I’ve got my Stats exam in three hours
When I’m one of the only ones who actually BYOB to a party (RIP Paul Bearer)
When my gf kisses me after a guy has been hitting on her at the bar
My girlfriend’s reaction when I finish early
When my 13 year old brother tells me that he is bullied because of his eczema
When I start having sexual fantasies in class and realize I’m way too into it
When I get a phone call at 7 a.m. on a Saturday
First time getting a blowjob
When I’m about to postpone the Windows update for 4 hours but accidentally click “restart now” instead of Postpone.
When my friend tells his girlfriend to “suck his dick,” and she says “Can’t suck a tic-tac”
“Please explain why you would like to work for us”
When my nephew tells me he wants to be a dinosaur fighting ninja when he grows up
When I hear my German Shepherd whimper as I walk out the front door
When I’m in the shower wanking it and can hear my roommate knocking on the bathroom door to hurry up
When someone in traffic passes me to become stuck behind the same car I was
When I get an email that starts with, “Dear Student Loan Recipient”
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