian Who Called Out Billionaires At Davos, And It Went So Badly The Segment Never Aired – Digg
The rent in the most desired area Tokyo is 1/6 the average rent of San Francisco. Even though Tokyo is much more densely populated – VOX
Jussie Smollett, Upset Over Salary, Staged Assault, Police Say – NY Times
Worker gets shot like a cannon after a explosion (death) – Live Leak
Teen in Lincoln Memorial protest sues Washington Post for $250 million – Reuters
Mother Forced To Hand-Feed Her Video Game Addicted Son Who Won’t Stop Playing – Worldstar
Alabama woman who joined ISIS can’t return to U.S., Pompeo says – PBS
Samsung just released a foldable phone – The Awesomer
Lady Gaga’s Terrible Nude Beach of the Day – Drunken Stepfather
Opioid Addiction Is So Pervasive That U.S. Hospitals Need ‘Baby Cuddlers’ To Help Newborns In Withdrawal – All That Is Interesting
Ariel Winter’s Hotness Keep Evolving – Hollywood Tuna
Swedish Feminists Demand State Ban on ‘Dangerous’ Sex Robots – Sputnik
This Is The Most Powerful Way To Make Your Life Fantastic – Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Miley Cyrus newd teets on display (nsfw) – Celeb J
7 easy tricks to make more money when selling your home according to real estate agents – Business Insider
83 Restaurants That Give You Free Food on Your Birthday – Thrillist
How to Read 80ish Books a Year (And Actually Remember Them) – GQ
How a Used $5,000 Subaru WRX From 2006 Compares to a New WRX That Costs $40,000 – Jalopnik
Can Memes Finally Win the Vaccine War for Science? – Mel Magazine
Older Adults Are Especially Prone to Social Media Bubbles – Scientific American
Hormone Kit That Gives Men The Ability To Breastfeed Could Be Available Soon. But Why? – Brass Pills
50 G-Rated Experiences That Feel As Good As An Orgasm – Thought Catalog
The post Linkage appeared first on Caveman Circus.
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Pretty Girls Make The World Go Round
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The Daily Man-Up
If you want to do something of value and be someone of value you have to come to the understanding that life isn’t easy. It hasn’t been easy for anyone, at least anyone wanting to leave a fingerprint on the planet before they leave.
Your days shouldn’t be easy, otherwise you’re not doing the things you need to do.
Even the simple things like keeping a clean house and a tidy yard. Working. Working harder today than you did yesterday. Learning. Training your body. Acquiring and developing toughness and grit.
All good things require work and they ask us to do things that we don’t necessarily want to do.
Life is tougher for some than others, we can all agree with that. And that’s just the way it is and the way it will always be.
The key is, within your own life, accepting that life is hard and it can be brutal at times. It can bring you to your knees. It seems to throw a shit storm your way at the worst possible moment.
Bad things happen and to think that they won’t even when you’re on top of the world is to be unprepared.
Accept that life isn’t easy. It’s the first step to making it GOOD.
From that launching point you’re willing to do more work and endure more hardship.
Winners in life persist. Losers quit.
To think that life will at any point be easy is to set yourself up to quit and whine and wish things were different.
Don’t fall into that trap.
Check out more awesome articles at Chad Howse
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A Few Videos Guaranteed To Make You Feel Better About Life
Military Son Surprises His Father At Work
Lt. Dan Actor Gary Sinise Has Dedicated His Life To Support Veterans. He’s Overcome With Emotion By Thank-You Video
Biker Helps Woman Catch Her Runaway Horse
“Thank you SO much, I could kiss you!” the woman says to the biker.
“No problem,” he responds. “I saw you running and panicking! Good luck!”
Every Morning, This Cat Guards Mom’s Keys So She Won’t Leave
UFC Fighter Helps Make A Special Needs Fan’s Dream Come
Parents Adopt A Baby, But Didn’t Tell Their Kids Until They Brought Her Home. Their Reactions Are Priceless
18 Years Later, Former Lab Chimps Still Remember The Woman Who Freed Them
Grocery Store Clerk Lets Cat Select A Meat Treat At The Deli Counter
Dog reuniting with the vet that treated it when it was found with severe burns
She lost her arms at birth, here she’s using two Hero Arms
Mitch Marner makes a fan’s Valentine’s Day special
Dogs reaction of getting her first wheelchair
The post A Few Videos Guaranteed To Make You Feel Better About Life appeared first on Caveman Circus.
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A Few Photos To Remind You That Life Is Beautiful
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Former Neo-Nazi Chooses Love Over Hate After An Unlikely Friendship
A Colorado resident, Michael Kent, who was a member of a violent white supremacist group based in Arizona for 20 years made the decision to have his swastika tattoos covered up after befriending his parole officer, Tiffany Whittier. Whittier is a black woman who has effected positive change in Kent’s life, which had been marred with run-ins with the law and prison time.
A few years ago, the now-38-year-old man was assigned Whittier as his parole officer and he said that she has infinitely changed his life for the better. According to Kent, Whittier marched right up to his door on that first day of the assignment and the two have never looked back.
“If it wasn’t for her I would have seeped back into it,” Kent told ABC. “I look at her as family.”
It all started with a bit of faith from both Kent and Whittier and a lot of encouragement to view the world and other people more positively. Kent’s first act was taking down the Nazi flags he had spread on his walls and replacing them with smiley faces, at Whittier’s suggestion. Her reasoning was that the positive image would help him fill the rest of his life with positivity instead of hate.
“When you wake up and see a smiley face, you’re going to go to work and you’re going to smile,” Kent said.
However, Kent’s own body was marked with evidence of his lessening hatred in the form of white supremacist tattoos. During his prison stints, he had two large swastikas tattooed on him, with one on his chest, and the words “white pride” across his back. As Kent moved further away from his beliefs that were rooted in hate, he wanted to take that final step and have the tattoos covered up.
“I’ve never, never, never been inside of a tattoo shop getting a professional tattoo,” he said, despite having tattoos all over his body. All of his former tattoos were done while in prison.
Getting tattoos removed can be very expensive, which is why Redemption Ink exists as a non-profit that offers free removals or cover-ups of hate-related tattoos. Kent went under the needle for 15 hours to undergo the painful but necessary process of removing that last piece of his former life at Fallen Heroes Tattoo in Colorado via Redemption Ink.
In the time since moving to Colorado, Kent has taken a job at a chicken farm, where he says he is the only white person in a group of Hispanic employees. This in itself is a landmark event for the father of 2, who says he never would have taken this job with his previous beliefs.
“Before all this, I wouldn’t work for anybody or with anybody that wasn’t white. [Now] we have company parties, or they have quinceañeras, I’m the only white guy there,” said Kent, joyfully.
Kent has made great strides in moving away from the Neo-Nazi movement, and part of his motivation was realizing the impact his hatred must have had on his children. Now that he has welcomed love and people of different backgrounds into his life, he hopes that his kids can do the same.
“I don’t want my kids to live the life I lived and live with hate,” said Kent. “I want my kids to know me for who I am now—a good father, a hard worker, and a good provider.”
As for Whittier, she enjoys her job as a parole officer and said that, despite generally believing in people, she never thought in a million years that she could have the lasting positive effect on someone’s life as she has had on Kent’s life.
“I’m not here to judge him. That’s not my job to judge. My job is to be that positive person in someone’s life,” she told ABC.
The post Former Neo-Nazi Chooses Love Over Hate After An Unlikely Friendship appeared first on Caveman Circus.
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The Dumping Grounds
Youtube is Facilitating the Sexual Exploitation of Children, and it’s Being Monetized
The Crystal Meth Epidemic Plaguing Fresno
Ken Jeong Answers More Medical Questions From Twitter
Watch Rudy The Bulldog Crush The 2019 WKC Masters Agility Course
Cop Expertly Uses The ‘Scared Straight’ Tactic On A Violent Child
Inside A $67 Million NYC Mansion With An Entire Spa Floor!
The post The Dumping Grounds appeared first on Caveman Circus.
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Caveman Approved Products Of The Week
We Found The Perfect Wallet…This lands right in the sweet spot between a bulky traditional bi-fold wallet and a limited minimalist wallet
You Won’t Find A Better Watch For $50
This memory foam topper is almost as good as having a Tempurpedic mattress and at a fraction of the price
This book will change the way you look at the world
One hundred thousand years ago, at least six human species inhabited the earth. Today there is just one. Us. Homo sapiens. How did our species succeed in the battle for dominance? Why did our foraging ancestors come together to create cities and kingdoms? How did we come to believe in gods, nations, and human rights; to trust money, books, and laws; and to be enslaved by bureaucracy, timetables, and consumerism? And what will our world be like in the millennia to come?
In Sapiens, Professor Yuval Noah Harari spans the whole of human history, from the very first humans to walk the earth to the radical—and sometimes devastating—breakthroughs of the cognitive, agricultural, and scientific revolutions. Drawing on insights from biology, anthropology, paleontology, and economics, and incorporating full-color illustrations throughout the text, Harari explores how the currents of history have shaped our human societies, the animals and plants around us, and even our personalities. Have we become happier as history has unfolded? Can we ever free our behavior from the legacy of our ancestors? And what, if anything, can we do to influence the course of the centuries to come?
Fuck Sriracha, this is the best hot sauce ever!
Put this on EVERYTHING!!!! My personal faves recently are pizza, hamburgers and my unique idea was an aioli made with mayo and vinegar and pine nuts and secret aardvark. it was pretty fantastic on that turkey bacon ciabatta.
An Amazingly Effective Shampoo That Makes Your Hair Thicker
This Daily Planner Is Based On Scientific Studies That Will Help You Kick Procrastination’s Ass And Will Help You Realize Your Goals. Would definitely recommend for people trying to get their life in order.
LIFESAVER: This thing is the size of a cellphone and will charge your car battery and inflate your tires
If you cook regularly, do yourself a favor and invest in a quality chefs knife
There really isn’t much I can say about an 8″ Chef’s Knife. Wusthof makes some of the best in the business and aside from the wretched plastic clamshell laminated in cardboard packaging, I’ve been highly pleased with this knife. Quartered a chicken like there was nothing there. The knife is full tang, meaning the blade is supported all the way down the entire length of the handle. For inexperienced, this is a good thing because it leads to tighter control of the blade and a more comfortable cut on harder foods. Very pleased with this new blade, it has already replaced it’s predecessor in the knife block!
This bidet has reduces the stains in my underwear by 99%!
I purchased a bidet attachment for my toilet; they basically just attach under the toilet seat and hook up to the water source from the wall. These things changed my life! We all get those horrible shits where you just sit there wipe for a 100 years and it never gets better. Later in the day you find yourself having a swamp ass and it doesn’t get better until you take a shower. Well this changes that! No more swamp ass! No more weird post-shit walking! It is so refreshing that it feels like you just took a shower! Not to mention it cuts down on TP usage as well. So now after each shit, TP is used just for drying off your ass! No more forever wipes! So if you enjoy a clean ass, I highly recommend getting one of these.
The post Caveman Approved Products Of The Week appeared first on Caveman Circus.
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Linkage
The hottest photos of the day – Caveman Afterdark
How Poor and Rich People From Around the World Live – Bright Side
The Case That Protected My Phone Through Being Dropped 53 Times – Amazon
New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft charged with soliciting prositution – Sports Gossip
Scientists Release Controversial Genetically Modified Mosquitoes In High-Security Lab – NPR
This Japanese Town Is Suffering a Ninja Shortage, Will Pay $85,000 to Anyone Who Wants to Be – Maxim
China’s CRISPR twins might have had their brains inadvertently enhanced – Technology Review
The 50 Best Movie Soundtracks of All Time – Pitchfork
My Restaurant Was the Greatest Show of Excess You’d Ever Seen, and It Almost Killed Me – Bon Appetit
This multitool is just as good as a Leatherman and 1/3 the price – Amazon
Three Men Who Had to Abandon Their White-Collar Careers to Come to America – Mel Magazine
The 56 Startups That Have Raised More Than $1 Billion – Axios
Increase Your Salary by 20% With These Online Classes – Capital Standard
Fit Girls Are Fine (nsfw) – Leenks
Wisconsin high school cheerleaders received awards for biggest breasts, butt at banquet – Fox News
Cheaters Stripped Naked and Put on Display and Other Videos of the Day – Drunken Stepfather
AT&T, Disney, Epic Games drop YouTube ads over concerns of pedophile comments on videos – USA Today
Fearing Their Dogs Will Develop Autism, Some Owners Are Declining Vaccinations – Maven
‘Empire’ producers cut Smollett from season’s last episodes – AP
A damn fine collection of booty (nsfw) – Phun
R. Kelly was charged with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse – Chicago Sun Times
Construction begins on 30-foot-tall border wall in San Diego – AZ Family
Wife of Brazilian billionaire getting pounded out by security (caught on film) – Boxden
7 Things That Can Kill a Marriage – Brass Pills
American ISIS bride’s father files lawsuit to have the US recognize her as a citizen and return her to the country immediately – Insider
Virgin Galactic spaceplane reaches space with first passenger on board – The Verge
Emily Ratajkowski Releasing More Tan Booty Pics – G-Celeb
Don’t Use a Debit Card at the Gas Pump – 2Cents
Bethany Morgan in a Wet and Sheer Swimsuit (nsfw) – BB Blog
Three Favorite Ways To Earn Money And Pay Less Taxes – Financial Samurai
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Get At This Motivation And CONQUER Your Week!
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Hotness Galore!
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The Daily Man-Up: 9 Incredible (and WORKING) Principles To Break Your Internet/Social Media Addiction
Maybe you’ve had the experience recently of sitting down and trying to read a book, and finding your mind start to… wander. Maybe you’re having trouble focusing at work or school, sitting through movies, or even TV shows. There’s a little itch there. “This is cool, I guess… but what’s happening on the internet?”
Or maybe you’re just more anxious these days. Depressed. Cynical. In a “The World Is Shit” rut. You’re thinking about all those IDIOTS out there who are ruining the planet for the rest of us. The Nazi/Fascist/Islamist/Patriarchy/Feminist/WhitePrivilege complex.
Here’s what’s going on: years of heavy internet use have (literally) reprogrammed your brain.
Your smartphone, your laptop your social media accounts, your streaming sites, your inbox and your favorite blogs are all working together to hijack your brain’s natural reward system. On a daily basis, you hit the brain with a barrage of chronic overstimulation that it simply isn’t adapted for. This is why it’s harder than ever to focus, to chill out, to make it through a meeting or dinner or bathroom break without stealing a glance at your phone. Your brain craves moremoreMORE.
The reprogramming of your reward system is hampering your motivation and creativity. It’s stressing you out and hurting your social life. It’s decreasing your academic or career performance. It’s turning you into a smartphone-addicted zombie. And it’s convincing you that the online virtual reality world is necessary to feel human.
The good news: it’s all programming, which means you can counter-program. This guide will show you how.
Ready? Let’s dive in…
Monkey brains pressing dopamine buttons
The reason it’s hard to have a healthy relationship with digital media is because our monkey brains see it as a low-cost way to trigger happy feelings.
Aside from fear, pleasure is the most important behavioral motivator. Pleasure is administered via the brain’s reward center, which releases feel-good neurotransmitters (such as dopamine) when we do things that have historically been linked with survival.
Here are just a few of the things that trigger dopamine:
- Social interaction
- Sex
- Punishing those perceived to “have it coming”
- Novelty and the unexpected
- Humor
- Information intake
- Winning arguments/being right
Unlike in nature, when all of these things are tightly correlated with survival, the artificial reality layer of the internet can present them in rapid sequence to be consumed endlessly from behind the safety of the screen.
The internet, smartphones, your favorite blog, your inbox, your Instagram account — your monkey brain just sees these as big, shiny dopamine buttons. Press the button, get the hit. Repeat.
This wouldn’t be much of a problem, except the brain is malleable—highly malleable. Sustained exposure to stimuli programs the brain to expect and value certain things. What you expose your brain to cultivates patterns within it. With respect to the internet, the programming cultivates (among other things):
- Mindlessness. A need to avoid the present moment and escape into the on-screen world, which is associated with safety and comfort.
- Scattered thinking. An inability to set priorities and focus on what’s important.
- Ego and insecurity. When more validation comes from externalities (one’s social media profile or online rep), it’s impossible to develop real self-esteem. People struggle with neurosis and self-loathing.
- Diminished motivation. When your reward system is tuned to expect easy rewards from vicarious onscreen pleasures, why pursue difficult, messy real-world achievements?
- Increased anxiety. Animals are meant to handle regular stress from stressors that they can react to, like predators. But stress systems are compromised, badly, by a diet of world-is-ending-and-you’re-powerless news.
- Meanness and cynicism. People get used to indulging their inner child online, ranting and complaining, and it leaks into their real life.
The good news is that, just as you programmed your brain, you can reprogram it. You can create a healthier relationship with digital that will make it easy for you to:
- Think clearly
- Be more productive and creative
- Be kinder to yourself and to others
- Introduce more stillness and contemplation into your life
- Reduce anxiety and cynicism
Or, more simply: You can move from a state of perpetual scatteredness to a state of calm, clear thinking.
The rest of this guide is all about how we do that.
Finding your sweet spot
Digital isn’t like cigarettes. You quit cigarettes. You don’t worry about “creating a healthy relationship” with your Marlboros.
Digital is like food. We have to eat. (I guess you don’t have to use digital, but going full Amish is neither realistic nor preferable for the majority of humanity). Within that obligation, however, is a vast spectrum. We can call it the “utility/fun” spectrum.
On one end, pure utility. The stuff that nourishes. Raw veggies, lean protein, eggs and tuna. Quinoa and lentils.
On the other end is fun. Chili fries and movie theater popcorn. Red velvet cupcakes. Dark chocolate and red wine.
What are we looking for? The sweet spot — mostly healthy, but with a few sensible indulgences. You probably can’t eat chili fries every day and maintain optimal health. You probably can enjoy a few if you’ve been eating well and working out. Certainly, a life with red wine and chocolate and a slice of birthday cake every once in a while is more fun than a life without.
Our relationship with digital is very similar. On the utility side, there’s work emails and Youtube videos about proper leaf raking techniques. On the fun side, there’s BuzzFeed quizzes and snarky Tweets and porn.
Your goal: figure out a “sweet spot” between utility and fun that allows you to lead an excellent, productive life while enjoying fun stuff online.
But this is much easier said than done. To get to the sweet spot, you’ll need to take a REALLY GOOD LOOK at your own digital habits. You’ll have to cultivate the inner honesty to recognize what is and isn’t working. And you’ll have to commit to making real change.
Sound good? Let’s jump in.
Counter-programming: 9 major principles
These are the nine major principles of counter-programming your brain. Follow these rules and you’ll dramatically increase the health of your digital habits — not to mention your overall quality of life. These have all been tested by me. They work. Put them to work for you, and watch your happiness and performance jump.
Principle 1: Be purposeful about digital.
The programming: Turn to a screen whenever you need something. Anxious? Upset? Lonely? Bored? The screen has what you need. Paw at the screen like it’s a slot machine. Trigger those hits of dopamine. Relish your superiority. It’s fine to take a spin on the hamster wheel of impulse gratification every once in a while. Where it kills you is when it becomes a way of life. When your every waking moment is filled with Instagram binges, and little tappy games, and refreshing your news apps, and texting friends, then — that’s where your dreams die.
The counter-programming: Be intentional when using your digital devices. Ask: “Why am I doing this? What am I hoping to accomplish here? What’s my goal?” Your digital devices are tools to be used purposefully, not slot machines to be slapped over and over for your amusement.
Remember the utility/fun spectrum? Intentionality is what lets you dip into “fun” without making it a way of life. When you purposefully decide to pull up Instagram or Facebook for a bit of social media doodling, it’s very different from compulsively pulling it up because you’re uncomfortable, or bored, or scared. You stay in control; you call the shots.
Cut back on your aimless browsing. Way back. Don’t treat digital like a cheap way to fill dead air with mindless clicking. This is like eating out of boredom. Use digital when you need to, and put it down when you don’t.
Reintroduce friction. Denature the “whip-out-the-phone” impulse. When you aren’t using your phone, put it away—in a bag or on a stand on a table across the room. When you aren’t using your laptop, close it and put it in a drawer. Create separation.
Oh, and… SLOW DOWN. Don’t whip out your phone like you’re going to resuscitate someone with it. Try thoughtfully stopping… opening your bag… removing your phone… mindfully using it… putting it back. It sounds silly, but these are precisely the kinds of tweaks that train your mind to be more spacious and calm.
Principle 2: Displace digital from its central role in your life.
The programming: Look at your phone. Look at your TV. Look at your computer. Answer this message. Respond to this prompt. Look here. Look here. Look here.
In the attention economy, your time and headspace are more valuable than ever — which has spawned a massive ecosystem of profit-driven companies who compete for it. Unguarded, you’ll find yourself doing their bidding — clicking, tapping and swiping as life goes by.
The counter-programming: Instead of treating life as an undifferentiated blur — an endless series of screens from which you very occasionally look up and go “Huh?”—strive to make a clean break between your (purposeful) digital time and your everything-else, real-life time.
I try to look at my phone sparingly, when I need to. I don’t use the screen to fill time, or as a safety blanket for when I’m uncomfortable. When I come home, I put it on a little stand on the table by the door.
I’ll look at my inputs (email, texts, Slack etc.) regularly, but only to make sure nothing needs my immediate attention. On my schedule, I’ll go through my inputs and zero them out. But I take pains not to flit from one thing to another like a butterfly.
And I never look at my phone when I’m out and about. I cringe when I catch myself text-walking. If I need to use my phone, I stop, take it out, use it, and then move on with my life.
Relocate digital from the center of your universe to a tertiary planet that you occasionally drop in on. Your quality of life will go up considerably.
Principle 3: Cut out junk-food content.
The programing: The high appeal of digital “junk food”:
- Endlessly novel
- Highly stimulating
- Fast refresh (always something new)
- Gleefully immature (Think fluff subReddits, Twitter, 4chan etc.)
- Accessible everywhere, on demand
But like real junk food, too much of this completely ruins your diet. You’re conditioned to crave it more and more. You equate it with substance. As Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” Do you really want your thoughts to be like Twitter or Buzzfeed — endlessly sarcastic, relentlessly bitchy? Or do you want to think, act and behave like a human being?
The counter-programming: You are what you eat. This is as true for content as it is for food. Tier your information diet into “Never,” “Sometimes” and “Always.”
Never: The stuff that is never, ever good. Complete junk, and liable to trigger a breakdown. For example, Twitter is on my no-fly list. Twitter is like 99% complaining. Every time I go, I find myself stumbling out of a rabbit hole several hours later. Frustrated, angry, and wondering where the day went. It’s useless to me.
My Never list also includes: Virtually all news sites, blogs that are cruel/snarky/gossipy, political stuff.
Sometimes: Sensible indulgences. Use this as a reward. Did you get up early and write? Great, enjoy some Netflix in the afternoon. Are you in the middle of a productive study session? Cool, take a ten-minute Instagram break. There are no hard-and-fast rules; you know when you’ve earned some fluff.
My Sometimes list also includes: Reddit (motivational/positive subreddits ONLY), Facebook, the New York Times. Intelligently written blogs. Entrepreneurs, motivational and health content.
Always: BOOKS. Read books. Not only do books train your mind to monotask on information, they’re a decent screen for quality. Not every book is great and not every quality idea becomes a book, but writing a book is hard, and the standards are comparatively high, so ideas tend to be better thought out and researched.
Read: philosophy, self-development, history/business/biography, quality fiction. And keep a few entertaining books around, too, like fantasy/thriller shit — perfect for winding down at the end of the day with. Get a Kindle — mine changed my life. When you feel the need to look at a screen, look at your ebook of The Meditations instead of Instagram.
You’ll find there are people and blogs that are consistently good. Get on their mailing list and read their stuff when it comes out. Reward quality with attention. Don’t reward pandering.
Remember: Out of sight, out of mind. Unsubscribe from negative subreddits; use Social Fixer to block unpleasant keywords/domains from your Facebook feed. Use URL blocker to block Twitter.
Also remember: Triviality is suffocating. Does it really matter who did what at the Emmys last night? Does it matter that Twitter had THIS to say? Does it matter that some jackass in some other part of the world went online and said something stupid? If you want to think big, apply your mind to big things, over which you have some level of influence. Don’t scatter your thoughts among a million insubstantial flecks.
Principle 4: Stop multitasking.
The programming: Rapidly flick from one screen to the next. Notifications popping up to tell you about everything, all the time. Answer emails while walking to the coffee shop. Check your social media during the lecture. It all feels super-productive, but multi-tasking crushes productivity, increases frustrating, and saps your energies. A day spent multitasking is a day wasted. A life spent multitasking is fractious and ineffectual.
The counter-programming: Reacquaint yourself with the joys of deep focus on your work, and presence with your current state of mind. Continuous multi-tasking programs your brain to go shallow. To do awesome shit, we want to go deep.
Before you begin each day, have your priorities clearly in mind. Write them out if you need. Decide on what you’re going to do. Better yet, schedule time to do it — like it’s an appointment on your calendar. Make and keep this appointment with yourself.
When it comes time to work, configure your environment for actual working. Disable notifications for all but the most critical, time-sensitive things on your laptop and smartphone. Keep your phone on silent. Close unneeded tabs. Put on some chill, non-distracting music. Use a focus/break technique, such as Pomodoro intervals, to motivate yourself. And go do it.
When you’re out in the world, resist the temptation to “multitask through life.” I’m not going to say it’s beneficial (or realistic) to NEVER look at your phone, but for God’s sake, not when you’re walking around or talking to a friend. Be present with what you’re doing.
Principle 5: Replace social media with real social interactions.
The programming: A live, always-on feed of social information from friends, family, colleagues, former dormmates, someone you met at a party once… Show off your cool life and celebrate the coolness of others.
Never mind the reality — that we’re all sitting around inside looking at everyone else having fun. Never mind that even when we do “make it,” when we get the cool car or gourmet meal, we’re still posting it online, enslaved to the opinions of strangers.
The human mind is hard-wired to be social, and social media offers only a simulacra that will endlessly entice but never satisfy.
The counter-programming: Engage in frequent, extended social bonding with flesh-and-blood human beings. Sit across from them at the table. Navigate awkward silences. Talk. Explore. Share a meal.
Call up old friends or acquaintances and go to coffee to catch up. Ask strangers out. Go out to visit a friend and just BE with them. Don’t worry about documenting it for your feed.
Taper your social media use. Try to go on it less. If you’re a hardcore user, limit session time. You can use self-discipline or any number of apps that time and reduce phone usage. If you’re a light social media user, consider going on a break or discontinuing usage. I personally maintain a Facebook and Reddit account but have shut down everything else, and it feels great. Yeah, I miss out on some stuff — but I conserve headspace for other things that I place more value on. It’s all about priorities.
Principle 6: No porn.
The programming: Indulge your hedonistic desires to your heart’s content. It’s normal, healthy and free.
Except… It’s not normal. The monkey brain wasn’t made for the world of on-demand, high-def, infinite-variety porn that can be delivered straight into the eye sockets of anybody with a working internet connection.
Porn, like compulsive gambling and spree shopping, is an extreme example of the brain’s reward system being highjacked by an exaggerated version of a naturally healthy stimulus. Just as the gambler needs to keep pulling that lever to get their dopamine fix, so do porn addicts learn to blunt themselves into docile submissiveness with their habit.
Porn usage has been clinically linked to changes in brain plasticity that mirror drug addiction. It’s tied to desensitization (a numbed response to pleasure), sensitization (powerful cravings for more), hypofrontality (weakened impulse resistance) and dysfunctional stress circuits (increased use of porn to manage stress).
It’s also worth adding that the industry exploits young women , arguments about “empowerment” notwithstanding.
The counter-programming: This one’s easy. Stop watching porn.
If the idea of giving up porn fills you with dread, then congratulations — now you know for certain that it’s a problem. There is no reason that a healthy and well-adjusted person should need to watch porn. None. Imagination was good enough for billions of our ancestors, and it will be fine for you. Better yet — focus on intimacy with your special someone, or work on meeting that special someone. Visit /r/nofap or /r/noporn . There can be some crazy mumbo-jumbo on there, but the underlying principles/motivation are solid.
Principle 7: Screen-free mornings and evenings.
The programming: Keep your phone by your bedside. Wake up, check your inbox and Twitter and Instagram before you get up. (Associate your smartphone with safety and warmth). Look at a screen until the moment you pass out. Wake up and do it again.
The counter-programming: It is critical to have a morning and evening routine that omit screen time. The first and last hours of your day should be low activity and screen-free. Honor your body’s natural wake/sleep cycles. I can’t overemphasize how critical this is.
(There are only a few exceptions. You can look at a Kindle if you prefer to read eBooks. And if you have a really good reason to be looking at a screen — like, you’re writing a novel and your writing time is 5-7am — go for it. But cut it out with the aimless browsing.)
Mornings are a foundation, a time to wake your mind up and ease it into the day. Choose reading, journaling, quiet reflection, stretching. Gradually ramp up the activity level. I get up around 6, but don’t look at a screen before 8.The nighttime is a time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Stop using stimulating digital (video games, social media etc.) with a couple of hours to go before bed. The last hour before bed should consist of reading and relaxation.
It goes without saying, but your phone and computer don’t belong in your bedroom. If your smartphone is your alarm clock, cool — get one on Amazon for $7. (Better yet, get the Philips wakeup clock — worth every penny IMO).
Principle 8: Align values with behavior online
The programming: Act one way in person, but let your inner child run loose online. Bully people, complain endlessly, pick fights with strangers, leave nasty comments. What’s the harm? It’s not you. “On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.”
Oh wait, it IS you. You ARE the person you act like online.
When you complain online, your real-life experience sours. When you obsess over doom-and-gloom news stories, your worldview darkens considerably. And when you’re mean and juvenile and nasty to perfect strangers, you’ll find your thoughts becoming sharper about the real-life people that you love.
The counter-programming: You aspire (hopefully) to be a kind, generous, emotionally stable, pragmatic, thoughtful, intelligent, purposeful and motivated person. So act like it. Don’t fill the web with cruelty, snide judgements, self-deprecation and immaturity. Letting your inner child run free is dangerous business, especially in this era where online and real-life identities are thoroughly merged. Regard your public face on the web like your public face in real life.
Of course, nobody’s perfect. Hell, you could go through MY reddit/social media history and find some unsavory stuff. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about recognizing when you stray and getting back on the path.
There are no points for winning fights against anonymous strangers. Yes, they disagree with you. Yes, they’re horribly ignorant and stupid and wrong. So what? You’re not going to convince them over the internet. You’ll just give them what they really want: a reaction. So don’t do it.
BE POSITIVE. Don’t ever complain online. It’s pointless and narcissistic. Nobody cares about your complaints nearly as much as you do. Yes, I know that when you’re swelling up with righteous outrage, it feels really good to scream it to the world, but please — save it. Mom was right: say nice things or don’t say ‘em at all.
Principle 9: Cultivate real excellence.
The programming: Get the highest score, the most Likes, the celebrity re-tweet, the followers, the upvotes… Treasure them. These are signs of your value and worth.
The counter-programming: Life is short. We all die, but death isn’t the scary part. It’s the long, slow decline beforehand. Your health, hopes and dreams will probably fade before your mind and body do.
In order to meet the decline without regret, we owe it to ourselves to work on ourselves. We should aspire towards excellence. Not impossible excellence — superhuman beauty or effortless riches — but real excellence. An enjoyable, productive life filled with good experiences and good people, free of unnecessary suffering, beholden to no one. When asked if we’re happy, we should be able to say “Yes” without a moment’s hesitation.
Digital can support our path to excellence, but it can no more provide excellence than a paycheck or nice car or big house in the suburbs can. (Think of how many enraged mediocrities there are with well-paying jobs and great cars). Digital can’t make us kinder, or more mindful, or appreciate a sunset any more. It subtracts more than it adds.
Aspiring to real excellence gives you a path, the path of self-improvements. There’s a purpose, and a joy, to working on yourself — to watching your mindfulness and health and fitness and career flourish over time. It’s not fast, and it’s not easy, but it’s the real deal.
The specifics of how to get there are beyond the scope of this article, but it’s all the usual suspects. Eat well — mostly unprocessed, whole foods. Minimize drinking, sugar and processed food. Guard your sleep like a jealous lover. Work out at an appropriate intensity. Move around — lots of long walks.
The point is to do. The doing is the thing. The decline is coming. Fill it with happy memories. The rest will take care of itself.
Wrapping Up
The most important piece of this puzzle is your commitment to change. If you’ve made it this far, I think we can safely assume you’re at least part-way interested. So, congrats! Now, make it real.
If you create a healthy relationship with digital it will change your life. I know this for a fact because it changed mine. I have reached a level of relative peace and happiness in my life that I genuinely never thought possible. Certainly, it didn’t seem reachable when I was an stimulus-addicted information-overloaded smartphone monkey.
And yet, here I am. Far from perfect, far from enlightened, but in a much better state than I was in a few years ago. I hope this guide helps you like it did me. If you have questions, feedback, etc. — please let me know in the comments. I love this community and it’s my pleasure to provide this information.
I hope this helps!
– Homescreen Zero
The post The Daily Man-Up: 9 Incredible (and WORKING) Principles To Break Your Internet/Social Media Addiction appeared first on Caveman Circus.
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