When I drop an entire pizza I just made
When she said I could finish inside her
When I’m in the shower and forget the shampoo bottle on the bathroom counter
When I wake up from a 4 hour nap that was supposed to be 20 minutes
When my mom is the only person who liked my Facebook status
When we’re super drunk and my buddy is calling his ex
When my friend starts arguing with his GF infront of me at a restaurant
When my gf takes her clothes off and joins me in bed
When I decided to bring my teenage son, who is going through his insane clown posse Gothic phase, to the cowboy convention with me
When I have a shitty day at work and my dog greets me when I get home
When the boss let’s us leave work 15 minutes early
The face woman make when I hit on them at a party…
When my friend invites his insane ex over
When my girlfriend bribes me with sex right after I jerk off
When a super slow reader is picked to read an entire article
When a college student begins their presentation with “Merriam Webster defines…”
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