1. Long story short: Late night after the bars in college, I go home and passed out, girl knocks on my door and asks if I’m home, we know her so my roommate says yeah and lets her in. She goes straight to my room where somehow, while I lay lifeless passed out drunk, she gets me hard and starts riding me. My roommate opens my door and flips on the light and asks if she even put a condom on me first, she says no, and he kicks her out. I am informed of all this in the morning. Scary the idea that if the roles were reversed, it’d be a severely different story but I personally didn’t really care nor did anyone else when I told them. Every single response was “that’s awesome easiest lay of your life”
2. Got drunk with some friends and took a couple bars (not an uncommon Saturday night back then). One girl and I stayed up bs’ing in the kitchen. Most folks had passed out and it was a way to keep from disturbing people. The next thing I recall is waking up on the couch with her riding me and biting the hell out of my chest (the bruise lasted about a week and a half). A few other people wake up to the noises, including my girlfriend that I shared the apartment with. The girl riding me stopped to the commotion and left quickly.
I had never blacked out before and wanted to make sure I was okay (drugs are bad, mmm’kay). Toxicology turned up she had slipped some ruffies in my drink at some point. Had gf go with me, because she was having a hard time believing the story. (Hot chick riding your bf in the living room while you sleep so you can work in the morning and him not wanting it). Also had them check for any STDs as people started warning us that she may be running green. Came back clean, but that night started my path to stop using drugs.
Talked to a cop friend about the situation and he, low key, advised against trying to press charges since there were drugs and alcohol present and they would have to search the place for evidence and that wouldn’t go too well for me and it would come down to her word against mine. Even with me being ruffied, it would be hard to convince a jury, so I let it go.
Went about three years without seeing her anywhere, even though we ran in the same circles. Bumped into her in a grocery store and she immediately started apologizing. I told her it was in the past and I’ve moved on. She wasn’t making a scene and I didn’t really want to make one either. I don’t know that I would have had that restraint had I bumped into her shortly after the incident.
3. I went over to a girl’s house, smoked way more weed than I was used to and with a bottle of wine I was basically a zombie. We went to her bed and I asked if she had a condom, she said no, I told her we weren’t shagging then. Passed out, woke up with her riding me. At that point I figured I might as well go with it, since if I was going to catch something then I’d already have it, and I really wanted to go to sleep rather than get dressed and try to get home, deal with awkwardness. No diseases thank god.
I wasn’t much more than disappointed, and my friends male and female say it isn’t rape, so sometimes before I tell my story I reverse the roles and tell them about the time I shagged an unconscious girl without protection after she’d already said she didn’t want sex. Their reaction is wayyyy different.
4. My ex girlfriend liked to be “raped” she liked the roleplay of it I guess, she asked me to tie her up and really be rough with her one time. I did it even though I didn’t feel comfortable being so rough with her. We did this a few times here and there, our relationship started to fall apart due to other issues like her not trusting me for some reason and making me take pictures of everywhere I went and constantly fighting about it, I finally saw what was happening to me being controlled by her and never being allowed to see my friends or family and even skipping classes in college because she didn’t like a girl in my class or whatnot. I tried to leave her and she showed me a video, the video was one of our rape roleplay sessions, she recorded it and now was using it to blackmail me. I was scared to death and ended up staying with her for about another 6 months where she would regularly force me to have sex with her or she would call the police and tell them I raped her, the Tape had me dead to rights over a crime I didn’t REALLY commit. Eventually I felt as if I had enough of a case and I took a leap of faith and left her, blocked her on everything. Never heard from her again. Its been about 3 years and my trust in relationships is ruined but im still recovering.
5. I was at a wedding without my girlfriend as she had a prior engagement and couldn’t make it. I’m English, and I knew the American bride because we taught English in France together a few years beforehand. Her husband was Italian, and the wedding took place in Turin.
On the day I was sat at a table with a lot of the groom’s Italian friends. Even though I don’t speak Italian this suited me well as the Americans have a strange relationship with Alcohol. Everyone knew I wasn’t single. On my table was one American girl, Laura. She was really athletic, a crossfitter I think. Not a bodybuilder but there was no fat on her at all.
Fast forwards and I had drunk more than my fair share. The “American” tables had a lot of wine left on them after the meal. After acting like a tit on the dancefloor, the night wound down and everyone left to go home or back to hotels. In the hotel lift myself, Lauren, and another American girl who I think was the maid of honour were going up. Lift stops, my floor, I get out and head towards my room. MoH stays in the lift to continue to her floor. Laura’s still with me. As we get near my room I remember Laura is staying on the floor above mine, which is odd but I was blotto so it didn’t occur to me to say anything.
I say “bye” in short order as I’m taking a turn and I wasn’t to get to bed as soon as I can. As I close the door it hits something hard. Her foot. I turn to look at her and she pushed the door open, kissing me. I push her off, mumbling incoherently. She pushes into my room and shuts the door behind her, telling me to go with it. I’m fairly uncoordinated and weak because of the drink; I say no. She pushes me onto the bed. I black out. In the morning she’s gone and there are 3 (three) used condoms in the bin.
I always felt horrendous about cheating on my GF of the time. I never told her, or anyone about it really. That relationship didn’t work out and as far as I know she never found out about it.
Fast forward a few years to the me too movement and I see someone on twitter or FB, can’t remember which, post a story extremely similar to my own. That’s the first time I ever considered that I’d been raped. I raised this and was laughed at by men and women alike.
I personally think that if the roles were reversed, and I’d forced entry into a drunk girl’s room whilst I was sober and had sex with her when she had repeatedly told me no, I’d probably be in some serious bother. I know better than to tell anyone else now.
6. I was raped twice by two different girls. The first one was my dad’s girlfriend. I was staying with my dad and his girlfriend when I was around 16 and one weekend he went away for the weekend. Well the moment he left his girlfriend tells me let’s go. We go to the liquor store and she tells me to pick a bottle. I drank tequila every night with my dad so I thought nothing of it. I picked a bottle of absolute citreon and a six pack of beer. Well we start taking shots and before you know it the entire bottle is gone. I get and and throw up in the bathroom and stumble back to the couch and pass out. That’s all I remember…… Until I wake up to her giving me a blowjob. I passed out again and she is riding me. I couldn’t pass out after that so I pretended to sleep until she was done. The next morning I woke up ran in the shower and when I got out she was telling me about the great life we were gonna have. Well I played it off until my dad got back and told him everything. Shit blew up and I went back home with my mom and buried it in my head for 20 years.
Second time I was drinking with a bunch of friends and a friend who was staying with me was seeing this girl. Well the girl he was seeing had another girl who was sleeping at her house so I had to drive them all. The whole drive to my house this girl is saying she was gonna fuck me. I sorta laughed and said nahhh I’m good. You fucking with my other boy and I got a girl. Well she wouldn’t take no for a answer. When we got to my house I told my friend not to leave us alone. As soon as I use the bathroom I get back to my room and this girl is naked in my bed. I go to leave the room and she runs over and closes the door and litterally pushes me onto a chair. I get a flashback of the first time and I freeze. I let her do her thing and I went to bed.
I never told anyone and my girlfriend at the time ended up being my wife. She put up with my depression for about 15 years before she got tired of it and I finally told her. It was like a huge wieght off my chest. I still never drink around females unless my wife is around and I have a hard time looking females in the face when I talk to them. It really fucked me up. If I have 1 drop of alcohol my dick is dead to the world. I get such bad anxiety and the occasional flashback.
7. Ended up in my exes room because she said she wanted to talk. She locked to door and told me she wanted to fuck. Told her no repeatedly and she started slapping and kicking me every time I tried to leave. I told her I was gonna yell for help and she said “who are my roommates gonna believe you or me?”. So I tried calling my friend to come help me but she took me phone and threw it into her closet, with the same kicking (balls) and slapping me. I finally relented and let her do whatever she wanted then packed up my things left and completely blocked her off of everything.
8. I was raped by my college roomate’s girlfriend. This happened around sophomore year of college. One of my roomates had been dating this girl off an in for about 8 months or so. She was a tall, athletic, attractive red head. She had that oh so famous red head temper. My roommate was also not the best boyfriend. They fought a lot in our apartment. Several times, I was forced to physically get between them to prevent an altercation and/or our stuff getting broken. These fights happened at least once a week, and almost every time they drank.
One Friday, she tells me that she wants to set me up with one of her soriorty sisters, so we 4 (roommate, roommate’s gf, gf’s friend, and myself) all go out to the clubs. The night was going surprisingly well. The friend and I didn’t really connect in a romantic level, but we were all having a good time none the less. At one of the clubs, it’s my turn to buy a round, I’m standing at the bar, trying to tune out the loud music, when I feel an arm reach around from behind me and grab my crotch. Natural reaction, I turn to see who it was and see my roomates gf standing behind me grinning… I carefully removed her hand, and tried to mentally brush it off as the alcohol getting to her. Fast forward another two hours and we are in the cab going back to our apartment. Roomate and girlfriend are loudly fighting about something, while the friend and I are sitting in uncomfortable silence. It is at this point, things get really blurry, it was as if all of the nights alcohol hit me all at once.
I remember us getting back to our apartment parking lot and my roomate and his girlfriend are shouting at each other. I throw the driver a bill and stumble back to our apartment with girlfriends friend in tow, leaving them to fight outside. I don’t know where the friend crashed, I just walked straight in and straight to my bed. I don’t think that I even took my club cloths off. Don’t know how much time passed, but get the feeling of something wet around my crotch area and on my stomach. My initial thought, before opening my eyes, was that I pissed myself. Upon opening my eyes, I see my roomates girlfriend on top of me, riding me. I sobered up in that one second and quickly shoved her off of me. I just remember saying “WTF are you doing?!” and her saying VERY loudly, “Well someone else won’t fuck me!” as if she wanted my roomate to hear. I told her to get out, and she did whilst calling me an asshole.
I lay there for a minute trying to analyze what just happened, when I start to feel sick. Not sure if it was the alcohol or the incident that just occurred, but I ran to the bathroom to puke. I returned to my bed and fell back asleep. I never brought it up with my roomate or his girlfriend. I dont know if she ever told him. He told me the next day that he was so blasted that he didn’t remember anything after we left the club. The sorority sister was no where to be found the next morning. Roomate and his girlfriend broke up for good not long after that. I still see her around town every now and then. We are cordial we speak, but I have never brought up the incident. I’m not even 100% sure if she remembers doing it. To be honest, even I have confused feelings about it to this day.
9. I got nearly blackout drunk with my roommates and floor mates in first year, the night before our first exam. Went to bed alone, they staid up drinking. Woke up (vague drunken awareness ) to a girl trying to stuff my whiskey dick inside her. Didn’t really know what to do and just sort of drunkenly let her continue. I was extremely confused as this girl was an out lesbian, I had no idea what was going on. Tried to off my self a few days later.
Took a long time to admit to myself that it even happened, maybe it contributed a bit to trying to kill myself? Cuz I was in a miserable terrible black hole for the next months and eventually switched schools. It took a long time to even consciously connect the dots. Never really told anyone cuz I couldn’t really even admit to myself that maybe, that wasn’t a cool thing of her to do.
And if I did tell anyone other than a therapist I have a hard time believing they would be supportive. MY close, lifelong friends already think I’m a wee bit of a slut (some truth), especially because I’m not looking for commitment in any form. So I imagine people would be super dismissive. At the time my roommates sort of tongue in cheek congratulated me, because you know, isn’t that the dream?
“You were drunk in first year and hooked up with a lesbian?! Legendary!”
10. This is actually how my son was born. I had been with this lady, lets call her Stacy, she was crazy, but I wasn’t exactly stable either, I was really into painkillers at the time, and I was not doing very fantastic at life. I had a stable job, a shared rent house, a car, but no equity, no savings, (drugs are expensive) and a general feeling of wanting to die.
This general feeling of wanting to die was mostly due to the excessive painkiller use, and I was on Probation at the time, but that is a separate story of stupidity. Anyhow I wasn’t exactly the most emotionally available person, I worked all the time, because rent+drugs=slavery. When I was home I was reading, or sleeping, or being a generally miserable cunt.
Now Stacy, Stacy, has no job, she just goes to school, she stays with me, rent free, and for a while, we were happy. Until my general priggishness pushed her away. Anyhow, she cheated on me. I caught an STI because of it. I broke up with her, I asked her to leave.
I get treated. I grieve. I become less like a human and more like a miserable, hollowed out, skeleton who has trouble processing mentions, emotions, priorities, the basics of human interaction. I get put on mail in probation, the easiest there is. I don’t mail in. I just want to sleep. Maybe never wake up.
So I tried to end it the only way I knew how, I took a lot of painkillers, and drank whiskey till I couldn’t see straight.
I wake up in the morning. I’m disappointed. I’m alive.
Stacy is naked beside. WTF? what happened? Did I call her? My phone is shattered. I wake her up. I ask her to leave. I haven’t eaten in a couple of days, I’m starving, and so hungover I can’t think. She starts to laugh at me. I start to get angry but my head spins, I fall back onto the bed. I realize she is undressing me. I moan out a please help me. I think I’m dying. I wake up. I’m naked. She’s gone.
A few days later, she calls my job and asks to sit down with me. She says, “I’m late.”
I cry. This is not what I needed. She asks for money. I give her some. Go back into work and my PO is there wondering why I haven’t mailed in.
I go to jail. Then rehab. While I was in rehab my consular, helped me realize that the way she had always treated me, was not like a partner but as a servant.
I have no idea where to end this.
Anyone who has dealt with something like this knows,it’s how you cope. I’m getting better, I still avoid relationships with women because I’m not ready. I want to get a little bit better before I try that again.
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