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The Dumping Grounds

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How College Broke the Labor Market

 

DOLLAR $TORE STEAK | $1 Ribeye Taste Test

 

The Most MISUNDERSTOOD Feature On Your Drill

 

US Testing Its Monstrously Powerful $500 Million Rail Gun

 

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Linkage

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15 Most Controversial Movies Ever Made – Nerdable

18 Fascinating Photos You Must See – Ned Hardy

One of the best ways to store your knives. It is very easy to install and has a VERY strong magnet. 10/10 – Amazon

15 Most Controversial Movies Ever Made – Nerda

12 Simple Questions You Should Ask Before Making Investing Decisions – Darius Foroux

Inside the Rise of Misleading Plastic Surgery Before-and-After Photos – Allure

The Baloney Detection Kit: Carl Sagan’s Rules for Bullshit-Busting and Critical Thinking – The Marginialian

Ranking Mike Trout, Shohei Ohtani and the 10 Sweetest Swings in MLB Today – Bleacher Report

How the 18th-Century Gay Bar Survived and Thrived in a Deadly Environment – Atlas Obscura

Former video game executive sparks debate after claiming players should tip developers – NY Post

Beijing half marathon hit by controversy as China’s He Jie allowed to win – WSJ

Could the U.S. force treatment on mentally ill people (again)? – NPR

What’s So Great About ‘Apocalypse Now’? – Ned Hardy

There’s no better technique for rapidly drying greens, and it also works for berries and other fruits, vegetables, mushrooms, and anything else you want to dry rapidly – Amazon

Caitlin Clark, the top rookie female basketball player in the US, is making less than the average detective or acupuncturist – Business Insider

Imagine It’s Your Last Year: What Would You Do Differently? – Minimalist

A wild goose was taken to an animal hospital. His mate knocked on the door to find him – Upworthy

Ranked: The Countries With the Most Air Pollution in 2023 – Visual Capitalist

20 Pictures That Every 80s Girl Will Understand – Linkiest

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A Guide to Shattering Your Limiting Beliefs

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Mindset

I’m about to tell you something that might sting a little. Ready?

Your biggest obstacle isn’t your boss, your bank account, or your bum knee. It’s that three-pound hunk of grey matter sloshing around between your ears.

Your mind is the most powerful tool you possess, but it’s also capable of monumental sabotage. Every limiting belief—every thought that says you’re not smart enough, tough enough, or good enough—is not just a whisper; it’s a chain. And these chains can bind you, hold you back from achieving the extraordinary life that you’re meant to live.

So, how do you break these chains? It’s not by sheer willpower or by ignoring them. It’s by confronting and mastering them with precision and strategic action. Here are the practical techniques to help you overcome those limiting beliefs and transform your mindset:

Here are practical techniques to get you started.

  1. Identify and Label Your Limiting Beliefs – The first step to conquering your limiting beliefs is to drag them into the light. Identify them. Write them down. This makes them less daunting and more manageable. Are you believing that you’re destined to fail because you failed once? Recognize this belief for what it is—a mere belief, not a fact.

  2. Challenge and Dissect – Once you’ve identified a limiting belief, challenge it. Ask yourself: Is this really true? What evidence do I have to support this belief? More often than not, you’ll find that your beliefs are based on past experiences and fears, not on your potential or capabilities. Dissect these beliefs by looking for proof that contradicts them, and you’ll often find plenty.

  3. Replace with Empowering Beliefs – Nature abhors a vacuum, and so does your mind. Don’t just remove limiting beliefs; replace them with positive, empowering ones. If you’ve always told yourself that you’re not a good public speaker, start shaping a new belief: “I am capable of learning and becoming an excellent speaker.” Reinforce this new belief with actions—join a speaking club, practice in front of friends, or take a class.

  4. Visualization Techniques – Athletes do it. CEOs do it. Visionaries do it. The power of visualization is that it helps create a mental image of achieving your goal, which primes your brain to believe that success is possible. Spend a few minutes each day closing your eyes and imagining yourself succeeding. Feel what it feels like to overcome your fears and limitations.

  5. Mindfulness and Meditation – These practices aren’t just about relaxation. They’re about gaining insight into your thought patterns and learning to manage your mind actively. Through mindfulness, you can observe how limiting beliefs affect your emotions and behavior and learn to detach from these thoughts.

  6. Accountability and Community – Sometimes, the journey to mastering your mindset is too challenging to walk alone. This is where accountability comes into play. Share your goals and your struggles with a trusted friend, mentor, or a community of like-minded individuals. They can offer support, insight, and accountability, which can significantly reinforce your commitment to overcoming limiting beliefs.

  7. Consistent Practice – Like any form of mastery, overcoming limiting beliefs requires consistent practice. You wouldn’t expect to master the piano in a single session, and the same goes for your mindset. Dedicate time each day to work on your mindset, whether it’s through journaling, meditation, or engaging with inspirational content.

But let’s be crystal clear. This isn’t about delusional “positive thinking.” Chanting affirmations and visualizing Lamborghinis won’t do shit if you don’t put in the work.

Mastering your mindset is about facing reality head-on, accepting radical responsibility for your life, and relentlessly challenging yourself to grow.

It’s about developing the unshakable conviction that you can handle whatever life throws at you. That you have the ingenuity and resilience to find a way forward, no matter how daunting the challenge.

This is the mindset that has powered history’s greatest icons. From Leonardo da Vinci to Albert Einstein, from Marie Curie to Maya Angelou, the most successful humans are those who have mastered the space between their ears.

And you can too. But it starts with a choice. A commitment to excavating and eradicating the limiting beliefs that have held you hostage for far too long.

It won’t be easy. Your brain will resist. Your ego will throw a tantrum. But on the other side of that discomfort lies a version of you that you’ve only caught fleeting glimpses of. The real you, unfettered and unafraid.

So, are you ready to meet that version of yourself? Are you willing to do the uncomfortable inner work required to master your mindset?

If so, buckle up. You’re about to embark on the most rewarding journey of your life. And I promise you this – you’ll never look at that hunk of grey matter the same way again.

Let’s get to work.

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The Perfect Partner Does Not Exist

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perfect_partner

In our quest for love and connection, many of us have been sold a bill of goods. We’ve been told a story, a fairy tale, that somewhere out there is a Perfect Partner who will meet all our needs and erase all our troubles. But here’s the hard truth: the Perfect Partner doesn’t exist, and believing in this myth can do more harm than good.

The Perfection Trap We often enter relationships with a checklist of our ideal partner’s traits, influenced by movies, songs, and novels. We’re looking for someone who’s always compassionate, always understanding, and always available. And while there’s nothing wrong with having standards, the problem arises when our expectations become so specific and rigid that no real human could ever meet them.

This quest for the perfect partner leads to a cycle of short relationships or dissatisfaction with the one you’re in. When reality inevitably falls short of these perfect ideals, it can leave us feeling disillusioned or worse, believing that we are at fault for not finding “the one.”

Redefining Expectations Instead of holding out for a fairy-tale ideal, we need to shift our focus toward a more realistic approach to relationships. This starts with understanding that every person comes with their own set of flaws and strengths. It’s about finding someone whose values align with yours, who challenges you in the right ways, and who is willing to work through conflicts and differences with you.

  1. Value Effort Over Perfection – Look for a partner who is willing to put in the effort to grow and adapt with you. Relationships are not about finding someone who is compatible with you on every level but about finding someone who is committed to creating compatibility where it is lacking.

  2. Embrace Imperfections – Part of loving someone is embracing their imperfections. It’s about seeing the beauty in their vulnerabilities and quirks, and recognizing that these are part of what makes them unique. Instead of focusing on how your partner isn’t like the idealized image in your head, focus on how they add richness and depth to your life.

  3. Foster Open Communication – One of the most important aspects of a realistic relationship is open and honest communication. You should feel able to share your feelings and concerns with your partner without fear of judgment. This openness will help to bridge any gaps between expectations and reality.

  4. Cultivate Mutual Growth – Instead of expecting your partner to arrive perfectly formed, look for someone who is interested in growing with you. Relationships should be about mutual evolution, supporting each other in personal and shared goals.

The Joy of Realistic Relationships When we let go of the myth of the perfect partner, we open ourselves up to deeper, more meaningful connections. We learn to appreciate the beauty of the real, the joy of the unexpected, and the growth that comes from navigating life with another imperfect human.

This shift isn’t just about making peace with imperfections but about celebrating them. It’s about building something beautiful together, not waiting for a perfect structure to magically appear. It’s about writing your own story, one that’s far richer and more textured than any fairy tale could ever be.

In the end, the relationships that last and bring us the most joy are the ones grounded in reality, shared struggles, and victories. They aren’t perfect—and that’s what makes them perfectly ours. So let’s toss out the old myth and start celebrating the real, messy, wonderful journey of true partnership. That’s where the magic really happens.

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Dating Matters: “I will be turning 42 in a month. Never had a girlfriend”

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I’ve been single all my life. Never had a girlfriend. Never received romantic attention or love from a woman.

For anyone wondering, I am not disfigured or disabled in anyway. I take care of my looks and hygiene. I have a good job, a small but tightly knit group of friends. I have hobbies and interests. I exercise and am in decent shape for my age.

I was single throughout college and university and my 20’s. But I always maintained a positive attitude and an optimistic outlook on life, sincerely believing that things will get better in life and that I will find someone.

A long time ago, I heard that the best way to find someone is to “put yourself out there” and keep meeting new people. I took his advice to heart and over the years, have done the following:

  • Joined clubs related to my hobbies and interests and attended meetups.
  • attended classes (photography, filmmaking, calligraphy, art related stuff)
  • volunteered (animal shelters, charities)
  • confided to my few close friends about my loneliness and shamelessly asked them to help me meet people (they responded by inviting me to their events with their other friends)
  • did free design, video and sound editing work for someone’s short film project in the hopes that I could build a relationship with them and maybe get a foot in their social circle (this never happened).

While I have met plenty of women, it’s always the case that they a) are taken or b) don’t see me as anything other than a friend. So there’s nothing I can do.

So basically, “putting myself out there” isn’t working. All I’ve done is gather acquaintances who just call me if they need something and forget I exist once I’m done helping them.

I’ve spoken about my struggles to my therapist and she told me things like “be your own best friend”, “work on your hobbies”, “go for walks”, “exercise”, “eat right”, “stay physically fit”, “keep a journal”, “stay positive and open-minded” etc.

Others close to me have said things like “being single has no bearing on your self worth” or “be patient, people find love when they least expect it”.

(I’ll be honest. I find the soul crushing loneliness to be more tolerable than these these empty platitudes because they just come across as insensitive and dismissive. But now I’m beyond the point of caring.)

So in conclusion, I have done all I could to change my situation but looks like life has other plans for me. I’m now a middle-aged man. If I couldn’t find a woman during my youth, I have no reason to believe, in my 40s, that my situation will change for the better in the years to come. And so I am giving up.

 

Oh, let’s take a breath here. This isn’t just about finding romance; it’s about feeling recognized in your efforts and, frankly, your pain. You’ve tried. And tried. And that is not nothing. It’s everything. But your results—this chronic singleness—aren’t matching your expectations, and it’s wearing you down. Understandably so.

But before you throw in the towel, let’s revisit the essence of what you’re actually seeking. It isn’t just “a girlfriend,” right? It’s connection, recognition, someone to share with and care for who reciprocates that attention and affection. It’s about feeling seen and valued, not just for your helpfulness or your skills, but for you—the person who still hopes, even when that hope is frayed.

First, it’s perfectly okay to feel exhausted by the search and the platitudes. Those aren’t filling the gap where mutual affection and companionship should be. Acknowledging this isn’t giving up; it’s giving your feelings their due. That’s important.

Second, it’s also okay to stop “trying” in the ways that have only led to disappointment. Maybe it’s time to shift the focus slightly. You’ve been active in pursuing interests and expanding your social circles, which is great. But how much of this was for you, and how much was in hope of finding someone? There’s a subtle but critical difference. When activities become strategies rather than joys, the disappointment of not meeting someone can taint the whole experience.

Consider focusing deeply on what brings you joy in these activities, without the undercurrent of hunting for romance. This might refresh your energy and could change how others perceive your enthusiasm and engagement. Sometimes, connection finds us when we’re not stretching our necks looking for it.

Third, since the conventional advice hasn’t panned out, why not redefine what companionship could look like for you? Maybe it’s deepening a few friendships, or finding a community where you feel a sense of belonging, regardless of the dating potential. Connection can come in many forms, and while it might not be romantic, it can still be profoundly fulfilling.

Lastly, let’s talk about the idea of giving up. If stepping back means reducing stress and sadness, then it’s not surrender—it’s self-care. But if it means closing off to potential happiness because the past hasn’t worked out, then it’s worth questioning. Maybe there’s a middle ground where you continue living fully, openly, but without the heavy mantle of “must find love” on your shoulders.

You’re not just a middle-aged man who has never had a girlfriend. You’re a person with value, with interests, with a capacity for growth and happiness that may or may not include romance. You deserve peace with that, and sometimes, finding peace in where you are is the most attractive thing you can do—not just for others, but for yourself.

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Relationship Matters: Marrying Someone with Large Debt

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Marrying debt

I have recently gotten engaged. Unfortunately, my partner has a large debt to the tune of over $175k. The majority of it is from student loans from a degree that was not finished. The loans are as follows:

Private loan of $119k, 7.8% interest. Another private loan of $5k with 5% interest, CC of $6600, and a government loan of $45k with var interest.

He is paying $1848 combined on all of these loans, which is as much as he makes in one paycheck… in addition to the rest of our living expenses. $1k of that goes toward the largest loan monthly. I have minimal debt (under 2K), and a credit score of 774.

Is there anything I can do? Have I screwed myself on ever being able to buy a house?

First off, congratulations on your engagement! That’s a big milestone and I’m sure you two are excited about building your life together. But you’re right to be concerned about your partner’s debt situation. $175k is no small amount, especially with those high interest rates.

Before we get into the specifics of your situation, let’s take a step back and consider the broader question: Is it a good idea to marry someone with large debt?

The answer isn’t a simple yes or no. It depends on several factors:

  1. The type of debt: Student loans, for example, were presumably investments in your partner’s education and earning potential. High-interest consumer debt from overspending is more concerning.
  2. Your partner’s attitude towards the debt: Are they taking responsibility for it? Are they committed to paying it off? Do they have a track record of making payments on time? These are good signs.
  3. Your shared values and goals: Do you have a shared vision for your financial future? Are you on the same page about spending, saving, and debt? These alignments are crucial.
  4. Your own financial health: Are you in a strong position to weather financial challenges together? Do you have your own debts under control? An emergency fund?
  5. Your communication and problem-solving skills as a couple: Can you have honest, non-judgmental conversations about money? Can you make a plan and stick to it together?

If you have open communication, shared values, and a solid plan, marrying someone with large debt can work out fine. You might even come out stronger for tackling this challenge early on. But if there are red flags, proceed with caution.

Now, let’s talk about your specific situation. When you get married, your finances become intertwined. Your partner’s debt will impact your collective financial health and options. It affects your ability to save for shared goals like buying a house, starting a family, traveling, or retiring comfortably.

This isn’t to say you’re responsible for debt he incurred before your marriage. And you definitely want to be cautious about taking on any of his debt in your name. But in a marriage, you’re a team. His financial stresses will be your stresses. His victories will be your victories.

So, what can you do?

  1. Have an honest, judgment-free discussion about money. Get everything out on the table – debts, assets, incomes, spending habits, financial goals. This isn’t about blame, it’s about working together.
  2. Focus on that $119k private loan at 7.8% interest. That needs to be your top priority to pay down. See if you can refinance it to a lower rate.
  3. Look for ways to increase income and cut expenses so you can throw as much money as possible at the debt. Side hustles, selling stuff you don’t need, cutting subscriptions, etc. Every extra dollar helps.
  4. Once you knock out that big loan, roll those payments into the next highest interest debt and so on. This “debt snowball” method builds momentum.
  5. Don’t neglect other goals entirely, like having an emergency fund and saving for a house. But in your situation, destroying that debt needs to come first.
  6. Consider meeting with a financial planner who can look at your complete picture and give personalized advice.

Tackling this as a team means openly communicating, creating a budget and debt repayment plan together, holding each other accountable, making shared sacrifices, and celebrating your progress.

I won’t sugarcoat it – $175k is a big hole to climb out of and it will take focus and discipline. But you can absolutely do this. The most important thing is that you’re working together, being transparent, and have a plan.

The key thing is alignment. You need a shared understanding of the situation, shared goals you’re working towards, and a shared commitment to do what it takes. Frame it as “us against the debt” not “you vs. me.”

This is a challenge, no doubt. But it’s also an opportunity to build a strong financial foundation and partnership early in your marriage. You’ll learn a lot about communication, teamwork, and resilience in the process.

Stay positive, support each other, and celebrate your wins along the way. You’ve got this!

The post Relationship Matters: Marrying Someone with Large Debt appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Caveman Approved Products of the Week

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This stools will help you take the most efficient crap of your life. They raise your feet while you sit on the toilet, helping to straighten your colon and provide a smoother channel for poop to exit your body

 

One of the best ways to store your knives. It is very easy to install and has a VERY strong magnet. 10/10

 

There’s no better technique for rapidly drying greens, and it also works for berries and other fruits, vegetables, mushrooms, and anything else you want to dry rapidly

 

This thing has been super useful in helping me stretch and relieve pain in my shoulder and back. Great for mobility and flexibility too

 

How to Extend the Life of That Open Bottle of Wine

 

This is the gold standard for stainless steel fry pans, lifetime warranty, worth every penny

 

One of the best practical books on human behavior you will ever read

 

An absolute must read book for trauma survivors. Will definitely help with the healing process

 

There is a reason you see iron workers, welders, and pipeliners wear Tillman gloves. Extremely comfortable and ergonomic. They do an amazing job at protecting yours hands and hold up amazingly

 

Whether you’re traveling or camping, this portable coffee maker can give you an amazing cup of joe in 2-minutes, no cartridges or electricity required

 

An internet-beloved pet urine stain-removing spray so powerful it can tackle any accident — even ones that have been there for an embarrassingly long time

 

This is the stuff that professionals use to get rid of roaches

 

Low-Key Luxury: Having boiling hot water whenever you want for coffee or tea instantly

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The Dumping Grounds

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How to Escape a Police Sniffing Dog

 

All New Atlas | Boston Dynamics

 

Why the era of cheap streaming is over

 

How Mind-Controlled Bionic Arms Fuse To The Body

 

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Linkage

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He Emptied an Entire Crypto Exchange Onto a Thumb Drive. Then He Disappeared – Wired

A Few Photos to Take You Back to the Good Ol’ Days of the 80’s and 90’s – Ned Hardy

This stuff is AMAZING! I put it on my oatmeal and it is packed with superfoods and nutrients. So good – Amazon

20 Most Dangerous Places in the World: From Hell’s Door To Snake Island  – Nerdable

The $1.6 Billion Quest to Build America’s Tallest Skyscraper in…Oklahoma – WSJ

6 Places Where the Dollar Goes Farthest for Travelers – Afar

Your To-do List Is Missing These Two Things – Life Hacker

Mom, 28, forced to sell her dream car after forking out $40,000 in INTEREST alone over three years – Daily Mail

15 Movies with the Most Oscar Nominations in History – SNIP Daily

What’s So Great About ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’? – Ned Hardy

Anyone who struggles with optimizing space when traveling knows that packing cubes are the ultimate solution – Amazon

What Can Having Pets Teach You About Parenting? – The Atlantic

Man takes on 3 guys by himself and wins – Reddit

Ten Habits of People Who Lose Weight and Keep It Off – The Conversation

One chart shows just how much women’s college basketball ratings have soared while men’s have dipped – Business Insider

The 10 Most Heartwarming Moments in Pixar Films – Listverse

Gambling addict freaks out and details his addiction – Reddit

The government is slated to sue Ticketmaster’s parent company – VOX

NBA bans Raptors’ Jontay Porter for gambling violations – ESPN

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The Greatest Source of Our Suffering Are The Lies We Tell Ourselves

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stories we tell ourselves

The stories you tell yourself have the power to make or break your life. I’m not talking about the little white lies we all tell to get out of an awkward conversation or spare someone’s feelings. No, I’m talking about the deep-seated narratives we cling to that keep us stuck, small, and hurting.

You know the ones I mean. “I’m not good enough.” “I’ll never recover from this.” “Healthy relationships just aren’t possible for someone like me.” These are the lies that take root in our darkest moments of pain and then weave themselves through our lives, strangling our joy, our hope, and our relationships.

But here’s the good news: you don’t have to keep believing those lies. You have a choice. You can examine your stories, challenge them, and commit to telling new ones.

Sure, this isn’t a quick fix. Unpacking your trauma, understanding where these narratives came from, and rooting them out takes time and work, often with a really good therapist. But let me tell you, it’s worth it.

Because when you start telling yourself the truth – that you are worthy of love, that you have what it takes to heal, that you were made for deep connection – your whole world starts to change. You find the courage to open yourself up to others. You develop resilience to weather life’s curveballs. You experience the freedom and lightness that comes from not carrying those heavy false narratives anymore.

So right now, take a long, hard look at the stories you’ve been telling yourself. Do they line up with what you know to be true? Are they serving you, or are they holding you back? And if you’ve been carrying around the weight of a lie, what would it look like to set it down and walk in the truth instead?

I know this journey isn’t easy. But I also know that choosing to confront the lies and live in the light of the truth is the surest path to wholeness. You’ve got this, and trust me – the life waiting for you on the other side is so worth the work of getting there.

Alex’s Lie: “I must be perfect to be valued.”

Alex grew up in a home where achievements were highly praised and failures were harshly criticized. From a young age, Alex internalized the belief that their worth was directly tied to their successes and that any mistake was a profound mark of inadequacy. This belief manifested as a relentless drive for perfection in every area of life—from work to relationships to personal hobbies.

Despite numerous achievements, Alex never felt satisfied. Each success was immediately overshadowed by the pressure for the next big thing. In relationships, Alex was guarded, never showing vulnerability or asking for help, fearing that any flaw would make them unworthy of love. This constant pressure led to chronic stress, anxiety, and a pervasive sense of loneliness, as Alex’s true self was buried under the weight of an unattainable standard.

The turning point came during a particularly stressful project at work. Alex was so consumed by the fear of failure that they couldn’t focus, leading to sleepless nights and panic attacks. Realizing this couldn’t continue, Alex sought help from a therapist, where they were encouraged to explore the roots of their perfectionism.

With guidance, Alex began to see how the demand for perfection was a lie they had been telling themselves. They started practicing self-compassion, acknowledging that making mistakes did not diminish their worth. Alex learned to celebrate small victories and accept setbacks as part of growth, not as evidence of failure.

In therapy, Alex learned to be vulnerable, sharing fears and insecurities instead of hiding them. This openness was initially terrifying but gradually became freeing. Vulnerability allowed Alex to deepen relationships and connect with others more authentically, finding that people valued their honesty and humanity more than their flawless facade.

Today, Alex continues to work on embracing imperfection. They remind themselves daily that their value isn’t defined by achievements. By replacing the lie of required perfection with the truth of inherent worth, Alex has found greater peace and satisfaction in life.

Sarah’s Lie: “I’m not worthy of being loved”

Meet Sarah. Sarah is a 35-year-old woman who’s been through her fair share of heartbreak. Her father left when she was young, and a string of painful breakups in her 20s left her feeling like she just wasn’t cut out for lasting love.

For years, Sarah told herself a story: “I’m just not the kind of person people stick around for.” This lie became her truth, and it influenced every aspect of her life. She held back in friendships, always waiting for the other person to leave. She sabotaged promising relationships, figuring she might as well end things before they inevitably fell apart. She threw herself into her work, finding validation in her career since she believed she’d never find it in love.

But then, in a moment of tearful desperation, Sarah reached out to a therapist. And slowly, session by session, she started to examine the story she’d been telling herself. She traced it back to those early abandonments and started to understand how much pain those experiences had caused. She grieved the childhood she wished she’d had and the relationships she’d lost along the way.

And then, Sarah started to challenge her narrative. She looked at the evidence – the friends who had stuck by her for years, the boyfriend who was kind and consistent – and started to consider that maybe, just maybe, her story wasn’t the full truth.

It wasn’t easy, but Sarah committed to telling herself a new story. She started small, with affirmations like “I am worthy of love” and “I have so much to offer in a relationship.” And as she practiced this new narrative, it started to feel more and more true.

Slowly but surely, Sarah’s life started to change. She let herself be vulnerable in her friendships and was amazed by the depth of connection she found. She met a wonderful man and, for the first time, let herself imagine a future with him. She still had moments of doubt and fear, but she had learned to recognize them for what they were – echoes of an old story, not the unchangeable truth.

Sarah’s journey isn’t over, but she’ll tell you that the work of examining her stories and choosing new ones has transformed her life in ways she never imagined possible. And that right there is the power of telling ourselves the truth.

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