How old were you when you first pulled in and how did it happen?
I was 11, close to age 12. I had run away from an abusive home situation which was no longer possible to return to. A man picked me up in his car, offering to help me. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, although now I can recognize these situations from a mile away. He was a pimp/trafficker, and proceeded to “break” me through physical violence and rape. He forced me to “turn tricks.” All of the money went to him, of course. He constantly threatened me with death, physical violence, etc.
Many girls who end up in these situations come from homes where violence is prevalent, often sexual abuse, or substance abuse, etc. Pimps/traffickers somehow are able to look for and recognize girls who no one would notice or care for much if she was missing. They utilize tactics of control and manipulation to prevent the girls from leaving these situations… The specific details of other survivors’ stories are varied, but there is more in common than not.
You said he took you by offering to help you, is this how girls are normally taken?
In my research into this issue as an adult I’ve learned about the different types of pimps/traffickers. The one who forced me into the sex trade would be considered a “guerilla pimp” using violence, threats, and abuse to keep me under control. What I think might be more common (although I admittedly need to do more research) is for pimps to take on a “Daddy” role, or boyfriend role to young girls and coerce and manipulate them into sex work. Either way, these girls are underage, not even at the legal age of consent yet.
Did anyone ever question you two together in public?
In the areas I was visible to the public, girls like myself were common, and no one seemed to ask questions.
Unfortunately, for many girls in this situation, police will arrest -them- as the criminals, even underage, or too young to even consent. While the pimps, johns, and adult men who are buying and selling little girls face little to no repercussions and are rarely arrested or prosecuted. This is one of the things I would like to see changed in my lifetime.
Did you start when you were 11 years old or after you had been with the man for longer?
I was forced to start turning tricks and making money when I was 11.
Sadly, this is the case for many other girls out there today. Some studies estimate that, annually, as many as 300,000 girls across the United States are at risk of ending up in these situations. They typically come from low-income families where there is already sexual abuse, physical abuse, substance abuse, neglect, etc. present. Returning home may not be an option. These girls (like I was) are, unfortunately, the types of girls that society does not value or put much effort into providing services for.
Why not leave at the start on your first alone job?
I was a terrified 11 year old little girl. The man who forced me into the life was violent and threatened me with death. I had absolutely nowhere else to go, and nowhere to turn to.
Wich age group were the most frequent buyers?
I wasn’t the best guess of age at the time, but I’d say between 35 and 55. It’s a big range, but at the time I thought they were all old, creepy men, and now I realize that to an 11 or 12 year old, someone who’s in their upper 30s can seem old and creepy.
Were there any crazy “clients” that made you do weird things?
Many of the men who paid to use me were forceful, even violent. They were there to meet a certain need, and none of them had any compassion for me, even if they were at all aware that I was in this situation unwillingly.
You mentioned that some of your “clients” actually knew that you were there unwillingly. I’ve heard of people being with hookers but I never heard of someone knowing they were there unwillingly. Was this normal?
Especially when I was first starting. I think it was pretty apparent that I was underage. And especially my first few clients, I feel it was obvious that I was terrified. After what I think was a few months (my memory of this time in my life is not the best), and threats of violence and actual beatings from my pimp/trafficker, I was able to put on a brave face.
Did you ever get the urge to hurt any of the men/women you were forced to be with?
No. When I first had to “turn a trick,” I asked the man for help, and he was dismissive. He had paid for a service, and didn’t want to hear any protests, and proceeded to force me to have sex with him.
I quickly realized that these men were not going to help me, even if they recognized that I was there unwillingly. I never had the urge to hurt anyone, and I was too terrified to fight back. I was convinced that I would get murdered or in a lot of trouble if I made any wrong move.
In regards to the movie Taken, is there even a glimmer of truth in this film.
The film “Taken” doesn’t paint an accurate picture of what it looks like when American girls are sex trafficked. If most of the girls being trafficked were from middle to upper class families, and were kidnapped while abroad, America would be in an uproar.
The majority of girls who become victims of CSEC are girls from low-income families, girls from homes where there is sexual abuse, physical abuse, substance abuse, neglect, or some combination of all of the above. They are typically girls of color. These are the girls no one is looking for, let alone Liam Neeson.
No one was looking for me. My parents were extremely abusive, and as far as I know they never reported me as missing. That is sadly the case for many girls who are sex trafficked in America. They are not the types of girls who anyone cares enough about to look for. My hope is that as awareness is spread about this issue, we as a society can help prevent this atrocity.
Are girls drugged up, or is it more likely that coercion or violence are at play?
As an adult I have been reading more of the research studies about this issue. I haven’t looked too much into the connection between drugs and this type of work, but some studies I’ve read have suggested that girls are often drugged up in order to be complacent, or are introduced to highly addictive drugs to prevent them from running away, and to keep them under control. Those are tactics that are used, as often as tactics of coercion and violence are used.
Were you ever drugged at any point?
Yes. And what I remember from the times I was drugged are some experiences that I don’t really want to talk about in too much detail.
How long were you stuck in this situation?
I ran away from him after about 3 years. It had gotten to the point where I felt as though I was dead already, and no longer cared if he hunted me down and killed me.
How did you escape, were you helped?
I left with absolutely nothing except the clothes on my back. I started hitchhiking, and fortunately, the people who picked me up were very kindhearted, generous people. I crossed three state lines before finally settling down and trying to find legitimate work and figure out how to get back into school.
What do you do for a living now?
Since that time, I have obtained two university degrees and I work in a helping profession, in which I hope to help girls like myself.
Do you have any problems with intimate relationships as a result of your abuse? Have you had any boyfriends? If so, have you told them your past, and how have they reacted?
I’m still healing from the trauma. I open up about my past only to a very few, close, trusted friends. I haven’t been ready for a romantic relationship yet, that’s something I still need to work up to. Honestly, I’m still working on truly believing that there are good, kind, safe men out there. I know that there are, it’s just really difficult to actually believe that on an emotional level after what I went through. I’m working on it.
Do you still like enjoy sex or has your past made you turned off by the prospect?
Sex isn’t part of my life. It might be a long while still before I’m ready for that, or to be in any sort of romantic relationship.
Do you think that you can ever view sex as a good thing? I knew a girl who was raped once, and she never got over it. Mentally scarred her for life.
It’s going to take a while. I’m still not yet at a point where I’m ready to be in a romantic or sexual relationship. I understand that to people without trauma histories, sex is a healthy, fun experience to engage in, and also a healthy expression of love in the context of a relationship. I know that on a logical level, but the trauma has impacted me such that sex is just too much for me. It’s too tainted, I’ve never had a good experience with it, it was always this violent, terrifying thing that happened to me. I hope those emotional scars heal one day.
Any ideas to how your life would have looked if this wouldn’t have happened?
I often do wonder how my life would have been different if I had been born into a safe home, with loving parents, and had never been forced out on the streets or exploited, etc.
I’m honestly not certain. I think I still would be a very intelligent person, but I don’t know if I would’ve had the same drive to succeed, without this motivation to help others. Although perhaps I would’ve been driven to excel in some other field of work or study. I’m not sure.
Do you think these pimps deserve death or rehabilitation?
It’s a really complicated issue. I’m sure that pimps and traffickers are involved in this due to their own histories, involving cycles of violence, broken homes, substance abuse, etc. It’s extremely difficult for me to look at these men who hurt these girls so mercilessly, and only for greed and money, as human beings… but they are, and there are reasons behind their behaviors. We should begin with prevention, to stop men from becoming pimps/traffickers, and to prevent the types of adult men who buy and sell young girls.
What would you like people to know that they don’t know already?
There is so much I would like people to know. The average age of entry into prostitution in America is 12-14 years old. These girls are not even at the age of consent yet, and are forced into the sex trade by adult men. It is not a glamorous life. While I’m sure there are women who choose sex work as a legitimate form of income and are adults when they enter the trade, and are consensual, that is not the norm; they are the exception.
I would like law enforcement to be aware that these girls are victims, not criminals. The Safe Harbor Act that passed in New York a few years ago finally changed this, so now these girls are being brought to needed services such as safe houses, long-term safe residential services, mental health care, education or GED programs, etc., etc. These girls need help and services, not to be placed behind bars. The adult men who are buying and selling these girls are the ones who belong behind bars.
How do you feel this could be prevented?
I’m not sure what we, as a society, can do to prevent this from happening. I think we need to educate teachers and schools on reporting suspected child abuse, and put protections in place for teachers or school staff who report, so that they have absolutely no fear of reporting. There shouldn’t be any sort of fear or threat of a teacher losing his or her job for contacting a Child Protective agency out of concern for a student. If we can get these girls to services -BEFORE- they run away, or are thrown out of their unstable or abusive homes, then we can prevent them from ending up in the hands of pimps and traffickers. I suppose more funding would be needed for Child Protective agencies so that they are able to respond thoroughly to the reports they receive.
Are you in favor of or opposed to the legalization and regulation of prostitution?
I’m honestly not sure. I’m supportive of whatever will prevent young, underage girls from being forced into the commercial sex industry. I support any initiative or law that will prevent CSEC from happening. I’m not sure if that means we should decriminalize or legalize prostitution, or keep it illegal.
I know in Sweden, it is legal to be a prostitute and to sell sex, but it is illegal to be a pimp or madam, and illegal to buy sex, (so, illegal to be a john or client.) It’s an interesting model that turns the tables on the adult men who buy and sell little girls. I haven’t looked into the research studies on this, or if there has been much research on its efficacy in reducing sex trafficking.
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