(photo: @davidmarcu)
If you want to make any permanent change in your life, willpower won’t get you there.
Whether you want to get healthier, stop using social media so much, improve your relationships, be happier, write a book, or start a business — willpower won’t help you with any of these things.
Personal progress and achieving success are best approached like you’re overcoming addiction. Because, quite literally, that’s what you’re doing. As human-beings, we all have addictions.
I openly admit being addicted to social media, my current belief system, my comfort zone, and my excuses. I’m also addicted to a lot of other behaviors that contradict my goals.
We are all addicted. And the cognitive dissonance is numbing.
If you’re serious about the changes you want to make, willpower won’t be enough. Quite the opposite. Willpower is what’s holding you back.
Willpower is a broken approach to thriving and success
“Willpower is for people who are still uncertain about what they want to do.”
— Helia
If you’re required to exert willpower to do something, there is an obvious internal conflict. You want to eat the cookie, but you also want to be healthy. Environment versus goal.
The tension is mounting…
!!!
What are you going to do?
Are you going to be strong this time and resist? Or are you going to crumble?
According to psychological research, your willpower is like a muscle. It’s a finite resource that depletes with use. As a result, by the end of your strenuous days, your willpower muscles are exhausted and you’re left to your naked and defenseless self — with zero control to stop the night-time munchies and time wasters.
At least, that’s what you’ve been taught.
Clearly, the research on willpower explains human behavior. But only on the surface level — the effects. The very fact that willpower is required comes from two more fundamental sources — the causes:
1. You don’t know what you want, and are thus internally conflicted.
2. You haven’t committed to something and created conditions that facilitate your commitment.
What do you really want?
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”
— RalphWaldo Emerson
If your life requires willpower, you haven’t fully determined what you want. Because once you make a decision, the internal debate is over. As Michael Jordan has said, “Once I made a decision, I never thought about it again.”
After you decide what you want, the decision is made. Thus, all future decisions regarding that matter have also been made. No questions.
So, are you serious about this? Or are you just talking? Are you still on the fence, or have you decided?
Until you decide, you’ll be required to use willpower, and will continue making minimal progress.
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