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by Nick Notas
Storytelling has been a cherished art form for thousands of years. When done right, it can win an entire group over and have a girl hanging onto your every word. Here are some of the positive effects:
A story is about the atmosphere you create. Really, you can talk about anything — your favorite professor, trying a new food, or a strange encounter with a taxi driver. It doesn’t have to be over the top or dishonest to make an impression.
You may have a cool story, but you need to segue into it gracefully. You should connect where you are, what you’re doing, or what she just said to the scene you’re about to set.
Simply ask a thought-provoking question, relate back to her, state an interesting fact, or recount something that just happened.
Most importantly, jump right into the action. If you’re telling her about the wild trip to Tijuana, begin there. Don’t talk about deciding to leave, asking your friends to come along, or other minutia unless it’s critical information.
When first meeting her, limit your story to no more than a couple of minutes. You’ll want to intrigue her but also give her time to share herself with you. If you have more to say, save it for later in the interaction after you’ve gotten to know each other better.
“Like”, “Um”, and “You know” are the death of a good story. Most people don’t realize how often they say them in conversation. They distract your listener and clutter your overall message.
Record yourself telling a story and notice any extra words that could be removed. Try to run through it again until you’ve got nothing but substance.
Gesture with your hands to convey emotion rather than keep them shoved in your pockets. This makes it easier to touch her as well.
No girl is going to be engaged if you sound like Ben Stein. Monotone is boring and puts people to sleep. Vary the tone and loudness of your voice for emphasis. Change the pacing of your words to set the mood and add dramatic effect.
When guys tell stories they tend to speak logically and sound like a textbook. This may get the specifics out quickly, but it’s not going to generate an emotional response from her. Here’s an example…
Logical story:
“So there I am, standing in front of the pyramids waiting to go in. Once I entered, it was a struggle to get up to the top but it was well worth it. The Pharaoh’s room was smaller than I expected but I still thought it was cool.”
You need to speak with your senses and leave out unnecessary details. What did you see, smell, hear, taste, and feel in that moment? Use concrete imagery to make her feel like she’s there.
Descriptive emotional story:
“So there I am, staring up at these massive ancient structures towering over me. I felt so small in that moment but my hands were shaking in excitement. Inside, we had to crawl through these tiny hallways to get into the Pharaoh’s room.
I couldn’t believe that it was only the size of a small bedroom; I got so claustrophobic. If that’s all a king got, I can appreciate my dorm room a whole lot more!”
A one-sided conversation can feel like a rant. Interactive storytelling is an effective way to keep her engaged. Involve her by asking a simple question during the story or posing an open-ended one when you’re done.
Adding to the pyramid story above:
Your stories should be purposeful. Use them to get her to crack a smile or convey something personally meaningful.
When wrapping it up, remember: What was funny about it? Why was it important to you? Did you learn a lesson? How did it affect you?
Your life is a great story never too boring to tell. The best orators practice regularly and can make something exciting even from the mundane.
Check out more awesome articles by Nick at The Dating Specialist
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As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY. As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY. As I began to love myself I understood that in any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY. As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health— food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since, I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY. As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART. We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
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