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Jiu-Jitsu blackbelt signs up for his ‘first class’

Undercover Karaoke with Jewel

Eminem smurfing as a nobody LL Cool J fan

Gordon Ramsay disguises as an old man in a cooking class

Professional gamer plays as streamer’s brother on his birthday

Professional driver pranks driving instructors

Professional Skater Danny Leon dresses up like an old man and goes to the skate park

Adele goes undercover and enters an Adele impersonator competition

Rapper goes in the hood pretends he is a “nerd” but in fact drops some crazy lines

V8 Supercar legend Greg Murphy goes under cover as “Barry Ford” to take Rugby league champ Cam Smith on an drive

The post Smurfing – A Celebrity Or Professional Pretending To Be An Amateur Usually Under Disguise appeared first on Caveman Circus.

The Federal Trade Commission says four cancer charities run by extended members of the same family conned donors out of $187 million from 2008 through 2012 and spent almost nothing to help actual cancer patients. (Article)

The Cancer Fund of America is run by James Reynolds Sr.
His son James Reynolds Jr. is the CEO of the Breast Cancer Society.
Another charity, the Children’s Cancer Fund of America, run by Rose Perkins, ex-wife of the elder James Reynolds
James Reynolds, He’s also the CEO of the fourth charity, Cancer Support Services.

Related: The 10 Worst Charities To Donate To

Tami Erin, the actress who played Pippi Longstocking in 1988, sold a sex tape after her ex-boyfriend threatened to profit from it. (Go to pornhub, type her name in and bam!)

Estonian ID cards have a chip with public-private key pair used to sign documents and vote in elections via the internet. For their 2011 election, 24% of the votes were cast online.

Pearl Jam cancelled their 1994 summer tour after they found out Ticket Master was demanding a ‘service charge’ for fan’s tickets. This prompted the band to begin building their own “stadiums” in rural areas where they independently sold tickets to shows to keep prices low

Kid Rock demanded ticket prices for his 2013 tour be set at $20 and beers be $4 for a 12 ounce. He also withheld at least 1000 tickets a night that could not go to ticket master. (article)

A Catholic Priest in Brazil tried to raise money for charity by taking to the sky strapped to a chair and 1,000 helium balloons, got to 20,000 feet and then realized he didn’t know how to use his GPS, went missing, and two months later was found dead 100km out to sea. (en.wikipedia.org)

Abstract paintings by a previously unknown artist “Pierre Brassau” were exhibited at a gallery in Sweden, earning praise for his “powerful brushstrokes” and the “delicacy of a ballet dancer”. None knew that Pierre Brassau was actually a 4 year old chimp from the local zoo.

 Fred Phelps was excommunicated from Westboro Baptist Church before his death for having a change of heart about his religious beliefs and acknowledging the “Equality House,” a local LGBT support organization, as “good people.” 

In 2007, a Bowhead whale was discovered with the end of a harpoon left embedded in its neck from a previous hunt. It was found that the harpoon tip was originally manufactured in 1890, indicating the whale had survived a human attack more than a century ago. 

Here is a pic of the bomb lance fragment (patented in 1879!) that was removed from the neck of the bowhead (article)

The whale had a bomb lance fragment lodged a bone between its neck and shoulder blade. The fragment was likely manufactured in New Bedford, on the southeast coast of Massachusetts, a major whaling center at that time, Bockstoce said.

RollerCoaster Tycoon was originally created by Chris Sawyer as an excuse to visit theme parks and “research” roller coasters. He also wrote the game by himself in assembly language, which is basically like building a house by yourself using glue and toothpicks.

The FDIC strongly encourages mandatory two-week paid vacations for bankers because it is difficult to conceal embezzlement for that long while away from work (article)

Frank Abagnale (of Catch Me if You Can fame) wrote in The Art of the Steal about this. Fraudsters are likely to be the employees with the most consistent attendance, due to their fear of getting caught while out of the office.

Rap Artist Nelly Has Sent Two Kids To College Every Year For The Past 10 Years (article)

In 2014 Charles Manson was granted a marriage license, but the wedding was cancelled after it was discovered that 26 year old Afton Elaine “Star” Burton only wanted to marry Manson so she and a friend Craig “Gray Wolf” Hammond could use his corpse as a tourist attraction after he dies 

A man once jumped into alligator infested waters, screamed “F*ck you alligators” and was subsequently eaten alive (article)

Some people’s purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

The post Feed Your Brain With These Fascinating Facts appeared first on Caveman Circus.

1. I was using pretty heavy at the time and was desperate for some quick cash so I met a guy on craigslist who was really into scat. I shit on him and let him shit on me for $100. He was pretty well off so it was a reoccurring thing that probably happened about 2 times a week for almost 8 months.

2. A friend’s mom had a brain aneurysm about a year ago. She and her husband had about 300k in a safe in their basement (don’t know why they had that much). She was in a coma and wasn’t given long to live and her husband had been putting off the hospital bills or paying the minimum out of their bank account until she was out of there. Unfortunately she passed away 6 months later. When it came time for the funeral, the dad went to open the safe to find no money in it. The heroin addict daughter had gotten into the safe around the time when her mom went into the coma and spent the 300k that was going to be used for the bills and funeral on heroin. They couldn’t afford to have a funeral and could barely afford to get her cremated because of this. The dad got laid off and now has to sell his wife’s dream house because of addict daughter..

3. I stole from my family; antiques from my grandma and money from my mom and dad. Stole pills from my mom. Beat the shit out a close friend for not paying me when she was due to (I’m a girl too). I would pop any ppl anyone would give me.

The worst has got to be the sexual stuff. I was dating my dealer for a while and even after we broke up I basically gave him sexual rights to me anytime, anywhere as long as I still got oxy. After I moved I started hooking up with a new guy who sold, but not oxy. He ended up fucking me and paying for my drugs which led to me fucking for drugs pretty often. He would let his friends fuck me and I participated in multiple threesomes and orgies with the promise of money or drugs at the end.

I vividly remember being sandwiched between two guys both fucking me in a hole and broke down crying because of how disgusting I found myself.

4. When my boyfriend was out of the country for two weeks, I pawned literally everything of worth in his house, including the vacuum cleaner. My thought was that two weeks was more than enough time to make enough money blowing guys from Craigslist to get all the stuff out of pawn by the time he got back. I spent it all on heroin and coke. It was the night before he was arriving and I, of course, was unable to get any of his stuff out of pawn. So I staged a robbery by breaking one of his windows and leaving the door ajar. I picked him up at the airport, arrived at the house and acted as surprised as him when we discovered all his stuff was gone. Made a false police report and even gave a fake interview to the local paper. I blamed it on a nonexistent gardener who I said I saw snooping around the place. The worst part is that this was right before Christmas, so I told my boyfriend “they” had also stolen $200 in Christmas gifts I had bought. He gave me $200 cash because he felt bad. I was a total piece of shit. Bright side? Rehab finally worked and I just celebrated 3 years of sobriety yesterday! I’m not with the guy anymore. Also, I’m a guy.

5. Several years back, my uncle passed away. He was a self made man; built his own fishing company, and started raising oysters. He was like the jolly lumberjack of the ocean. He lived in the water, for fishing, and was just one of the funniest and happy fishermen I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. The oyster business got big, and they were happy. Tragically there was a freak accident with the air supply when he was underwater and he died.

Now his son, has been in and out of trouble with the law since he was a teenager, and had been getting into heroin. By the time his father died, it had come to dominate his life. Most of the family never knew where he was, what he was up to. Well, my uncle decided to leave his company, and the incredibly valuable oyster beds, to his two kids (a son, and a daughter who at the time had just been married, with one kid and another on the way). Needless to say the daughter had every intention of taking over her fathers business. However, the son, needing more money and seeing an opportunity, sold the company to one of his father’s rival fishing/oyster companies after forging his sister’s name on the deed/docs. For, I think, around ~$30,000, which is WAY undervalued. The sister and aunt found out from the folks who bought the company. They still have all the property.

My aunt and sister never pressed charges because they didn’t want anything bad to happen to the son, and I they were still deep in mourning.

He’s clean now, and living in a sober house. Still an unimaginable blow to the family though, and from what I understand, financially crippling.

6. There was this gross fat guy who owned a music venue/club in my home city who paid young indie-rock looking guys $500 a pop to jerk off in front of him. Did that a couple of times. At least I didn’t have to touch him or have him touch me.

7. My favorite drug always has been and always will be meth. I have been clean for 10 years, but I still want it.

When I spent all the money I had on it, I started stealing from my friends and family. Pretty soon, I didn’t have those people around either. I needed new income, so I started selling cocaine. I saw what my product did to people that was taking it. I didn’t care.

I learned how to make crack and sold that too. I saw an high school friend and I gave him a sample. He came back the next day and the next and the next. I got him hooked and I ruined his life. He dropped out of college and started stealing from his parents. I still got paid and was able to get more meth.

I saw him this summer, he switched to heroin a few years ago. He is nothing but skin and bones and is a repeat offender. He actually thanked me for introducing him to drugs. He said without me, his mind wouldn’t be free like it is now. His parents cut of all contact after he stole everything that wasn’t bolted down.

I destroyed an entire family. All because I wanted the next high.

8. I’ve been creeping on reddit for almost a year now and recently decided to make an account but I never comment on anything and I feel like this is the most appropriate first comment for me. I’m 23 and have been using iv heroin since my 17th birthday. I’ve gone to multiple rehabs, halfway houses and different states to get clean. I’ve done some extremely bad things I’m not proud of but its my truth, my reality that I have to remind myself of on a daily basis. Ive pawned every piece of gold or jewelry in my parents house, the majority of it during my mom’s open heart surgery which had devastated her when she was well enough to see what was missing. A lot of it was her mother’s who died almost 20 years ago and really all she had left of her. I live near a lot ofy family and used to unlock windows and later break in and steal anything of importance. I had written many fraudulent checks that belonged to my parents which the bank had caught up with. I didn’t even try hard to match the signature, it was so sloppy and desperate now looking back. Now I’ve done every type of prostitution that could ever be imagined.

From being homeless and literally tricking on the street to seeing sugar daddies to ‘highclass hooking’ as an escort on backpage ads and was a stripper off and on for years. I’ve been paid from $20 to $3000, pretty obvious which paid which. I actually had no problem with the sugar daddies because they were always kind and respectable or were paying me enough to do whatever insane fetish they were into. I’ve gotten paid thousands for three somes with other hot chicks and a grand to have olive oil rubbed all over me. The hardest blow to the diminished ego that was somewhat left was when I started tricking. I was living in abandoned houses or with different johns or drug dealers that I would hope and pray weren’t going to rape me that night. Sometimes I wasn’t so lucky.

I’ve done lots of other terrible things that I could list for hours, literally. I’ve been raped, stabbed, jumped, abused by so many people before and during active addiction, overdosed, committed and been in many programs. By some miracle I have never, ever had an std or any type of infection, last time around I swore I had to have gotten HIV because of how low I had gone and the disgusting men I was sleeping with. I have no kids as well.

I don’t blame anyone but myself for my actions and today take full responsibility for everything I’ve done and have slowly been trying to financially reimburse those I hurt so very deeply, back. I was a complete monster back then and used to accept my fate dying a junkie on the street and used to almost be comfortable with that. I am not the person I was a year and a half ago. It took me getting raped, a gun to my head, getting stabbed and a trip to jail. All of these events occurring in a few hours and were done to me by a dopeboy I was staying with. I had been arrested many times but never actually did time until that. My parents reluctantly bailed me out and sent me back to Florida for rehab.

I haven’t touched dope since. Today I’m a decently productive member of society, I have a great job, I’m super close with my family, have my own apartment, car and cat. I pay all my bills myself and am super independent, after everyone I’ve used or taken money from this is a huge thing for me.

9. My white-trash west virginia cousin used to go to gay clubs, let some guy pick him up, and then beat them up rob them when he got back to the guys house. He eventually had his picture up on all the gay bars in his town, and almost got shot by a guy he was trying to rob. Meth is a hulluva drug.

10. Alcoholic checking in here, I used to wait for my wife to get in the shower at night and them stumble down my unlit half paved street in my sweatpants and slippers in the rain to the corner liquor store, buy a bottle of cheap rot gut vodka, and then down the whole thing before she was done. She never knew I left the house. I know it’s not sucking dick or anything but I did it a lot and it was pretty low.

11. When I was in heavy addiction/drinking I stole both of my young daughters money from their piggy banks to spend on dope. Some of the money was even their “first money” given to them as mementos from their grandparents. Holy shit did I feel awful about that, especially during the times of when I was still using .

I can still feel the guilt and pain of sneaking into each of their rooms whole they slept, and very slowly and carefully, grabbing their piggy bank and holding it really tight so as to muffle the sound of clanging change shuffling against the sides of the piggy bank with each step as I exited the room. Then slowly and methodically going into another room and retrieving the paper money. Then, once again, going to the other daughters room and repeating the process, All the while nervous that my wife(ex wife now) would hear me. It is in moments like those when you realize just how quiet your house is. It’s an awful feeling. But the following day(s) when I wasn’t using felt even worse.

I’ve since gotten clean. Its taken a while, but I have forgiven myself. I was entitled to the full amount of emotional retribution that followed, however, I eventually stopped beating myself up over it. I’ve made my peace with myself, but especially with them. I will always be making a “living amends” to them to be the best dad I can be, a clean and sober dad, and a dad they deserve to have. That is my sentence. They are being repaid with more than just the money I stole. They’ve been given a responsible dad in return. And I’ve been given a new life.

(via)

The post 11 Addicts And Former Addicts Reveal The Worst Thing They Ever Did To Get A Fix appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Blasting a pedophile into space

Gamer discovers a cheat code in Mortal Kombat 1, 2 & 3 that opens a long rumored menu of 20+ years old. Included in the options are a game of Galaga and a personal message by Ed Boon.

The Fastest Martial Artist In The World Throws Punches & Disarms With Quickness!

Ronda Rousey in a local BJJ tournament

Trash Talk Galore: Conor McGregor vs Nate Diaz Press Conference

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Inside the Decadent Lifestyles of Rich Russian Kids – Maxim

21 Reasons Why You Should Appreciate Your Dog More! – Ned Hardy

Meet the $100K-a-Year Garbage Collectors – Newser

Caveman’s Hot Picks Of The Day – Caveman Afterdark

6 Insane Prejudices People Have Based On How You Talk – Linkiest

Ranking the Top Five Ridley Scott Films of All-Time – TV Overmind

5 Eating Mistakes Guys Don’t Realize They’re Making – Playboy

Everything You’ve Ever Wanted to Know About Taylor Swift’s Sex Life – Ranker

Four security cameras captured a tornado passing through Louisiana, and video footage doesn’t get more intense than this – Rare

10 Greatest Technical Wrestlers Of All Time – What Culture

What These Kids Discovered Left By Their Grandpa Over 50 Years Ago Is Unreal… And Worth More Than $15 Million – Slip Talk

Katrina Bowden getting her fitness on – Drunken Stepfather

Ruthless Companies Who Lied, Spammed, and Deceived Users to Grow Their Company in The Early Days – The Hustle

Kid Uses Teacher for Sex and Xboxes, Then Ends up Suing Her – The Blemish

Prepare for a Financial 9/11 – Wall Street Daily

Some Samantha Hoopes 2016 SI Swimsuit Goodness – G-Celeb

Cleavage, cleavage and more cleavage – Radass

42 Pics of Sinful Japanese Girls – Regretful Morning

Hot girl flashing a perfect pair in a restaurant (nsfw) – Ehowa

So F’n Metal – Tosh

The Rappers’ Guide to Eating and Drinking in Strip Clubs – First We Feast

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Returning a rental car

When the guy in the group project who did nothing gets the same grade as everyone else

When I’m watching porn and my roommate walks in

When my sister says her boyfriend loves her so much that he’s no longer attracted to other girls

When my date tells me her favorite show is The Big Bang Theory

My wife’s reaction when I tried to use Harden but it failed 

When I’m eating in my car and make eye contact with a homeless man holding a “hungry, anything helps” sign 

When I’m learning to drive stick shift and I’m stopped on an uphill red light.

When I have to repeat myself to my mom after the 3rd time 

When a lady I work with has been married/divorced 4 times and constantly slams her Ex’s. 

When I saw Google Fiber trucks burying lines by my house

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Cheerleader Asks Boy With Autism To Prom. 

Mikal Bartosik had already been to prom twice before, so for her senior year, she wanted it to be different — something special. Mikal started spending lunches with Jonathan, who goes by JMR, and other students from his special-education class long before she decided to ask him to the prom. After she realized not only how badly JMR wanted to attend the dance, but also that none of Park Vista’s special-education students attended last year’s prom, she became determined to execute her plan.

John Cena has grated over 500 Make-A-Wish wishes!

This Dog Was Locked In A Small Box Her Whole Life

Thankfully, an amazing group of rescue workers came into the picture and took Sarah away from those miserable conditions. Sarah will never be alone again.

Pure Happiness

Police officer stops traffic to help a kitten stuck in the road 

Jon Stewart and his wife have opened up a sanctuary to help rescue farmed animals. Here he is welcoming some of the new residents to the sanctuary! 

So, Paramore invite a fan on to the stage to sing ‘Misery Business’ and this happens. Good guys Paramore

Pug Completely Loses It When He Realizes He’s Going In PetSmart

According to his owner, Captain the pug LOVES going to PetSmart more than anything. So he decided to film it…

Good samaritans save woman from jumping off a bridge

Good Guy Keeanu Gives Up His Seat For A Woman

Soccer players from both teams come together to help downed player

Strangers react perfectly to girl being bullied at bus stop in social experiment

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Bompton with Kendrick Lamar (NOISEY Episode 1)

Mega Man 2 – Dr. Wily Stage – Mariachi Cover

Joel & Ethan Coen – Shot | Reverse Shot

Someone Edited An Emotional ASPCA Commercial With Clips Of Robots Being Abused

Eat Like A Local With Andy Roy

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Kids Comfort Shelter Dogs by Reading to Them – Ned Hardy

Pamela Anderson Bares All, Goes Brunette For Retro Paper Mag Spread – Maxim

This ‘Miserable Men’ Instagram Is Literally Every Man Waiting On A Woman – Linkiest

The 10 Happiest Places in the US – Newser

The Most Stunning Naturally Busty Models – Ranker

How To Ignore The Asshole In Your Mind – Medium

This Huge Mansion Is For Sale For Nearly Nothing But No One Is Buying It For A Very Haunting Reason – Slip Talk

6 Style Trends From the 90s That Should Never Be Brought Back – Playboy

Maika Monroe is Gonna Be Big (30 Photos) – Radass

80s Nintendo Commercials That Will Fill you With Nostalgia – TV Overmind

Caveman’s Hot Picks Of The Day – Caveman Afterdark

Super tight body on this girl! (nsfw) – Ehowa

Teen thief has ARM RIPPED OFF by robbery victim – Trending Views

Ex-CIA officer releases 101 spy secrets he learned in 6 years at the CIA – Spy Secrets

Your smoking hot Emily Ratajakowski picture of the day – Drunken Stepfather

Katy Perry looking damn fine while performing – G-Celeb

40 Drool-Worthy Pics Of Natalia Vodianova – Regretful Morning

Kelly Rohrbach working out on the beach in Miami – Celeb Slam

Awesome body hacks you could use to enhance your life (17 Photos) – Bad Sentinel

This new grocery store concept in Denmark found a brilliant way to profit from a huge waste – Business Insider

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Instagram

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3D printed ultrasound for blind expectant mother

40 years ago, NASA sent a message to aliens — here’s what it says.

Bugatti employee working with a Veyron engine

This is how Uruguayans wait in line in 93°F weather

The good old days before vaccines ruined our children

Disney’s FaceDirector let’s directors change facial expression post production

Bike thieves are wrapping tape around bars that have been pre-cut

Something for all dog owners to consider

What is Gained When Tipping is Eliminated

A young Carrie Fisher with her mother Debbie Reynolds

John Travolta’s house 

Osama Bin Laden at Oxford in 1971

Tianhe-2, current title holder of worlds most powerful supercomputer

Injured Toucan receives a 3D printed beak

Scientists have discovered a way to bring a heart back to life for use in transplants. 

a kilogram of coke in the belly.

Hand of Michael Strahan’s, ex NFL player who played as Defensive End for 15 years

LeBron James’ Foot

How Amazon Fulfillment Works

Soldiers coming home 

Richest Europeans by country 

Steph Curry hits a deep 3 pointer to win the game in OT…I’m convinced he sold his soul to the devil for his basketball skills

A graph which show how much Steph Curry has broken the game of basketball.

The post A Damn Fine Collection Of Fascinating Photos And Videos appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Shinya Aoki snaps dude arm with standing armbar

Genki Sudo submits 7 people in a Jiu-Jitsu tournament

Caio Terra narrates a roll with a purple belt

Paulo Miyao vs Blue Belt

Royce Gracie choked unconcious by Wallid Ismail

Awesome single leg counter

Crazy Flying Armbar

Jacare’s jiu-jitsu flow

Marcelo Garcia vs Dillon Danis

Firas Zahabi MMA vs BJJ Ground And Pound Experiment

Follow Shokunin on Facebook and Instagram for more awesome Jiu-Jitsu videos and techniques

The post The Art Of Jiu-Jitsu Presented By Shokunin appeared first on Caveman Circus.

1.  My father-in-law’s ex-wife has been living with someone for 7 years. They wear rings on their wedding fingers. When the boyfriend was in  the hospital, he listed her on the hospital records as his wife, they are each other’s  beneficiary in case of death, and the list goes on.  “My father-in-law pays her $3000 per month – 50 percent of his income. In the divorce, she  received 100 percent of his retirement ($150,000), which she has spent, and is the sole  beneficiary of his $1 million life insurance policy, even though he has remarried. After her  son turned 18 and the child support ended, she took him back to court and had the child  support rolled into alimony. “She would not settle for a reduction of alimony, so based on F.S. 61. 14 [the new  cohabitation law], they went to court. My husband and his brother testified. We watch him  struggle while she goes on extravagant vacations (California, Vegas, and a 5-day cruise – all  in 4 months). She had a brand-new home built and then remodeled. Her boyfriend’s Crown  Victoria is paid for. She makes $11 per hour working 25-30 hours a week. The boyfriend  makes $30,000. The ruling went to the ex-wife. So he is still paying $3000 a month and  now he is responsible for her attorney’s fees, $10,000. This poor man is supporting not only his ex-wife but her boyfriend, and the courts are allowing it.”

2. I was divorced in 2008 and we split our retirement funds 50/50, yet I have to pay indefinite alimony. I just don’t get it. When I retire I will probably have $2000/month from Social Security and $2000/month from my retirement fund. My ex-wife will probably be in the same situation. So I give her $2050/month and she has $6050/month total and I have $1950. Where is the fairness in that?

My wife ran a successful software consultancy business for several years, but just before we divorced she re-trained as a teacher. Our earning capacities are similar, but I have to pay to “support her in the lifestyle to which she is accustomed”, even though her full time income is sufficient for her to live a comfortable lifestyle and she could easily earn significantly more that she is earning today.

Last year I lost my job, so I went back to the courts to get my alimony modified. I expected that it would be suspended until I got a new job; but instead the judge lowered the alimony slightly so that the sum of the alimony, child support, and life insurance required to cover the alimony was the same as my unemployment check. So she gets $4000 of her own income plus $1550 in alimony, while I get nothing. I am desperately looking for a new job before my cash runs out. My ex is also trying to get my new girlfriend to pay her the alimony too. What obligation should my new girlfriend have to pay my ex-wife? I guess in Oregon they consider “household income”. Ridiculous.

At a time when I am out of work and concerned how I am going to make my next mortgage payment, I am forced to continue to pay alimony. To add to the problem, my request for modification was both time consuming and costly, taking several months and, so far, over $17,000 in legal fees.

3. I have 5 children who, in 1982, were ages 5 through 12, all girls. The  oldest girl lost her sight between her 6th and 8th birthday. The children’s mother took off and essentially deserted them, seeking fame and notoriety in Washington D.C. “The court that granted me custody of my 5 children also ordered me to pay permanent  lifetime alimony. The children’s mother was not required to pay any child support despite  the fact that she had a good job in D.C. “I went back to court and asked for child support but it was turned down – and – to add  insult to injury, I was ordered to pay opposing lawyer’s fees. “Then the children’s mother petitioned for custody, alleging change in circumstances. The  children and I were tossed around by the court and lawyers. The final outcome was that the  petition was denied. The judge commented that the children were all well mannered, well dressed, did excellent in school and were in an excellent environment for their education. The judge also commented that the children spent many hours of quality time with their father. “The children’s mother chose not to honor the court ordered visitation schedule.“When the youngest reached 18, I was again hauled into court for more alimony on the  pretence that I no longer was responsible for the children, so more money would be  available as alimony. After 3 years of court hearings, the petition was turned down but I  was stuck with about $85,000 in attorney fees for both sides. “Now, 28 years later, the children all on their own, and I am still … forced to pay alimony … to a capable woman, a woman who in 1986 was a candidate for Lieutenant Governor for  the State of Florida. She told the people of Florida that she was capable and qualified to be  their governor but told the court that she could not take care of herself. The present system permits this.”

4. I was ordered to pay $1190 in child support (3 children), $100 in periodic payment alimony, and my ex-wife is entitled to 37.5 percent of my Marine Corps Retirement. I defended my county for 20 years in Beirut, Bosnia, the first Gulf War and throughout the world. “The judge ordered that when each child turns 18, their portion of the child support converts to alimony, which 20 or so attorneys I consulted had never heard of. Also, after  she gets the 37.5 percent of my retirement check, the remaining 62.5 percent gets thrown back into the ‘Pot of Money’ the judge used to determine the child support and alimony, so that she will be getting more than the 37.5 percent that our lawmakers allow her to get under the Uniform Services Former Spouse Protection Act. “My ex-wife had work history in the insurance industry, an Associates Degree, and she  chooses to continue to work for a paltry $7.50 an hour.

5. The amount I am transferring to my ex wife is over 40% of my income.  This is in addition to the several thousands of dollars that I paid her at the time of my divorce, money that I had to borrow and still owe. Once alimony, taxes, and insurance are deducted from my paychecks, my net income leaves me with barely enough to cover my modest mortgage and living expenses.  Our original alimony agreement was created in order to ensure financial equity between our households.  I agreed to the exorbitant amount to benefit my children who spend 50% of their time with their mother.  I’ve worked very hard to further my career and made much advancement over the last four years.  My x-wife has taken advantage of my hard work and has chosen to work at a job well below her qualifications, with the dual degrees she holds.   Because of our “equity” agreement, the less she chooses to earn, the more I have to pay. 
When my income decreased during 2010, I approached my x-wife, in good faith, to work with me to seek a modification that would keep our households equitable.  Her response to my request for mediation has been to string me along for months with promises of an attempt to seek equality, while she was instead retaining a lawyer and has now threatened to sue me for an additional 60,000.  
I have fallen in love with a woman and want to marry but – because of the amount of money I have to pay can’t afford to buy a home, or even refinance the current small home I have.  Because we live in Oregon, we can’t live together or marry without putting her at risk of having my x-wife seek to take her income as she does mine.  I have NO disposable income to extend beyond my basic living expenses, so while my x-wife is taking frequent trips, working at an “easy” job, and saving for her retirement, I have no retirement, my sons have no college fund, and I am living pay check to pay check.

6. I have given my ex approx. a quarter of a million dollars in the last 2 and 1/2 years, and still I pay alimony, monthly, for life.

I gave her already half my IRA, she will get 1/2 my retirement when I retire, and I bought her a house which she has sold and made 160,000 dollars on.

In the last 2 years she has been living with her boyfriend working under-employed as a part time secretary at a hospital so as to only get minimum wage and health care benefits.  Prior to divorce she had worked for approx. 20 years a full time medical transcriptionist making almost as much as me.

7. My ex-wife had an affair. While the court would not recognize it despite the testified evidence of numerous late night phone calls to his place of work, the suspicious “picnic lunches” at a location hours away from town, etc, an affair took place for almost a year. Without knowing all of this at the time, she asked me for a divorce and then wanted full custody of our children, despite the devotion and involvement I was and am in their lives. That being said, my ex-wife hired an unethical attorney, who believed in a scorched earth policy to ensure his client was awarded the bulk of the estate and the hours he billed were astronomical. At trial, I was portrayed as a horrible husband and person, which is the farthest from the truth. The “spin” the attorney put on day-to-day aspects of life in order to make one out to be “the bad guy” was mind boggling and eye-opening to how the family court system is truly flawed. The unethical tactics and manipulation my ex-wife allowed her attorney to do in court was unconscionable, all to achieve money. The judge in my trial clearly did not understand the concept of pre-tax and after-tax assets and awarded my ex-wife approximately 85+% of the assets acquired during the marriage, in addition to enormous amounts of alimony and child support for 16 years although I was not married that long. Given this huge amount of money she was receiving, I was still ordered to pay for everything for the children (private schools, clothes, sports/extra cirricular, trips, supplies, etc….everything!). I was also ordered to secure a life insurance policy for millions and name her as beneficiary. This “alimony sentence” I was given through my early 60’s, has prohibited me to save for retirement and continue to live the life I would like with my new wife, yet the judge ordered me to keep her in the life to which SHE was “accustomed”. Despite the fact she is an educated woman capable of working and supporting herself in the lifestyle she desires.
Even worse, is that the ex-wife has been living with another man for 5+ years. Despite the emotional toll and unsettling environment my ex’s living arrangement has taken on the children, she continues to fight for alimony even though the divorce decree states it ends when living with a man that is not her husband. Yet the flawed CT cohabitation law is written that the domestic partner must also provide financial support to her household. Why would the live-in provide financial support when the ex-wife has substantial amounts of money? Therefore, the alimony now becomes support of BOTH of them! 

8. I was scammed by a woman who married me with the intent to divorce later – at 15 years.  It was her second marriage and she knew the legal system all too well. Over the years, she  was careful to make herself appear like she contributed to the marriage. But the reality is that she contributed very little. She made sure that she never had a job. Although I worked sometimes 60 hours per week, I spent more time raising my son than the EX, and performed most of the homemaker duties. Just for good measure, near the end of the marriage, the EX tricked me into getting deep into debt by insisting on purchasing various properties. She went so far as to convince me that by adopting a baby girl would fill a void in our marriage. I thought it was for love, but found out too late that is was simply a 
calculated legal move. After only a couple of weeks after the adoption, the EX told me that the girl was my problem.

“So I worked full time, took care of my 10-year old son, and now a baby girl. The EX started openly bar hopping and staying out almost all night. The EX had me just where she wanted me and now she was just biding her time until the marriage clock hit 15 years.”

“The EX wants me to move out, but because of the debts, I could not afford to. In order to get me out of the house, the EX falsely claims that I sexually molested our adopted daughter, who was only 4 at the time. The EX said with a big smiling grin ‘I have got you now!”

“Child Protective Services subsequently investigated this and found her claims to be completely baseless. The CPS representative even told me how to file a complaint against the EX for the false accusation. However, my lawyer advised me that the courts do not like such “sticky situations” and therefore advised me not to file a complaint. Through this investigation my boss, work associates, and customers were all aware of the allegations against me. Although I was exonerated, there would always be a stigma of doubt with them. I finally realized the level of evil that I was dealing with and that the EX will stop at nothing. She starts trying to get my son to turn against me. I come home from work one day and the sheriff deputies are waiting for me outside my front door. I am informed that the EX will claim domestic violence unless I leave. So I did with only the clothes on my back. I spent the next 4 days and nights living in the Wal-Mart parking lot. I had to bath and clean in their restroom. I was nearly arrested…. 

“In an attempt to avoid the attorneys from ruining us financially, I offered the Ex a deal. She can have the marital residence paid for, she can have $150,000 in cash, and I will pay child support. The EX tells me to ‘Go to Hell,’ and walks out on mediation.

“We go to court in the summer of 2007 and the EX spends the first 4 hours character assassinating me. I tell my lawyer that she is constantly lying, but he responds that Florida is a ‘no fault’ state and her testimony is irrelevant. So she gets away with depicting me as a monster and herself as a tireless-hardworking-loving-saint…. Our rookie Judge X, who was seeing his first divorce case, bought into her lies and handed down an extraordinary unfair ruling. She would keep the house while I paid 75% of the first and second mortgages for the next 16 years, she gets half of my the 401K ($250,000), I am denied all of my pre-marital assets totaling $150,000, she also gets half of my $45,000 inheritance, she keeps our daughter’s state stipend as hers although this is expressly meant for the child. She even gets a car allowance, child support, and $3,005 per month permanent life time alimony. The judge gave her $5 extra so she would not be burdened with the state fee of 5 bucks.

“I get to pay her attorney’s fees. I get to pay half of her extraordinarily high credit card debts. My equitable distribution of $50,000 is put on hold for 12 years with no interest accumulating, so inflation will reduce it to next to nothing. All of this nearly bankrupted me. I am stripped of everything and humiliated. I made less than $1,300 per week and it was taking $3,200 per week pay the court-ordered payments. I had nothing to eat except one peanut butter sandwich for supper each night, and I lost over 50 pounds in just a few 
weeks…. I was forced to default on all credit cards…. I had to deal with 2 additional lawsuits 
filed against me by banks. I worked 2nd and 3rd jobs that did not pay much. 

“At the Kennedy Space Center, I was the lead propellants engineer supporting the space shuttle and now I was nearly homeless. The judge in his arrogance even wrote in the final judgment that he impoverished me. All of this was affecting me at work. The EX and her  agents harassed me at work and sent me inappropriate emails in an attempt to get me fired. They even resort to harassing me at my home. I was reaching a breaking point. I am eventually demoted and removed from my position as lead engineer, which I had held for 16 years and nearly 100 Space Shuttle launches….”

9. Dave Foley’s Divorce 

The post 9 Alimony Horror Stories That Will Make You Never Want To Get Married appeared first on Caveman Circus.

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