When my date starts talking about how Scientology could be really helpful for me
When my alarm goes off in the morning
When I’m politely listening to an old man at the bus station while he speaks in detail about his hemorrhoids
When I’m trying to listen to the professor during my 8am lecture
When my friend offered me basketball tickets for Feb 14th
When I realize that the girl I’m talking to is into me
When I think back on my teenage years
When I’m not good at driving in the snow so I have to drive a bit slower, and there’s a guy tailgating
When I roll up to a 4 way stop sign, and another car tries to go first even though I have the right-of-way
When I’m out with my best friend and we see his ex with another guy
When I’m the only sober one at the club
When the person behind me in the movies won’t shut up
When I see a really long Twizzler
When I take a huge dump, then look in the toilet to see how big it was, and the toilet is empty
When my boss tells me to sweep up as he’s leaving
When my crush uploads the album ‘Summer 2013′ to Facebook
When my friend asks me if I’m okay after I just threw up from alcohol
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