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The Dumping Grounds

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This video perfectly captures the anguish of waiting for STD results

 

Fascinating interview with former Mexican Mafia shot caller Rene “Boxer” Enriquez

 

An $11,000 coffee machine hand-built by Stanford engineers

 

WWII Veteran talks about how to spot a sniper

 

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Awesome Stuff Around The Internet

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How To Invest In Yourself – The Mission

You Cannot Learn What You Think You Already Know – Life Hacker

This Photo Of Lindsey Pelas In A Thong Is Something Sisqó Would Be Proud Of – Mandatory

Father’s Day Gift Guide and Giveaway – 5 Minutes For Mom

How to Train Your Brain to Get What You Want in 60 Days – Thrive

The problem isn’t that life is unfair — it’s that you don’t know the rules – Business Insider

Vida Guerra Wearing A Whole Lot Of Nothing! – Yes Bitch

Lessons on Success and Deliberate Practice from Mozart, Picasso, and Kobe Bryant – James Clear

How Much Are Frequent Flier Miles Really Worth? – New York Times

Here’s How Much Businesses Pay To Get On Those Big Blue Exit Signs – Jalopnik

Authorities seek Justice for tortured dog – Rare

The Secrets to Marriage (9 pics) – Leenks

2017 Honda Civic Type R Review – Car And Driver

Ten Years of ‘2 Girls 1 Cup,’ the Most Memorable Brazilian Shit on the Internet – Motherboard

Putin Offers Political Asylum To James Comey, Citing Potential Prosecution In U.S. – NPR

Photoshop Master Reveals Why You Should Never Trust Photos You See On Social Media – Bored Panda

Big Little Truths: Travel Ideas for an Awesome Summer – Life Minute

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The Type Of Girl That Makes You Forget How To Talk

The Daily Man-Up

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Every man seeks the answer to the eternal question:

“How do I become confident?”

And for most, they’re asking the wrong question. They should be saying:

“How do I love myself more?”

Before you think I’m spouting some new age fluff, hear me out.

Confidence is not something you instantly acquire. It’s not a simple on and off switch or a few lines you can memorize. It’s not about getting laid, acting “alpha”, or anything external. It is an internal belief about yourself that must be cultivated over time. That begins with your self-esteem.

Do you love who you are? Do you trust in yourself? Do you prioritize your needs? Do you invest in yourself regularly? Do you respect your opinions? Are you congruent with your values and principles?

When faced with various situations in life that challenge the above, there are two paths you can take. One leads you to a life of fulfillment, the other leads to endless suffering. 

Fear and avoidance: the path to misery

Men with low self-esteem often choose the wrong path. They don’t realize how much damage they’re doing by perpetuating a cycle of frustration and unhappiness.

  1. You choose not to love yourself. You subdue your needs, wants, and desires. You hide or lie about your opinions. You avoid pushing your comfort zone out of fear. You always act how you think other people will want rather than what you want.
  2. You receive internal destructive feedback. You feel like a failure for not trying and beat yourself up about it. You’re ashamed of yourself. You feel weak and powerless. You make excuses. You’re always left wondering what could have happened and over-analyzing.
  3. You subconsciously reinforce that you aren’t worthy and lower your self-esteem. You build beliefs that no one will like the real you. You think you are not worthy of being loved. You keep burying your core and lose the sense of who you are. You fail to trust in your abilities. You’re convinced that you will never get what you want. You re-affirm that you’re a failure who can never change.

The cycle keeps repeating and gaining power over you. You are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Check out the rest of the article at Nick Notas

The post The Daily Man-Up appeared first on Caveman Circus.

A Heavy Metal Dose Of AWESOME To Help You Celebrate Friday

A Few Clips Guaranteed To Make You Feel Better About Life

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Teen Dances For Joy After Successful Heart Transplant

 

Every morning this kangaroo comes around her and get cuddle from her and completely loves it

 

Gracie was homeless, pregnant, and scheduled to be euthanized. Then a vet took her in

 

Dog drinking from lake falls in and officer pulls him back up 

 

Neighborhood dogs love the UPS guy

 

Little girl prefers grandpa over grandma

 

There, there, it’ll be okay

 

Goats will climb everywhere 

 

Little girl gives 82-year-old widower new lease on life

 

Guy gives homeless woman the jacket off his back

 

188 days in the hospital and one new heart later, 5-year old Ari finds out he’s going home

 

Strangers Hold Impromptu Graduation Ceremony On Stuck Train

 

Dad Surprises Son From Beyond The Grave With Birthday Gift

 

The post A Few Clips Guaranteed To Make You Feel Better About Life appeared first on Caveman Circus.

A Few Photos To Remind You That Life Is Beautiful

The Dumping Grounds

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Kenneth Copeland, Jesse Duplantis, defending their private jets

 

Man creates special car horns for various situations

 

How To Make Your Pants Into An Instant Life Jacket

 

Ford GT Inspection: Should we buy or not?

 

Bad Brains – The Loft, Berlin May 22, 1983

 

Condor comes to visit the guy who saved him a few years ago

 

Sakuraba style jump kick in MMA fight

 

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Awesome Stuff Around The Internet

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Some Really Simple Questions About Mayweather-McGregor – The Ringer

All the weird, bizarre, and totally unexpected ways sex was different in feudal Japan – Ranker

Watch Instababes Sara Underwood and Tina Louise Reveal The Best Ways to Pick Them Up – Maxim

Healing Gold Summer Oil will have you looking fresh as hell! – Marysia

How Much Are People Making from the Sharing Economy? – Priceconomics

Remember The Name: Uldouz Wallace – Yes Bitch

Bikini Season is Back! (47 Photos) – Radass

10 Movies That Got The Future Horribly Wrong – Listverse

3 Trends that Will Define Our Future – Hackernoon

Russia believes they have killed the man who leads the Islamic State – Rare

Keep Things Simple For A Healthy, Long Life – NPR

Let Hot Colombian Fitness Model Anllela Sagra Improve Your Mood – Mandatory

Is This The Future of Men’s Fashion? – Sad And Useless

Even Ted Nugent Says It’s Time to Tone It Down – Newser

Laundromat Fight Knocks Out Girl By Accident – Trending Views

Victoria Justice’s Social Media Keeps Getting Hotter – Hollywood Tuna

The Cosby Jury Really Needs to Think About It for Some Reason – The Blemish

Ariel Winter, Lily-Rose Depp and Other Random Ladies – G-Celeb

Amazon Buying Whole Foods For $13.7 Billion – Consumerist

How to get free upgrades when you travel (without being a jerk about it) – Thrillist

The Magic of Doing One Thing at a Time – HBR

The post Awesome Stuff Around The Internet appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Taking The Day Off

Hot Instagram Babe Of The Day: Georgia

Level Up With Some Motivation And CONQUER The Week!

The Daily Man-Up

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Embrace the struggle; the harder it is, the more you gain from it. The more you test yourself and are required to push yourself, the tougher you become, the greater your capacity for effort becomes. It’s in the struggle that we grow and evolve, yet so many of us distract ourselves from the struggle instead of embracing it and rejoicing in it.

Harsh times aren’t curses, they’re blessings, gifts that are bestowed upon us and they’ll lead us to greatness if we see them as such. So many, though, see them not as challenges, but as curses. They compare their hardships to the cushy lives that others aim to portray. They see the hours they have to spend working to yield little results while others are traveling and partying and lying on beaches, sun-hat on head, Corona in hand.

You need to embrace the struggle, to flee from it is to fail, it’s to weaken your resolve and relegate yourself to what can only be a shell of the life you have it within you to lead. We aren’t born with this understanding, it’s something we have to learn and we usually discover its necessity through failure.

I’ve failed more than I’ve won and every time I’ve failed its the work and the persistence after that failure that created something good from it. It’s the struggle that came after the fall, the climb back from the abyss, that not only made me tougher, but generated some kind of victory that could not have been without a sadistic love for the struggle, for a prolonged focus on a single thing and an avoidance of avoidance.

If you are to be anywhere near what you can be, you must seek to forge your potential within the fire of the struggle, within the flames of hard work and persistence because there is no other way.

Check out the rest of the article at Chad Howse

The post The Daily Man-Up appeared first on Caveman Circus.

10 Graphic Novels You Need To Read Before You Die

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No. Not the movie starring Johnny Depp, which is an insult to the genius that is From Hell. Alan Moore is the most iconic writer that’s ever walked the face of the planet. He is considered the father of the graphic novels genre and is unsurpassed to date. From Hell chronicles the tale of Jack the Ripper. There has been many a book about the infamous serial killer, but this one is different. It explores the world through the eyes of ripper himself, and jumps to everyone who’s affected by him. Moore creates complex characters and sets them in gritty, unapologetic, uncensored London. He also draws in the major writers of that era and the political scenario. Grotesquely beautiful, a must read.

 

 

As part of the traditional Marvel Universe, The Punisher was always severely toned down as the company attempted to market him to kids as a hip action hero with a ton of cool gadgets. But when Marvel finally brought the character into its mature MAX line with writer Garth Ennis, the spandex costume and goofy sidekicks were replaced with a devastating arsenal of weaponry and a cynical, sociopath-like attitude towards others. Punisher was dead on his feet when the team behind Preacher were brought in to reinvigorate the character – and they turned him into a force to be reckoned with.

In this series, a much older Frank Castle lives in a realistic world where superheroes don’t exist and the villains are drug dealers and sex traffickers. During Ennis’ 60-issue run, Punisher shot and stabbed his way through countless law-breakers. The personal ramifications of his one-man war on crime, meanwhile, left him emotionally crippled and incapable of having anything that resembled a normal life.

Ennis added supreme depth to a character who was normally nothing more than a walking, talking cliché. Though you can still label this book as part of the superhero genre, it’s more akin to a blood-soaked crime title. 

 

 

Fairy tale characters find themselves in exile in New York following the conquest of their country by dark forces – so far, so generic fantasy novel. What sets Fables apart is the fact that these are not the virginal princesses, gallant princes and cutesy cuddly animals of your bedtime stories, but bitches, bastards and creeps who have let the big, bad city go to their heads. Romping through taboos rather than fields of daisies and establishing a few nice crimes and puzzles along the way, this is every bit as compelling and gritty as its superhero competitors. And it’s not every day that you use the word “gritty” about a story starring – among others – Snow White

 

 

At the beginning of this series, every last man and male animal on Earth drops dead, more or less simultaneously. Except, that is, for a guy called Yorrick and his pet monkey. Why have they been spared? What do they do now? And how are they going to survive in a world where half the population’s gone and half the remaining half have gone a little nuts? The story that results is massive in scope but also intensely personal, taking in gender politics and geophysical realities but, in the end, coming down to a small group gathered around a boy and a monkey, with one of the most moving finales we’ve ever read.

 

 

The story provides a look at the most memorable comic book moments from Marvel’s history through the eyes of a news photographer named Phil Sheldon. To see these characters from the prospective of the average man made these heroes look more like gods than simple comic book stars. It was a novel concept, but no matter how great Kurt Busiek’s scripts were, none of that would have mattered if the artist wasn’t up to the task.

Thankfully Alex Ross absolutely owned every page. His fully-painted work added to the characters’ respective mystiques. Readers witnessed Spider-Man battle the Green Goblin, the Fantastic Four take on Galactus, and the X-Men reveal themselves to the public in photo-realistic style. Imagine a marriage between Jack Kirby and Norman Rockwell. To be honest, the Marvel heroes have never looked better.

 

 

Vertigo has been responsible for some of the most creatively daring comics to ever hit the mainstream. None of them, however, come close to being as blasphemous and dangerous as Garth Ennis’ Preacher.

A small-town preacher becomes possessed by the offspring of a demon and an angel, and sets off in search of the absentee Almighty to take issue with His management of the world. Garth Ennis’ bloody, twisted and sickly funny religio-Western epic is full of brutality, mutilation and the drunken ramblings of a mad Irish vampire, but it’s also – deep down – a love story that says all of creation can go hang as long as love has its chance. Huh. Despite the castrations and perversions and maulings, despite the Saint of Killers’ glowering menace, Ennis might just be a big softie after all.

 

 

Despite the best efforts of creators like Neal Adams and Denny O’Neil, by the 1980’s Batman was still closely associated with the camp and silliness of the Silver Age and the 1960’s TV series. Leave it to Miller to remind Bat-fans how dark and brooding the Caped Crusader can be.

The Dark Knight Returns was born out of Miller’s realization that he was now older than the superhero he idolized as a boy. He presented Bruce Wayne as an aging recluse in a world where most heroes had given up or gone to ground, only for him to be spurred back into action by the spiraling state of Gotham and the yearning in his heart. Together with a new, female Robin, this hulking, grizzled Batman set about striking fear into the hearts of criminals once more.

Like much of Miller’s work on this list, The Dark Knight Returns was hugely influential. It offered a bold new take on Batman and inspired a wave of “grim and gritty” imitators. ts influence can be seen on many other interpretations of Batman, including The Dark Knight Rises and the upcoming sequel to Man of Steel sequel.

 

 

Comic books haven’t always been embraced by the mainstream. Back in the ‘80s, they were the horrible secret youngsters kept underneath their mattresses and away from parents. Then, as companies began experimenting with different genres and making these books more mature, comics slowly started getting noticed by a larger section of society. Eventually in some circles, they were hailed as fine modern literature. And the book that led this charge was Neil Gaiman’s Sandman.

Focusing on Morpheus, the god-like master of dreams, Sandman presented audiences with complex narratives and characters that were simultaneously divine and tangible. Along with his siblings, known as The Endless (which included Death, Delirium, Destruction, Destiny, Despair, and Desire), Dream (Morpheus’ alias) travels to different dimensions and time periods as his struggles often find him exploring the relationship between humans and reality.

Gaiman made sure that no two tales were alike. One story could feature a run-in with Shakespeare while the next could take place in the heart of hell. And with literary allusions and rhythmic poetry filling every page, Sandman was unlike anything that the comic book medium has seen before or since. It’s high-art conceived by a man who positively shattered an entire medium.

 

 

Watchmen is Moore’s ultimate masterpiece, a triumph of the deconstructionist and superhero genre.  The story begs the questions of what would happen if superheroes were real.  Who would be superheroes?  What kind of personal problems or motivations would make somebody dress up in a colorful outfit and fight criminals?  And what would happen if a TRUE superhero, one who had ACTUAL powers, existed in real life?  Summarizing the story of Watchmen is incredibly challenging.  To keep things as brief as possible, it is about a group of vigilantes and one superpowered god-like figure who find themselves in the middle of a conflict that could end the lives of millions of people.  Moore used the superhero genre to explore ideas of personal identity, postmodernism, and the role of power in society.

The characters, particularly the Objectivist street vigilante Rorschach and Doctor Manhattan, a scientist with god-like powers and control over matter and energy, have become touchstones within the superhero community, even though they have never been used outside of their original series.  Watchmen was also responsible for jump-starting the weakened comic book industry in the late 80s alongside the seminal The Dark Knight Returns.  It is also responsible for inadvertently changing the tone of comics to being dark, gritty, and violent for nearly a decade by cheap imitators.  The 2009 film adaptation ofWatchmen was both highly successful and incredibly controversial as it was disowned by Moore and changed the comics legendary ending.  Despite the film, Watchmen remains Moore’s crowning achievement and easily one of the greatest series in comic book history.

 

 

A book that can win over even those who think that any story told with drawings must be for kids. Art Spiegelman tells the story of his Holocaust-survivor father over two breathtakingly powerful volumes, alternating between the story of his life during World War II and his later years in the US. The book’s conceit has the Jews drawn as mice, the Nazis as cats, Americans as Beagles and so on – but it’s the human stories that come unflinchingly through that give this work its power, both in the tragedies and trauma of mankind’s darkest hour and in the smaller tribulations of a survivor’s later life.

The post 10 Graphic Novels You Need To Read Before You Die appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Top 10 Lamest Superhero Powers Of All Time

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10 . Eating Through Anything – Matter Eater Lad

Alright, so it might be neat to be able to eat anything without consequence — those late night Taco Bell trips would be a lot easier, for one. But when would you ever really have to eat through a wall though? Maybe if you’re a superhero, but it just seems like it’d be a funny thing to watch. Especially when one stops to consider the truism that what must go in must come out. Not to mention, he wasn’t a cannibal — there goes any chance of using his powers to beat up the bad guys.

 

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9. Changing the Color of Things – Color Kid

Of all powers to grant a superhero, changing the color of things is definitely not on our list of awesome. How could this even be useful? Apparently Color Kid liked to confuse his flying enemies by switching the colors of the ground and the sky, but any enemy stupid enough to fall for that would probably get creamed anyway. It might be a fun “superpower” — for a six-year-old. And really, with such a lame power, he could have at least made a better costume.

 

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8. A Trained Bumblebee Sidekick – The Red Bee

This one made our sides hurt from laughing, which is about all the damage he is capable of. The Red Bee’s shtick was beyond ridiculous — that in a fight he’d open up the little compartment in his belt, and release a single bee. Not a radioactive super bee, or an exotically poisonous one, but a regular, trained bee. It would fly out to sting his opponent, and that’s it. As if that wasn’t bad enough, his costume makes our eyes bleed.

 

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7. Compelling People to Run – Tag

Making people do things would turn out to be an interesting superpower to wield, as a general rule — but only being able to make people run? Lame. Maybe if Tag had a cliff at his disposal every time he battled an opponent, he might be successful, but that’s not the case. It might be amusing to make people run in circles or into things, but it just seems like too much hassle, and just plain silly to boot.

 

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6. Turning Into a Ball – Bouncing Boy

Bouncing Boy could turn himself into a ball by inflating himself — like Kirby. He came across his powers by accidentally drinking some plastic solution that he thought was soda pop. Well, serves him right for not paying attention, and now he’s stuck with one of the lamest superpowers ever. He has to run, err, bounceaway from all of his opponents, which is not really all that cool.

 

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5. Omnilingualism – Cypher

Cypher was a mutant with the ability to translate anything — written, spoken, or computer language. It seems like it would be one of the more bearable superpowers on the list to have in the real world, but as a superhero … not so much. How often could he have come across a chance to be useful at all? Maybe if Professor X needed a manual translated, but after deciphering stuff he’d have to completely depend on the other superheroes to do the real work — he was useless in battle.

 

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4. Turning Completely Flat – Tommy

Tommy had the ability to render herself into a two-dimensional state, taking on the shape of a piece of paper. There are only two ways we can think of to use this superpower: Giving people paper cuts or sliding under doors/through mail slots. OK, so paper cuts kind of hurt, and they’re pretty annoying, but sliding under things is pretty useless. For those not convinced, she was the first person to die in the Mutant Massacre. On the plus side, Kate Moss could always play her in a movie.

 

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3. Summoning Squirrels – Squirrel Girl

Squirrel Girl seems like early evidence of the Furry Fetish — but we digress. Summoning squirrels to aid in a fight is definitely a lame superpower, really; they couldn’t even spring for ferrets or another creature just a tad more useful than squirrels. It’d be worth it if you could summon, say, elephants, bears or tigers. Something fierce. Don’t squirrels run away from everything? Maybe Squirrel Girl’s squirrels don’t, but it’s nothing a little rodent poison wouldn’t take care of.

 

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2. Sticky Skin – Tar Baby

Besides the terrible name, Tar Baby’s superpower is incredibly lame. He had sticky skin, and could secrete some kind of adhesive. Basically everything stuck to him, which would probably be nothing more than a huge pain in the ass, don’t you think? It might come in handy at some point, maybe while shoplifting, but the clean-up and hassle of the whole thing would not be worth it.

 

1. Yelling Really Loudly – The Thunderer

During the age of anti-Nazi propaganda, The Thunderer emerged as one of the worst pro-American crime fighters. As a mild-mannered radio announcer, Jerry Carstairs (Carstairs!?) grew upset with the way America was handling Nazi jerks. As such, he assembles a costume that includes a built-in microphone. With no other powers at his command, yelling is his sole ability.

The post Top 10 Lamest Superhero Powers Of All Time appeared first on Caveman Circus.


A Tribute To Man’s Best Friend

Confessions Of A 58-Year-Old Virgin

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So, when you say you’re a virgin, how do you define that? Have you engaged in any sexual acts at all?
Nothing whatsoever, with anybody. I gave a girl a kiss on the lips when I was a kid, but it wasn’t a make-out or anything. That was before adolescence; those hormones and desires hadn’t kicked in. 

The last, and the only, time you kissed a girl was nearly 50 years ago.
Yes. 

What was your childhood like?
My father was very abusive. He was always telling me I was useless and would never amount to anything. Once I was in my grandfather’s plane at 12,000 feet and my dad was yelling such terrible things that I tried to open the door and jump out. 

Was he like that with your mother, too?
Yes, he subjected her to physical and emotional abuse. She was a homemaker and couldn’t drive because she had a lot of neurosis. My dad was a construction supervisor and didn’t stop bossing people around when was done with work. He was in the war and, according to my grandmother, he was one of the only survivors on a ship of 250 people that blew up. She says that’s when he snapped — he had to be taken home in chains. Apparently he was a nice person before that. 

Did you have siblings?
I have a much older brother and there was a baby boy who passed away before I was born. He was crying, as infants do, and my dad made mom take the crib outside in the rain and leave him there until he stopped. My dad refused to take him to the hospital and he was dead by the time the ambulance arrived. 

When your father was violent, what did he do to you?
I was such a small, skinny child and he was a strapping Marine; I didn’t even come up to his knees.  Once he accused me of stealing his bullets from a drawer. I did not steal those bullets, so I denied it, but he insisted I was lying and whipped me with a belt each time I sad no. Eventually I pretended I did it so he would stop and then he kept asking me why. I didn’t even know what “why” meant. So he whipped me more and more until I finally became so terrified I managed to jump off the table and run out onto the street, but my dad caught up and upon me like an eagle. He would confine me to my room. I read seven volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica cover to cover, over and over. There really wasn’t anything else to do. He’d wake me at 3 a.m. in the morning just to beat me and then walk away with this grin like he was doing something he enjoyed. 

Was there any sexual abuse?
Not from my father, but I did have a babysitter who tried to force me to suck his penis when I was about 3 years old. I refused and said I’ve got to go to the bathroom and slid out the window and hid in a juniper bush. 

How did you discover what sex was, or explore what bodies are like?
I found copies of Playboy under my dad’s bed. I was drawn to boobs and I liked to see women in bikinis. I saw internet stuff, but a lot that can get pretty weird so that put me off. I found I’ve never watched a pronographic movie. The closest I’ve come is Baywatch or that film Earth Girls Are Easy, but I got so bored that I fell asleep halfway through. Actually, now that I think about it, I remember when I was a teenager I saw a man giving a woman oral sex while watching a movie at a drive-through. 

Have you ever seen a woman naked, in real life?
When I was in my 20s, I lived by a lake and I saw some skinny dippers, but I didn’t talk to them because I didn’t think they’d be interested in me. I saw them walking on the road, but they were out of shape.  I did see some better-looking ones, but I could only see their breasts. It wasn’t as if I went to watch them, I just happened on them.

What fueled your sexual fantasies?
Not those women, but the ones I had seen on the internet. Sometimes I would imagine myself having sex or holding a cute person I knew.  But I don’t masturbate these days because it just causes misery and suffering. Also, I think I’ve got to the point where I no longer have much of a libido. My sex drive is just about gone. 

When you were younger, did you fantasize about having sex a lot?
Of course.  

How often did you masturbate?
Every second or third day. Sometimes I would go a week or a week and a half. I never had any problems reaching an orgasm. 

What sort of women are you attracted to?
I find the woman from Ghost very good-looking. I used to find that gal that played the bionic woman cute, too. 

Is sex on your mind a lot?
Up until about five years ago, yes, and it was absolute torture. When I was younger, I’d lay there hour after hour burning with passion. It was like your hormones dictated your thoughts and they were stronger than I was. I recently said a little prayer and decided to stop thinking about it; also, as I said, my sex drive has diminished as I’ve gotten older. 

What faith are you? Did you grow up religious?
No, I got baptized in my 20s. I moved in with my grandparents, to get away from my dad. They had little cabin by the river. It was beautiful; it reminded me of the Katharine Hepburn film On Golden Pond. There was fishing and gold panning. My grandmother introduced me to religion. Even though I’m religious, that’s not really what’s stopped me from having sex. When people ask me why I’m a virgin, I tell them I suffer from terminal ugliness. I have an eye that doesn’t line up with the other one. I’d probably look better if I wore a pirate patch.

What was your social life like when you were growing up?
I had some friends, but I was beat up a lot because of how I looked. I was a rail-thin nerd; I’d stuff cardboard in my shoes to make myself taller and my left eye is messed up. I was afraid to sleep when my father was around, so I was always exhausted. One time I fell asleep sitting up and smashed my eye on a knob on the bedpost. It severed a nerve that closed my pupil. The pain was so extreme I couldn’t face the sun even with my eyes closed because it hurt so much. I had to walk around with my head tilted.   

What did you do when you left school?
It was almost impossible for me to get a job when I was younger. I don’t have the kind of face that attracts people to want to hire me. I lived with my grandmother up until I was about 30 and I really felt trapped, lonely with no way out. I got a job as a telemarketer but quit when I figured out it was a scam, so I did some construction work before going to college to study computer programming when I was 32. 

So you were a 32-year-old college student who was a virgin? What was campus life like?
It was hell. Everyone was enjoying spending time with women and I felt invisible. If I got attracted to a woman, my mind would just go blank and I couldn’t think of anything to say. Typical nerd. I felt like a freak. Everybody was getting something and I wasn’t. There was a time where I was just getting so inflamed and lonely I would have done it with anyone who offered.  

Did you date or have girlfriends?
I’ve only ever been on one date and I have never been in a relationship.

What was that date like?
We went to La Comida, Mexican restaurant. I used to call it La “Crumeda” because the food was a joke. You only eat there if you are poor. I could tell she was bored with me, so I was too scared to broach the subject of sex. I think she only went on the date with me to be nice. When I was in my 30s, I made friends with a woman who worked at an A&W. I’d watch her as she served customers and she seemed supremely unhappy. She was probably about five foot six, with long blonde hair and a sweet smile, but her sadness was written all over her face. I saw her in that state of abject misery for years. All I know is her husband wasn’t faithful to her. He left and she had two kids to look after all alone.

One day she told me she really liked me because I was easy to talk to. I expressed my interest but that just scared her off. I guess I’m glad it didn’t happen because I wasn’t financially stable and I wouldn’t have been able to support her and that would have caused a whole lot of worry. Back then I didn’t realize how lacking I am in the skills it takes to make a partner happy. There was another friend I was interested in who I thought liked me but there was another woman I’d met and become friends with who lived Portland. I found a job and moved, but when I arrived she didn’t want to see me. I don’t necessarily blame her. I might have come on too strong.

How so?
She was sitting next to me and I was leaning into her too much. If only I’d been more aware of how she might feel. I don’t really blame her; I blame myself. So, out of a misguided sense of loyalty for someone who was just playing me for the fool, I missed out on both women. I wish I’d known the situation up there and reciprocated with the one who actually liked me. I tried calling her when I got back, but I was just too shy to be direct about what I wanted. 

Do you think it’s harder trying to lose your virginity if you’re a man because you have to initiate?
I think so. Women either think I’m going too slow or too fast and I can’t seem to find an in between. 

What happens when you try to talk to women?
My mind just goes blank. There’s nothing I can think to say. 

Did you have trouble knowing when a woman is interested?
I had a friend at college who pointed out that this girl liked me. He said you could tell by the way she crossed her legs when she was talking to me.  “She wants you,” but I had no idea. There was another time I was at the beach by the river talking to this girl who was wearing a bikini that was a few sizes too big for her, kind of showing me her breasts. I should have realized she was interested in me. I probably would have gone for it if I had really known at the time that she was indicating that she wanted to have sex. But I didn’t do anything. 

Did you ever think of just asking a friend to have sex with you so you could have the experience?
When I was about 15, I did ask a girl, but she said, “No, my mom won’t allow it” and she wasn’t going to have sex until she was a responsible adult. 

But what about when you were older, did you ever think about seeing a prostitute?
In the past, I thought about it, but I told myself, What’s going to happen if I pay for sex and just have it once? It will just be worse because I’ll know what it’s like and then I’ll want more, like having a taste of a fine steak and then learning you will only get to eat hard beans and drink water for the rest of your life. 

Do you work at the moment?
No. I have problems with my back and my legs, so I’m just waiting to get a decision on my disability. I’m staying in my friend’s trailer. I have about $500 left. I don’t have to pay him any rent, though, or utilities.

What do you usually do during the day?
I watch Netflix and play around on the internet. Typically I check out Facebook first thing in the morning. I have a lot of friends, but they’re not intimate friends. I made a Tesla Coil like Nikola Tesla; it creates lightning that looks like what comes off the emperor’s fingers in Star Wars.

Is it fair to say that you’re scared of having sex?
I think so. I worry if I will be able to bring pleasure to my mate? Will I be a complete drag? I’m scared of getting rejected afterwards and also just not knowing what to do. I might not measure up to her expectations. I think there must be some sort of learning curve involved in it before it becomes fun. Any activity requires practice before you are really going to enjoy it.

Do you think you have a fear of relationships as well?
Yes. I’ve seen firsthand how bad marriage can be. So many people are just focused on their own needs. I consider myself damaged enough, emotionally, to never be able to function in a relationship. I think you need a certain amount of stability to cope with the dynamics.  I can’t handle harsh criticism and lack the social skills to relate to another person intimately. I have such low self-esteem; I can’t take it when someone says something mean to me. 

Have you felt lonely your whole life?
Yes, except when I consciously stopped thinking about sex. Before that, I’d often wish that I would simply go to sleep and not wake up. I guess there are still times where I feel that way. I live a fairly drab life in a little trailer in a place called Paradise, California. I have no mate. I have no car. I have financial worries. There’s really nobody to talk to. I can get on the phone and share little events about my life, but there’s nobody right here with me. 

What about kids, is that something that you wanted?
It’s good I didn’t have kids because I’m scared I’ll end up treating them like my dad treated me. 

Do you think there’s something deep inside you that’s stopping you from having sex or pursuing a relationship?
I think it’s the fear of knowing people don’t find me attractive. I had one woman tell me she thought I was cute, but that was about 10 or 15 years ago when I didn’t look like an old man. I have this story I tell people. I saw this guy and he was a train wreck. He had this white balding head, an eye that wandered off to the side, and a crazed look in his eyes. I tried angling away from him because those kinds of people make me nervous. The more I angled away the more he angled towards me … Don’t you hate mirrors? I laugh at myself like that. 

If you really feel like your physical appearance is standing in the way, have you thought about ways you could change that?
I don’t have the money. But really, the biggest problem is that I’m so shy around the opposite sex. Women are attracted to confident guys and I am not confident. I end up friend-zoned. It infuriates me when I see some stunning gal who I would treat like a queen and she’s in a relationship with some knuckle-dragging jackass. I always get told, “Oh,  you’re so sweet.” Well, sweet doesn’t cut it.  

What’s the hardest part about being a 58-year-old-virgin?
Laying alone at night, falling asleep and then getting up in the morning and remembering you’re alone. It’s like waking up to the same nightmare every single day.

The post Confessions Of A 58-Year-Old Virgin appeared first on Caveman Circus.

The Dumping Grounds

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The Karate Kid: Daniel is the REAL Bully

 

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How to tell if a business is a pyramid scheme

 

American F-16 dodges six Iraqi missiles during the Gulf War, the stress the pilots are under is unbelievable

 

Starving North Korean Girl…Girl was found a month later dead in a field

 

The post The Dumping Grounds appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Awesome Stuff Around The Internet

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The 50 Best Good Bad Movies – The Ringer

How Cult Leaders Brainwash Followers For Total Control – Aeon

Hot Instagram Pictures Of Diana Melison – Linkiest

A Massive Collection of Nazi Artifacts Was Just Discovered In Argentina – Ranker

An Interview with Supermodel Isabeli Fontana – Marysia

Why Gal Gadot Was Paid Only $300,000 for Wonder Woman – Vulture

A damn fine collection of bewbs, awesomeness and everything in between – Leenks

A Bikini-Clad Ariel Winter Posed for Sultry Pics on a Pizza Slice Pool Float, and Our Mouths Are Watering – Maxim

Danish Model Josephine Skriver Is Pretty Damn Perfect – Mandatory

Summer Brings Out The Best In Sideboobs (42 Photos) – Radass

Otto Warmbier, the American student who was just released from North Korea, has died – Rare

Bella Thorne Puts On An EDC Festival Show – Hollywood Tuna

Horse Gets Tailored Three-Piece Suit, Looks Absolutely Dashing – Sad And Useless

Huge Bouncer Destroys Drunk Little Guy – Trending Views

Daniel Day-Lewis Is Retiring From Acting – Newser

Conor McGregor’s Old Sparring Partner Doesn’t Like His Chances Vs. Floyd Mayweather – The Blemish

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Hot Instagram Babe Of The Day: Melanie Iglesias

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