When I’m battling diarrhea on a road trip
When I look up my old messages and comments on facebook
When I get a boner for no reason
When someone gets too drunk and tries to aggressively enforce their views upon me
When the bartender says there’s no more tequila
When I see someone walk out of an exam room when I’m only halfway done with the test
When I finish but she keeps going
When I see a shirt I like then I check the price tag
The class’ reaction when our teacher gave us a project, right after turning in a previous project, as well as a test
When my dad ends our phone conversation with “thanks for your time”
When I send a girl a corny text and she doesn’t respond
When I take a massive dump and it comes back clean after the first wipe
When my girlfriend asks if I’m in the mood for sex
When I’m talking to someone at a party and spot food from across the room
My face when I take the biggest dump of my life
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