When my mom would leave me alone in the grocery line as a kid
When someone I like calls me ‘buddy’
When Internet Explorer reminds me it is not the default browser
When a girl I know posted an album titled ‘Spring Break 09′ on Facebook
When I accidentally like a photo in my hot friend’s “Spring Break ’09″ album
When my professor asks me in front of the class whether or not I understood the equation
When someone interjects into an argument and is on your side
When my GPS tries to give me directions in my own neighborhood
When I smelled my fingers after a good ball scratch
After accidentally kicking my cat
When I look in the refrigerator but can’t find anything I want to eat
When I have to interact with the weird relatives that no one in my family likes
Waking up after dreaming about middle school
When my wife locks the bedroom door and asks if the kids are asleep
Showing my friends a video I thought was funny but they don’t
Trying to quietly take a shit late at night in a house full of people when it keeps splashing against the water…
W I saw on FB that my ex (who I have complicated feeling towards) is getting married
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