When I finally, after 10 losses, beat my friend in FIFA
When I open the camera on my phone and its switched to front facing
When someone’s phone goes off during class, and they answer it
When the waitress comes back to my table and says “Wow, someone was hungry!”
When my roommate passes me while entering into the bathroom I just pooped in
When the kids I’m babysitting are fighting and one of them snitches on the other.
When I have to wake up for work on a weekend
When my girlfriend says most men don’t masturbate
When I ask my girlfriend if the book “The Silent Wife” is about a mythological creature
When a player on my fantasy team scores against my favorite team.
When I try to become friends with new people
When my mother said she got a facial
When I hear my best bro’s ex talkin shit about him from across the room
When I’ve snuck out with my friends and I see my mom calling my cell phone
Forgetting my mom likes to talk too much on the phone
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