How I feel after my first month without a girlfriend in three years
Getting that first "Happy Birthday!" notification on Facebook
When I’m trying to show my girlfriend how its done
When my boss says that I can leave work early if I want to
When "Gangnam Style" passed Justin Bieber’s "Baby" as the most viewed Youtube video of all time
Every time your crush mentions a guy she likes
When I misspell a word so wrong that Spellcheck doesn’t even have it as one of their suggestions.
When my dog craps on somebody’s lawn and they’re outside
What it feels like posting to OkCupid…
When I can’t believe how long my piss is taking
When I get an A on a huge paper
Watching my parents use the internet
When my mom would tell me and my brother we are both in trouble if one of us doesn’t fess up
When I clog the toilet at someone else’s house
Every time I open the fridge
