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What is feederism?
People develop various tastes in their sexual development and it’s beyond their control. You could just as easily ask the question: “Why do some people like people of the same gender?” The short answer is that ‘it’s just how they’re wired.’
I am inclined to feederism myself and I don’t know where it came from or exactly when it first occurred to me but seeing females that have gained weight or are gaining weight is sexually arousing to me. Personally, (to share more than you want) I have this inclination towards fulfilling gender roles where the ideal feminine form is soft, gentle and pampered, being brought nourishment by a strong, lean, provider of a male. When the female is able to become plump it signifies that these roles (rolls? – pun) are being filled. It’s such a strong impulse that I don’t particularly find myself compelled to seek intercourse in a relationship (although I do engage and enjoy in it – sorry if tmi).
Additionally there are all sorts of preferences to be found here, I would not care to have a partner weigh more than 250–275 lbs (and really the weight isn’t so much desirous as the change in weight eg. gained 50lbs) but some people like really large individuals. Under the umbrella of feederism there are all kinds of different things that people will find erotic from seeking various weights and body shapes, to feeding their partner, to being fed, gaining weight along with their partner, weighing and measuring, there are people who just like eating without weightgain and the list goes on.
I should also mention there are some people involved with feederism and fat fetishism that may not be sexually wired that way but take advantage or enjoy the niche found in this area. Some may find it enjoyable to be found attractive when they thought they might not have otherwse, others still may find the idea fascinating and indulge just for the sake of it. Stranger things happen.
In conclusion, I don’t know that you can really hope to glean any insight here, unless you’ve experienced it you will probably never understand it. I do not relate to how some men find other men sexually attractive but I can try and compare my perspective and realize that it’s kind of the same picture seen through a different lense.
– Anonymous
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Why are some women attracted to men in prison?
Isenberg: The real crux of the whole thing is that these are all women who are damaged. In their earlier lives they’ve been abused either by their parents, their fathers, their first husbands, their boyfriends, whatever. They’ve been sexually abused, psychologically, emotionally abused. These are women who’ve been hurt. And when you’re in a relationship with a man in prison. He’s in prison. He’s not going to hurt you. He can’t hurt you. So you’re always in a state of control because you’re the one who’s on the outside. You’re free. You go in and you visit him. You can decide whether to accept his collect phone calls. So in a way, even though cons are very manipulative—that’s why we call them con men and they are manipulative with the women—it’s still up to the woman to decide how far she wants to go and she knows she can’t be hurt. And every single woman I interviewed had been abused in the past and that’s what I found out. That was the big secret.
(via)
Why is the song ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ not a rape anthem?
Given a cursory glance and applying today’s worldview to the song, yes, you’re right, it absolutely sounds like a rape anthem.
BUT! Let’s look closer!
“Hey what’s in this drink” was a stock joke at the time, and the punchline was invariably that there’s actually pretty much nothing in the drink, not even a significant amount of alcohol.
See, this woman is staying late, unchaperoned, at a dude’s house. In the 1940’s, that’s the kind of thing Good Girls aren’t supposed to do — and she wants people to think she’s a good girl. The woman in the song says outright, multiple times, that what other people will think of her staying is what she’s really concerned about: “the neighbors might think,” “my maiden aunt’s mind is vicious,” “there’s bound to be talk tomorrow.” But she’s having a really good time, and she wants to stay, and so she is excusing her uncharacteristically bold behavior (either to the guy or to herself) by blaming it on the drink — unaware that the drink is actually really weak, maybe not even alcoholic at all. That’s the joke. That is the standard joke that’s going on when a woman in media from the early-to-mid 20th century says “hey, what’s in this drink?” It is not a joke about how she’s drunk and about to be raped. It’s a joke about how she’s perfectly sober and about to have awesome consensual sex and use the drink for plausible deniability because she’s living in a society where women aren’t supposed to have sexual agency.
Basically, the song only makes sense in the context of a society in which women are expected to reject men’s advances whether they actually want to or not, and therefore it’s normal and expected for a lady’s gentleman companion to pressure her despite her protests, because he knows she would have to say that whether or not she meant it, and if she really wants to stay she won’t be able to justify doing so unless he offers her an excuse other than “I’m staying because I want to.” (That’s the main theme of the man’s lines in the song, suggesting excuses she can use when people ask later why she spent the night at his house: it was so cold out, there were no cabs available, he simply insisted because he was concerned about my safety in such awful weather, it was perfectly innocent and definitely not about sex at all!) In this particular case, he’s pretty clearly right, because the woman has a voice, and she’s using it to give all the culturally-understood signals that she actually does want to stay but can’t say so.** She states explicitly that she’s resisting because she’s supposed to, not because she wants to: “I ought to say no no no…” She states explicitly that she’s just putting up a token resistance so she’ll be able to claim later that she did what’s expected of a decent woman in this situation: “at least I’m gonna say that I tried.”** And at the end of the song they’re singing together, in harmony, because they’re both on the same page and they have been all along.
So it’s not actually a song about rape – in fact it’s a song about a woman finding a way to exercise sexual agency in a patriarchal society designed to stop her from doing so. But it’s also, at the same time, one of the best illustrations of rape culture that pop culture has ever produced. It’s a song about a society where women aren’t allowed to say yes…which happens to mean it’s also a society where women don’t have a clear and unambiguous way to say no.
Is it possible to be a functioning meth addict?
For roughly a year and a half I was using a little over 4 grams of crystal a week, injected. I was a production manager for a company with roughly 100 employees. At any given time I had between 4-24 employees that were directly subordinate, I had two superiors in the building.
Yeah you can function normally for some time. I functioned longer than anyone I have ever met, while also using more than anyone I ever met. I never came down. Every so often I would pass out. Wake up, inject, continue.
Normalcy as in, comparable to what I was capable for before meth. Hard to say. 3-6 months maybe.
At 6 months there was my capacity was undoubtedly diminished. By 9 months it was apparent to others there was something seriously wrong.
After long term use of meth, certain things start to change. You lose everything. Your memory, oh shit. It is like trying to function with 4mb of RAM. Best way I can explain to people is that recall is like a strobe light. Sometimes it’s blinking fast. Sometimes slow. There were things I just could not remember. This affects your functionality.
What else. Interpersonal relationships become difficult. Eventually you will become a megalomaniac. Honestly; eventually you become irrational.
You have moments of clarity realizing your irrational behavior, but these never changed my course of action. So what, I’m just being irrational. Affects functionality.
Somewhere around a year I lost my job. Not directly related to use, but. I mean, what wasn’t related to my use.
Oh and good luck trying to quit. Fuck, many of my problems at work came from times I was trying to get off of it. Vicious cycle, I think the longest I was clean in that year was maybe 2 weeks.
By 18 months I was not the same person. I was disappearing for days and weeks. I wouldn’t keep a phone on me. The amount I used varied wildly. It wasn’t take more to get higher anymore.
I passed out constantly. I was in oncoming traffic three times on waking up three separate times during this period. Honest to god it was as scary and as bad as what you’re imagining.
I was one of the dark people. The crystal people. I was a shadow of the spirit I was.
So. There’s that. At 18 months of consistently injecting roughly 4g a week, I had lost all functionality. During this entire length of time I was the only one with a job, a car and a home. I knew someone with a car and a home for awhile, he’s now off the grid. I was by far and away the most successful user I met. I can’t stress that enough. I’ve heard stories of people using large amounts for years, but I’ve never actually met someone that lasted as long as I did in the real world. 3 to 6 months into serious usage I believe most are going to start seeing serious consequences.
Today my use is a cat and mouse game. I don’t use anything like I did, but it doesn’t take as much to get me thinking crazy. Like maybe after I went there once, it’s that much easier to find your way back to the dark, crystal palace.
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