(photo: @soulsaperture)
If you are wondering whether you should stay in a relationship or go back to your ex, I have a mental exercise for you.
Close your eyes and imagine you are holding a puppy- any breed you like. Feel it’s warm weight against your chest, it’s soft sweet breath on your neck. Stroke the puppy’s soft fur, feel the fineness of its skin and the delicate bones beneath, touch it’s tiny paws, smooth and soft against your skin, kiss its little domed skull and look into its gentle, trusting eyes.
Are you holding your puppy? Do you feel its softness, it’s warmth, its vulnerability- that soft little mouth, peach like nose and all those fragile little bones? Do you feel its weight in your arms, snuggling up against your heart- trusting and relying on you.
OK, now give that puppy to your partner/ ex.
If the breath stills in your lungs, if your heart clenches, if you hesitate, then you need to ask yourself why.
Is it because they are a bully- who would shout at and hit the puppy, bruising that thin skin and breaking those fragile bones? Is it because you know that they’d neglect the puppy, leaving it alone, possibly hungry and cold and ignoring its cries for attention and affection. Is it because they are contradictory- a person who is nice whilst the world is going their way but who will turn on you for breathing if something goes wrong in their life?
And, if you’d hesitate over giving that puppy to your partner, why the hell are you giving yourself to them?! Aren’t you worth as much as an imaginary dog?
Too often, in life, we seriously undervalue ourselves and excuse away behaviours which we’d find inexcusable if another person was subjected to them. However, we are just as vulnerable and breakable as the next person- and just as valuable.
So, don’t put up with behaviours which you wouldn’t wish on a dog. If someone abused a puppy, you’d take that puppy out of the situation- do the same for yourself. If someone ignored their puppy, spending all of their time with other people/ doing other things, you’d know that the puppy was not getting the physical, mental and emotional stimulation it needed and you’d find someone who had time for the puppy- again, do the same for yourself. If someone abandoned a puppy, leaving it crying, you wouldn’t chase after the person to give the puppy back to them… You’re getting the drift?
Value yourself. And, if it helps, think of your soul as that puppy you imagined. Look into its trusting eyes- its relying on you to find someone kind, someone patient, someone with love and time to give. You are responsible for your own health and happiness and that loving, caring person might be sitting there lonely, waiting for someone just like you to come into their life.
– TheFriendlyGrimm
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