I am a 30 year old who has never had a relationship with a female and I’ve being suffering with depression about this fact for years, I am also not happy with how I look and I am over weight.
So this weekend I went on a holiday to a foreign country and I knew before going I was going to make an attempt to progress my situation and I started searching for sex workers in the area I was staying and even searching online for them was making me anxious as in my entire life I have kissed 2 or 3 girls and this always involved me being super drunk, so anyway I found a brothel that was a 2 minute walk from my hotel and I decided it was soo close that I could not back out of this ( I have searched for escorts online for years and always pussied out of it because I was too terrified of it)
So I head off to the brothel and I am shaking with fear and I go into the ally that the brothel is in and i make a pass of the area to recon it and i stop at the end of the street and im fighting my own mind saying this is it if i dont do this now it will never happen so I turn around and walk into the place and i buzz my way past a security door and walk into a reception room where i am greeted and told to take a seat while the girls come out, so i sit down and before iv even had time to take in my surrondings there is 7 or 8 girls standing before me in underwear, which i have never seen before in real life and im like omg wow so straight away i come out and tell them sorry iv never did this before do i choose 1 of the girls and the receptionist laughs and says yes what do you prefere and i say something else which i cant even remember now but then my brain told me to shut the fuck up before they think im a cop or something so i pick a girl and she leads me into a room.
So im in the room and there is a bed and a shower and a seating area and i close the door behind me and when I turn around she is already taking off her top and her boobs are amazing and this is the first time in my life I’ve seen boobs in real life that was a sexual situation not like a topless person on the beach or anything and I’m like oh wow.
I have never being naked in front of anyone and because I am overweight I dont even take off my t-shirts or wear a t-shirt without a top over it but I instantly started getting undressed and I’m thinking to myself omg I’m getting naked in front of another person, so I’m standing in front of her I still have my underwear on and i tell her I’m a virgin and I’ve never done this before and she laughs at me and says omg what your a virgin, so she tells me to lay on the bed so I sit on the edge of the bed facing away from her with my underwear on and I’m like this is it I’m about to get fully naked in front of a girl so I take off my underwear and lay down on the bed and she instantly starts warming me up and I was convinced that as soon as she would touch me I would premature ejectulate since thats what the movies say is ment to happen but I dont, infact my penis feels numb or desentitised so it takes about 10 minutes for me to get an erection but anyway we do the handjob/blowjob/sex and then she cleans me up.
I wasnt very good at it either and I also messed up because when she got me hard and asked if we wanted to fuck now I said not yet lets continue this ( oral sex) and I ended up ejectulating and when it came to the sex part we did 3 postions first with her on top and then she asked me to get up and do doggystyle but I was soo tired that I only managed about a dozen thrusts before my legs and joints were on fire and I had to stop then I started losing the erection because I felt embarrased about being so out of shape and also I think the condom took away alot of the feeling so she told me to lay down again and she started oral sex to try and get me hard again but I looked at the clock and realised time was running out and my penis started falling asleep in her mouth and I started laughing and saying nooooo come back littleman then she started laughing and said sorry but its not possible if penis doesnt want to play, then I asked her if this means im still a virgin because I didnt ejectulate from the sex and she said no you are not a virgin anymore and she said I did well because alot of men ejectulate instantly then we started getting dressed
I leave the establishment in complete shellshock and outside a random person asks me for a lighter and I think he’s an undercover cop and I closed my eyes and said sorry I dont smoke expecting search lights to come on and me getting arrested but nothing happens so I walk back to my hotel and i go into my room and sit on the bed and im just thinking to myself that I cant believe what i just did, 15 years or so of expectations and thinking I would be a virgin forever and its gone in 30 minutes or so.
I have now left and returned home and I guess I have the blues, I’m a huge computer game geek and I’ve being unable to focus on gaming at all, I have a huge desire to exercise and get in shape, I had my first workout session today and I broke all my previous records, I went to the shop and bought healthy ingredients for a weight loss diet and im just hoping I can stick with it and not sink back into my old lifestyle
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