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Reaction GIFs Beeeyotch!

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When I shit my brains out in a public bathroom and look at the poor sucker who’s next in line to use it

 

When I don’t know anyone at the party

 

When I made an ass out of myself while drunk last night but my friends thought it was hilarious

 

Flat Earthers reaction to the Falcon Heavy launch

 

When I ask the customer what version of Windows they’re running and their response is “Dell”

 

The next day after my wife stuck her finger in my butthole during sex

 

Paying rent the day after payday 

 

When the ass is fat

 

When the professor asks my group a hard question at the end of our presentation 

 

When I see the Patriots fans from my job still sad at work

 

The post Reaction GIFs Beeeyotch! appeared first on Caveman Circus.


There Are Some Things You Just Can’t Argue With

The Daily Man-Up

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“I think the big thing is don’t be afraid to fail. I think in our society today — Instagram and Twitter — it’s a highlight reel. It’s all the good things, and then when you look at it, you think like, ‘Wow.’ When you have a rough day or your life’s not as good as that, you’re failing. Failure’s a part of life. That’s a part of building character and growing. Like without failure, who would you be? I wouldn’t be up here if I hadn’t fallen thousands of times, made mistakes. We all are human. We all have weaknesses. And I think throughout this, just being able to share that and be transparent, I know when I listen to people speak and they share their weaknesses, I’m listening, because I can resonate. So I’m not perfect. I’m not Superman. I might be in the NFL, and we might’ve just won the Super Bowl, but hey, we still have daily struggles. I still have daily struggles. But that’s where my faith comes in; that’s where my family comes in. And I think when you look at a struggle in your life, just know that that’s just an opportunity for your character to grow.”

— Nick Foles

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Here’s What A Meal At The Second Best Restaurant In The World Looks Like

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Osteria Francescana is 2017’s #2 restaurant in the world (former #1), 3 Michelin’s stars, and the most famous restaurant in Italy so far. Finding a table at Massimo Bottura’s is not a simple game: with only 12 tables and a 3 months advance reservation policy. Here’s what a dinner tasting menu looks like.

 

Amuse bouche #1: Dried tomato macaron with mozzarella and anchovies filling. A cute savory-instead-of-sweet approach. I really liked how the flavor of dried tomatoes mingled with the anchovy filling.

Amuse bouche #2: Lemon granita, lemon foam, and lemon salt rim. A very refreshing course with nice salty contrast. (And a beautiful charger plate.)

Now comes the real bread course. My favorite was the whole grain croissant with crunchy crust, which went great with olive oil.

 

First course: anchovies bread cylinder
Wine pairing: Malvasia 2012 Raccaro
You break the bread into pieces to get soup with herbs and peppers and vinegared anchovies. The soup was surprisingly lukewarm, as I thought it would be hot. It pairs beautifully with the Malvasia, softening sharp notes of the wine and bringing out sweetness of the dish.

 

Second course: East meets west: dumplings with shrimp and shrimp foam and crispy lentils in sauce.
Wine pairing: Timorasso Farewell 2011 Massa Glocal
Super intense shrimp taste, crispy shrimp flesh within. The flavor mixed very well. The wine pairing is elegant and brings out oaky richness of the dish and the sweetness of the shrimp without being fishy.

 

Third course: red mullet with shrimp stuffing and green and black olives and crispy bread crust.
Wine pairing: Timorasso Farewell 2011 Massa Glocal
Really intense fish and tomato sauce. Beautiful wine pairing that brought out the fruity playful notes of the wine. This course and the one before really showed off their skill with sauces.

 

Fourth course: lamb pretending to be oyster
Wine pairing: Distillato di Genziana di Boroni
The dish looks like oyster, but is actually lamb tartar with oyster cream and green apple granita. It really does taste like oyster; the smoothness of the raw lamb does a good job imitating the real thing. The food brings out herbal notes in the liquor. A very playful dish.

 

Fifth course: caesar salad with bacon and vinegar and parmesan cheese.
Wine pairing: Distillato di Genziana di Boroni diluted with water
The watered down grappa is very herbal and refreshing, a very inspired pairing with the fresh, crunchy lettuce.

 

Sixth course: snails in the garden
Wine pairing: Birra Beltaine castagne affumicate e ginepro (smoked chestnut beer)
Cute presentation. Cute presentation. The snails themselves don’t have much taste, but the texture is good. I didn’t like the pairing with the rich smoked chestnut beer.

 

Seventh course: lasagna with crispy pasta sheet, bechamel sauce, meal sauce.
Wine pairing: Nekaj Tocai 2009 Damijan Podversic
Great textural contract. Super traditional essential meat sauce with creamy, fluffy bechamel sauce. Paired with dry tokaji, which reveals its fruity side with food.

 

Eighth course: frogs in the pond
Wine pairing: Succo di rbarbaro Van Nahmen
Crispy frog legs with herb sauce, pasta, bread croutons, and hazelnuts. This course had an awesome whimsical pairing with amazing rhubarb nectar from Germany. The rhubarb nectar was one of the best things I tasted that night, or ever. I really admire the fun pairing of frogs with rhubarb.

 

Ninth course: pigeon breast with beet sauce and pickled vegetables.
Wine pairing: Passo Nero 2010 Arianna Occhipinti
First of all the presentation is beautiful. The pairing with a passito style Nero d’Avola is daring and very delicious, I would not have thought to pair a sweet wine with meat but it worked very well. (On second thought, people do cook duck with port…) This was a fun take on the classic sweet and sour poultry genre,  e.g. duck a l’orange or sweet and sour chicken.

 

Tenth course: pancake with foie gras apple onion rhubarb filling, reduced milk ice cream, sour cherry and maple syrup.
Wine pairing: Verduzzo 2012 Marco Sara
The pancake is salty, sweet, and rich, which actually makes the dessert wine taste more tart. A very balanced dish.

 

Eleventh course: raviolo of pumpkin, capers, and orange peel with citrus juice and vinegar.
A very creative mix of savory, sweet, and tart.

 

Mignardises: brownies, passion fruit pates de fruit, ear gray madeleines, amaretti cookies, gianduja chocolates, coffee cream truffles.

The post Here’s What A Meal At The Second Best Restaurant In The World Looks Like appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Life Isn’t All Sunshine And Rainbows

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Portrait Of A Stoning (view the rest of the pics here)

Mohamed Abukar Ibrahim, 48, is stoned to death by members of Hizbul Islam, a group of Somali Islamist insurgents in Afgooye, 30 km from the capital Mogadishu, on 13 December. Ibrahim had been found guilty of adultery by a local Sharia court. I

 

Lottery winner finally able to pay for doctor visit, dies 3 weeks later from stage 4 cancer (article)

He told the WBNG-TV news channel that he was planning to “buy a new truck, pay off some debt and invest for the future,” with his winnings. He added: “This is going to change our lives to tell you the truth”.

 

A staircase in prison block at Auschwitz, with worn footsteps.

 

An abandoned child ravaged by AIDS in a Romanian orphanage (1990)

 

Child in heartbreaking photo dies of aggressive brain cancer (article)

 

Óscar Pérez was a venezuelan ex-policeman that rebelled against the regime. He had been hiding from the police for months. They found him. These are the final videos he posted on Instagram before being executed

 

A wife sits by her husband, a terminal cancer patient

 

Pakistani medical student ‘names her murderer’ on video shortly before death (article)

A man has been arrested after the murder of a student in Pakistan who was reportedly killed after turning down a marriage proposal.

Asma Rani, a third-year medical student, was shot on Saturday afternoon in Kohat, 120 miles west of the capital Islamabad, and died in hospital on Sunday.

Footage has emerged allegedly showing Ms Rani in hospital shortly before her death, naming Mujahid Afridi as her killer.

Her family alleges that Mr Afridi killed Ms Rani after she refused to marry him, having also made previous threats against her.

 

Texas man smiles as he’s executed by lethal injection for murder of two young daughters (article)

In May 2001 John David Battaglia shot nine-year-old Faith and her six-year-old sister, Liberty, while they were visiting him at his home.

He and wife Mary Jean Pearle had separated, and on seeing the girls’ mother among witnesses at his execution he looked at her, smiled, and said: “Well, hi, Mary Jean”.

“I’ll see y’all later. Bye”

 

An active shooter alert button in a high school

 

Review of a mental health clinic

 

15-Year Old’s Memorial Page Calls Out Bullies For Her Suicide (Website)

Miss Sadie L. Riggs, 15, of Bedford, took her own life on Monday, June 19th, 2017. 

Sadie was born in Bedford on December 4, 2001. She is survived by her father, Eric Riggs and step mother Alicia Smith of Bedford and her biological mother, Beverly (Dodson) Riggs of Hopewell and by her motherly aunt, Sarah Smith, with whom she resided. …

In an effort to debunk the rumors about Sadie’s death we would like to share this information. Yes, Sadie took her own life, she hung herself. It is hard to fathom that someone so young could be so troubled. Sadie was seeking help, she was in counselling and taking medication, but it was all too much for such a young soul to live with. If you take a minute and look at Sadie’s family dynamics you will see that a large percent of the people in her life were not related to her by blood but she was sent to us by God who knew this child needed a family. Sadie had a tough life and until a recent incident at school she handled everything life served her. For a young lady so excited about going to the High School things sure went terribly wrong for her. For the bullies involved, please know you were effective in making her feel worthless. That is all between you and God now, but please know that it is not to late to change your ways. Sadie’s death has taken us to dark places, we will stick together and protect one another as we try to make sense of this tragic loss. To all the bullies out there, I just want you to know that as much as we despise your actions never, ever do we wish for you to feel the paralyzing pain that engulfs our bodies, a pain so severe that it makes the simple act of breathing difficult or the guilt that leaves us wondering what we could have done differently-or that struggle to remember the last words we spoke…Our hearts are beyond broken. Sadie, it was a privilege to have you in our lives and we will always love you. May you find peace in the arms of God and may we all be kind to one another. 

In lieu of flowers, the family of Sadie ask that you be kind to one another.

 

Dying of cancer with only weeks to live, 19-year-old Dustin Snyder’s final wish was to marry his high school sweetheart. They got married yesterday in Plant City, FL

 

"This is the bullet that ended my fathers battle with depression"

 

You’re a new prisoner in Alabama’s prisons. This is the video you have to watch about avoiding rape

 

View of the Las Vegas Village from room 32-135

Sledgehammer next to broken glass and bullet casings

Interior of room

Security camera attached to door peephole

Food Service Cart in hallway with camera

The only note left by Paddock, a handwritten note with distance/bullet drop calculations

You’re a new prisoner in Alabama’s prisons. This is the video you have to watch about avoiding rape.

The post Life Isn’t All Sunshine And Rainbows appeared first on Caveman Circus.

The Dumping Grounds

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Christopher Walken makes chicken with pears

 

How to Make 29 Handmade Pasta Shapes With 4 Types of Dough 

 

The Ultimate Car Wash

 

Rare footage of interviews with elderly people in the United States including Civil War veterans and a woman who witnessed the Trail of Tears recorded in 1929

 

Quincy Jones – Summer In The City 1973

 

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Caveman Approved Product Of The Day

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A Samurai’s Guide On Fighting, Winning, Living And Being

“There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself.”

Along with The Art of War by Sun Tzu, The Book of Five Rings has long been regarded as an invaluable treatise on the strategy of winning. Musashi’s timeless advice on defeating an adversary, throwing an opponent off-guard, creating confusion, and other techniques for overpowering an assailant was addressed to the readers of earlier times on the battlefield, and now serves the modern reader in the battle of life.

the book of five rings by musashi

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Linkage

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Here’s what war with North Korea would look like – VOX

A Cocaine Dealer Describes His Trade – Medium

Woman Takes Selfies With Cat Callers For A Month And The Photos Are Both Disturbing And Plentiful – Ranker

Olivia Nova Is the Fourth Porn Star to Die In Three Months. What’s Going On In the Adult Industry? – Mens Health

Every successful relationship is successful for the same 10 exact reasons – Idea Pod

A Startling Demonstration Of What A Jet Engine Would Do To Your Face –

Bewbs And Awesomeness Picdump – Leenks

The Most Underrated Order At Every Fast Food Chain – Thrillist

Yanet Garcia’s booty deserves your attention – Yes Bitch

The New Refinance Winner For February 2018 – Comparisons

Before He Died, a New York Taxi Driver Wrote About How the Gig Economy Ruined His Life – Motherboard

Ariel Winter’s cheeks on display – Drunken Stepfather

Geli Raubal Was Hitler’s Only True Love – And His Niece – All That Is Interesting

Quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo reportedly agrees to biggest deal in NFL history – Fan Buzz

Kara Del Toro’s Instagram Is Top Notch – Hollywood Tuna

The high cost of becoming an Olympic athlete – Get Rich Slowly

Hot girls who are generous with the cleavage – Radass

Hilarious Moments When Dogs Realized They Were Going To The Vet Instead of The Park – Sad And Useless

The Cleveland Cavaliers’ Bonkers Trades Pave the Way for LeBron to Leave – GQ

The post Linkage appeared first on Caveman Circus.


Pretty Girls Make The World Go Round

A Heavy Metal Dose Of AWESOME To Help You Celebrate Friday

The Daily Man-Up

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New York is three hours ahead of California, but that does not make California slow

New York is three hours ahead of California, but that does not make California slow

Cameroon is six hours ahead of New York but it does not make New York slow.

Someone graduated from college at 22 but waited five years before securing a job.

Someone became a CEO at 25 but died at 50.

Someone became a CEO at 50 but lived to 90 years.

Someone is still single,

While another is married with children

Everyone in this world works based on their own time zone.

People around you might seem to be ahead of you.

That’s total fine. Some are behind you.

Everyone is running their own race in their own time zone.

Don’t envy or mock them.

They are in their own time zone and you are in yours.

Life is about waiting for the right moment to react.

So RELAX.

You’re not late

You’re not early

You’re very much on time

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I Think We Can All Use A Reminder Of How Great A Human Being Mister Rogers Was

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mr rogers

1. Once, on a fancy trip up to a PBS exec’s house, he heard the limo driver was going to wait outside for 2 hours, so he insisted the driver come in and join them (which flustered the host). On the way back, Rogers sat up front, and when he learned that they were passing the driver’s home on the way, he asked if they could stop in to meet his family. According to the driver, it was one of the best nights of his life—the house supposedly lit up when Rogers arrived, and he played jazz piano and bantered with them late into the night. Further, like with the reporters, Rogers sent him notes and kept in touch with the driver for the rest of his life.

2. “Certain fundamentalist preachers hated him because, apparently not getting the “kindest man who ever lived” memo, they would ask him to denounce homosexuals. Mr. Rogers’s response? He’d pat the target on the shoulder and say, “God loves you just as you are.” Rogers even belonged to a “More Light” congregation in Pittsburgh, a part of the Presbyterian Church dedicated to welcoming LGBT persons to full participation in the church.”

3. According to a TV Guide piece on him, Fred Rogers drove a plain old Impala for years. One day, however, the car was stolen from the street near the TV station. When Rogers filed a police report, the story was picked up by every newspaper, radio and media outlet around town. Amazingly, within 48 hours the car was left in the exact spot where it was taken from, with an apology on the dashboard. It read, “If we’d known it was yours, we never would have taken it.”

4. He basically saved public television. In 1969 the government wanted to cut public television funds. Mister Rogers then went to Washington where he gave an amazing merely six minute speech. By the end of the speech not only did he charm the hostile Senators, he got them to double the budget they would have initially cut down. The whole thing can be found on youtube, a video called “Mister Rogers defending PBS to the US Senate.”

5. Most people have heard of Koko, the Stanford-educated gorilla who could speak about 1000 words in American Sign Language, and understand about 2000 in English. What most people don’t know, however, is that Koko was an avid Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood fan. As Esquire reported, when Fred Rogers took a trip out to meet Koko for his show, not only did she immediately wrap her arms around him and embrace him, she did what she’d always seen him do onscreen: she proceeded to take his shoes off!

6. Once while rushing to a New York meeting, there were no cabs available, so Rogers and one of his colleagues hopped on the subway. Esquire reported that the car was filled with people, and they assumed they wouldn’t be noticed. But when the crowd spotted Rogers, they all simultaneously burst into song, chanting "It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood." The result made Rogers smile wide.

7. Mr. Rogers made a point of mentioning out loud when he was feeding his fish after he got a letter from a family whose blind daughter asked him to do so, because she couldn’t tell if the fish were being fed. 

The post I Think We Can All Use A Reminder Of How Great A Human Being Mister Rogers Was appeared first on Caveman Circus.

A Few Photos To Remind You That Life Is Beautiful

A Few Clips Guaranteed To Make You Feel Better About Life

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98 year old finds out how old he really is

 

Dad’s home from work! 

 

Making sure the baby isn’t cold 

 

Author Tomi Adeyemi holding a copy of her book for the first time

 

“You’re home! Rub my belly!”

 

“Just don’t, human.”

 

Blind cat gives his favourite pianist a hug every time he hears him play

 

Enjoy the moment

 

In 1981, Mr. Rogers had a segment on his TV series where a disabled boy named Jeffrey Erlanger described to the audience what it was like to be handicapped and in a wheelchair. 18 years later, Jeff surprised Mr. Rogers with an appearance during his induction into the Television Hall Of Fame

 

The post A Few Clips Guaranteed To Make You Feel Better About Life appeared first on Caveman Circus.

The Dumping Grounds

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Casually Explained: Introverts and Extraverts

 

Teary-Eyed Elon Musk On Not Giving Up, Even When Your Heroes Are Against You

 

A USAF A-10C Thunderbolt II strikes an insurgent vehicle on January 24, 2018

 

Teacher Gives Fake Spelling Test as April Fools Prank

 

‘Hulk’ Brothers Risk Death By Injecting Muscle-Building Chemicals

 

What happened to MGMT

 

A Night At The Garden – In 1939, 20,000 Americans rallied in New York’s Madison Square Garden to celebrate the rise of Nazism – an event largely forgotten from American history

 

The post The Dumping Grounds appeared first on Caveman Circus.


Linkage

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A damn fine collection of bewbs, awesomeness and everything inbetween – Leenks

Anti-hooker lawmaker allegedly used taxpayer money for sex with escort – NY Post

SeaWorld Admits To Giving Orcas Anti-Anxiety Drugs – The Dodo

YouTube suspends Logan Paul’s ad revenue, blames ‘recent pattern of behavior – The Verge

A Dick Pill That Actually Works – Amazon

University of Wisconsin-Madison to offer free tuition for families making less than $56K – The Hill

26 Facts That Will Ruin Your Childhood – Ranker

Joaquin Phoenix Has Agreed to Play The Joker in a Martin Scorsese-Produced Origin Movie – Maxim

Study finds Americans who join ISIS are disappointed by the experience – AL

Looking To Buy Bitcoins? Here’s What You Need To Know – Underground Finance

The company that made Candy Crush was acquired for 5.9 billion while Lucasfilm was purchased by Disney for only 4 billion – Wired

High-School Coach ‘Ignored’ Boy’s Screams as Teammates Raped Him, Lawsuit Claims – The Daily Beast

Military veterans defy Jeff Sessions, fight for medical marijuana to kick opioid addiction – CNBC

Natalie Halcro Owns Instagram – Heyman Hustle

Is the Universe a conscious mind? – Aeon

7 Damaging Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders – Thrive

Abigail Ratchford is a looker (nsfw) – Celeb J

What A Lifetime Of Adderall Does To Your Brain –

Katy Perry, Kirsten Dunst and Other Random Women – G-Celeb

Russian hackers found to be targeting US military contractors – AP News

The post Linkage appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Level Up With Some Motivation And CONQUER Your Week!

Hot Instagram Girl Of The Day: Levi

The Daily Man-Up

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You are where you’re supposed to be.

At this very moment, you are where you’re supposed to be. No matter your age, your past, or your present, this can be a new starting point if you choose it to be so. To understand this you have to let go of the natural human desire to compare. You can’t compare your life to that of another. They’re where they’re supposed to be and you are where you’re supposed to be. It is. “It” cannot change.

To live a great life as you define it you have to love where you are in life. You have to see it as both a blessing and a challenge. There are too many things to count that you can be grateful for, but this doesn’t mean you should settle. Life isn’t static, nor is your journey through it.

Where you end up isn’t going to be where you are, but it’s up to you if you end up a better person, a stronger man, a tougher man, a more successful man, or if you regress, or if you simply remain the same. Don’t wish you were somewhere else living the life of someone else. This is your life. Be thankful for where you are then work on making things better, becoming better.

You’ll end up where you deserve to end up.

When where you end up in life isn’t dependent on extenuating circumstances or outward entities, things, your boss, the markets, your teachers or your parents, you’re given complete control over your fate. The reality is that this is the only way for a man who wants to make something of himself.

Those that believe their lives are decided by where they’re born, the limitations or obstacles they’ve been given, are relegated to a life within the confines of a predetermined fate. The truth is, your truth depends on your outlook on life and your actions. If you truly believe that you have control over where you end up in life you’re going to do everything within your power to end up as the man you want to be, living the life you want to live.

Those who aren’t of this belief won’t work as hard, they won’t take the same risks and they won’t have the same energy. Just like we don’t take the same care in spending someone else’s money, we won’t take the same care and passion living a life that we don’t feel is completely under our control.

How you view the world can either give you power or take it away. The beauty is that you have the power to choose how you view the world and your role in it. Bad things will happen to you, things that you didn’t at all deserve, but how you choose to react, whether you fight or lie down in defeat, will determine where you end up and who you become. Choose how you react with courage.

Check out the rest of the article at Chad Howse

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18 People Describe The Unwritten Laws Of Their Country

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1. Mainland China: Do not buy traditional Chinese silk clothes and from a shop also sells wreath. (no matter how beautiful they are) Those clothes are for dead people, and that shop is a shroud shop. You have no idea how horrifying to see a foreigner wearing them and walking down the street.

2. Vietnam – commit to crossing the road. I know it looks scary due to the endless scooter stampede but if you just cross at a steady pace, they’ll avoid you. Do not try to dodge or make sudden movements, you will get your ass hit and there will be no sympathy.

3. In Malaysia, it is absolutely normal for someone to ask you what race you are. It’s not meant to be offensive, just general curiousity.

4. Finland: Do not go too near anyone. Our personal space is huge.

5. When going to a friend’s house and the family offers you have dinner with them, it is impolite to say no. Also, they would insist that you stay over in case you’ve had too much a lambanog and will give you the next best mattress they have. Before you leave, accept the leftover they give should you be hungry on your way back home.

Filipino hospitality at its essence.

6. In America, if you rent a bike, you should be aware that even if the bike lane is painted onto the street in a rainbow pattern with flashing neon lights, nobody gives a shit. You are not safe in the bike lane.

7. I’m gonna give you guys some guidelines for southern Italy anyway:

  • Be loud!
  • If someone is doing it, you can do it too.
  • Whatever you need, most people would love to help you, but usually have no clue on how to communicate with you. Make sure you appreciate the effort, no matter how clumsy.
  • Both guys and girls say hi with a kiss on each cheek.
  • No such thing as personal space.
  • If you’re driving, be extremely careful. Everything is supposed to be an advice, not actual laws. (I mean everything is supposed to be laws, is just taken as an advice).
  • If you happen to have some friend’s mother or grandmother cook for you, make sure you compliment her thoroughly and clearly state that you never had such an amazing meal wherever you’re from (there’s a reasonable chance that could actually be true).
  • If you’re clubbing, don’t randomly approach girls, unless you really know what you’re doing. Guys tend to be overprotective with the girls that “belong” to their group.
  • If you’re a girl, you’re gonna get hit on no matter what. Try not to be too rude and just dismiss the guy laughing about it.
  • We wear shoes in the house. Unless you’re hanging out with a younger crowd (then it’s completely fine to get your shoes off) keep your shoes on.
  • You can drink wherever you please
  • Don’t wear white socks with sandals, you’re gonna be laughed at. Either wear shoes or sandals with no socks.
  • If you show any sort of effort of speaking Italian, you’re gonna be loved for it.
  • I’m pretty sure this covers most of the basics, if anyone is curious we could get into more detail.

8. Singaporean here!

You are allowed to wear Flip flops and shorts wherever you go. The fancy city area? Flip flop and Shorts are perfect. That 5 star hotel? Flip flops are welcomed. Public transport? You are weird if you do not wear them.

9. Denmark: DO NOT STAND OR WALK IN THE BIKELANE! You will get yelled at and/or run over.

10. I live in Japan. When riding an escalator, everyone stands on the left if they’re going to stand so that people that want to walk can pass by on the right.

11. New Zealand – You don’t go tramping if you don’t know anything about the weather or the tramp (tramp=overnight hike).

12. I live in Korea. Off the top of my head:

  • people are going to touch / gently push / bump into you in public places, without saying anything like “excuse me” or the Korean equivalent – this is a crowded place, get used to it
  • small talk with clerks or whatever in public places is not expected and is downright strange
  • you should always be extra deferential to elders, especially if you’re young (say under 30) (giving them your seat on the subway, letting them cut the line, things like that)
  • people will ask you your age not because they’re rude, but because in Korea it’s important for establishing how they should address you when they speak
  • The eldest person at the table should start eating first. Don’t pick up your chopsticks / spoon / whatever until s/he’s done so and clearly started eating.
  • Never leave the table until the eldest person has finished or given some signal that it’s ok to leave, like saying the equivalent of “that was delicious.”
  • Soup on the right, rice on the left. Use your spoon for rice and soup, chopsticks for side dishes (kimchi, etc.).
  • Never stick your chopsticks into your rice and leave them there sticking out, as this is reminiscent of something done at a ritual for honoring ancestors and makes people think of death.
  • If younger, do not speak while eating a meal until spoken to by elders. (in formal situations)
  • For shared side dishes / broths / etc., do not mix things together, pick something up with your chopsticks and then leave it in the bowl, that sort of thing.
  • If younger and drinking alcohol, turn away from your elders when you take a sip.
  • If drinking alcohol, monitor your elders’ glasses and always offer to re-fill it for them. Do not ask for a re-fill / fill your own glass. When filling someone else’s, pour with two hands on the bottle or either pour with one hand holding the bottle and the other touching your arm (a sign of respect).
  • PDAs are frowned upon, even minor things like a long kiss
  • same-gender touching/hugging/holding hands is common, without there being any sort of homosexual connotation
  • men should avoid going shirtless in public, even when exercising or running or something like that (some guys even keep their shirts on at the beach, and not because they’re overweight or something)

13. UK. You never, ever, jump a queue.

14. I’m from Macedonia. Don’t live in Macedonia.

15. Ireland (and maybe the UK) Penneys (Primark) is the largest, cheapest clothes store you can find in any major town or city. No matter what you want, they have it.

You do not go to Penneys to have a good time. There’s no leisurely browsing here. Penneys is the fucking IKEA of the fashion world. You get in and you get out or it will destroy your soul.

No matter what time you go, it will be busy. The aisles fit approx. 1 person, and there will be prams. There will be one dress of your size on the rack if you’re lucky. The hangers won’t match the size, so you’ll have to flick through every dress looking at the tag to find it. Do not be surprised if the entire rack is the smallest size. If there’s a sale, everything will be a tangled mess. Approach it like you would Black Friday.

Irish children are already angry coming into Penneys. They know. Expect screaming and tears, and angry mothers who will snap at them or you, depending on which enters their personal space first.

You’ll be queueing behind 20 people and all of them will be buying a whole new wardrobe. Don’t look on either side of you. Penneys will try to tempt you with more things (and abandoned potential purchases) on your journey, both in your reach and just far enough away to make you leave the queue. If you stay the course, you can be out of there in ten minutes.

16. Alright, so here’s some French stuff, specifically Parisian.

ALWAYS greet the people working in a shop with bonjour. Even if you don’t speak to them again or leave without buying anything, you also have to say au revoir. It’s rude not to.

French waiters might seem rude to some, but they’re just doing their job, and that doesn’t include the whole dog and pony show pretend to be your friend thing. They want to know what you want, they want to bring it to you, then they want to collect your money. In fancy restaurants it’s a little more formal but in cafés don’t be offended if you have to flag them down to get another coffee. They don’t have time to hover around twice or three times while you make up your mind on what you want. It’s not personal, they’re just busy and don’t see making friends as part of their job.

If you’re staying with French people, always ask if they need help in the kitchen. They will refuse, but you’re expected to get up and help anyway. They might still protest, but you should still try to do the dishes or something.

In many metro cars, the doors still have a manual open signal. If you’re closest to the exit door, you’re expected to twist the lever and make it open. Do this just a second before the train actually stops to look like a local. And push down hard, those things are tougher than you would think to activate.

If you accidentally make eye contact with a random person on the street, don’t smile. You will be considered a weirdo.

If you want to rent a car in France and can’t drive stick, you have to go to the airport. If you speak good enough French the clerk will make fun of you for not being able to drive a stick.

To successfully drive in Paris, you have to drive like a total asshole. None of this polite waiting for a gap in traffic to turn left. Just fucking go for it and expect everyone else to stop. No one is insured at the arc de triomphe, so drive through that particular roundabout at your own risk. Nobody honks except in huge emergencies. And if traffic is suddenly stopped in front of you, turn on your hazards.

17. Germany:

  • our waiters usually earn above minimum wage, so you never tip more than 15%, normally 10% for small amounts and a bit less for larger bills.
  • on the escalator, if you want to stand, stand on the right side and let others pass left.
  • if you rent a bike, don’t drive like your own granny, drive fast and if you want to pause, get off the bike lane. Also, don’t walk on our fucking bike lanes, they are clearly marked (blue signs with a white bike and mostly red paint on the bike lane). If you approach a tram or bus stop, brake and let people get on and off the train.
  • queue from the right at things like a burger joint so that passer-byes are not blocked. At museums, trains or the airport, queue frontally.
  • yes, it is common to encounter nude people of all ages in the sauna or at some lakes or even at some few parks in the city. Don’t stare and for god’s sake don’t comment on this.
  • not everyone here is from Bavaria or thinks Bavaria is great. Likewise, not everyone loves beer and sausages.
  • and don’t mention the war, k?

18. In Canada, we’re not all super friendly. And we’re super sorry about that. 

The post 18 People Describe The Unwritten Laws Of Their Country appeared first on Caveman Circus.

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