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Overheard Conversation Between Kim Jung-un And His General

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kim jung un

Army: "Proceeding with launch. Preparing final countdown."

Kim: "Excellent. Excellent. All according to plan."

Army: "We’ll go right ahead. Any minute now."

Kim: "Great. You go shoot those evil imperialists if they don’t stop that business this minute."

Army: "Will do."

Kim: "Weapons free."

Army: "Weapons are free. Locked and loaded."

Kim: "Fire at will."

Army: "Awaiting the final command."

Kim: "Final command granted."

Kim: "Missiles read to launch?"

Army: "All missiles ready for launch and awaiting command."

Kim: "Commence countdown for missiles."

Army: "Countdown commencing."

Kim: "Prepare for end of countdown."

Army: "Army is prepared for end of countdown and open war on the imperialists."

Kim: "Excellent. Go forth and destroy them all, for my father’s memory."

Army: "We will now go forth and destroy them all, for your father’s memory."

Kim: "Be sure to destroy them all. Don’t show any mercy – they deserve none."

Army: "We will show them no mercy as we ruthlessly mow them down."

Kim: "Are all the troops accounted for and ready"

Army: "All troops accounted for and ready"

Kim: "And the missiles?"

Army: "We did those already. Missiles ready and ready to commence launch."

Kim: "Commence launch"

Army: "Commencing launch of our dangerous missiles."

Kim: "Good. Proceed with the launch of our deadly, dangerous missiles."

Army: "Proceeding with launch. Preparing final countdown."

Kim: "Excellent. Excellent. All according to plan."

(via)

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