To all the girls who never returned my phone calls
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When I see a picture of a girl that I know naked on the internet
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Trying to Think of a Clever Pickup Line when Drunk
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When I meet a woman and she’s wearing the same perfume as my first girlfriend
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Wearing clothes you got over break to school for the first time
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My face when someone smells my silent fart
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When I’m on a plane and my ears won’t pop
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Black girls before a fight
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when I am home alone and hear noises outside of my window
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When she says she’s a squirter
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When people stand in the aisle immediately after the plane lands
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When my mother asks me and my friend if anything happened at the party last night.
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Whenever I see a hot cousin
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When my grandma makes her chocolate chip cookies
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Me when my cats start fighting
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