To all the girls who never returned my phone calls
When I see a picture of a girl that I know naked on the internet
Trying to Think of a Clever Pickup Line when Drunk
When I meet a woman and she’s wearing the same perfume as my first girlfriend
Wearing clothes you got over break to school for the first time
My face when someone smells my silent fart
When I’m on a plane and my ears won’t pop
Black girls before a fight
when I am home alone and hear noises outside of my window
When she says she’s a squirter
When people stand in the aisle immediately after the plane lands
When my mother asks me and my friend if anything happened at the party last night.
Whenever I see a hot cousin
When my grandma makes her chocolate chip cookies
Me when my cats start fighting
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