The SEALs have always had an unspoken creed of valor and honor. In 2005, a formal creed was adopted in order to clearly delineate the values of this special team.

United States Navy SEAL

In times of war or uncertainty there is a special breed of warrior ready to answer our Nation’s call. A common man with uncommon desire to succeed.

Forged by adversity, he stands alongside America’s finest special operations forces to serve his country, the American people, and protect their way of life.

I am that man.

My Trident is a symbol of honor and heritage. Bestowed upon me by the heroes that have gone before, it embodies the trust of those I have sworn to protect. By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day.

My loyalty to Country and Team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own.

I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men.

Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.

We expect to lead and be led. In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. I lead by example in all situations.

I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.

We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me – my technical skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail. My training is never complete.

We train for war and fight to win. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of combat power to bear in order to achieve my mission and the goals established by my country. The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required yet guided by the very principles that I serve to defend.

Brave men have fought and died building the proud tradition and feared reputation that I am bound to uphold. In the worst of conditions, the legacy of my teammates steadies my resolve and silently guides my every deed.

I will not fail.

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There’s only one way to get into college in the People’s Republic of China, and that’s by passing the “gaokao,” or college enterance exam. For two days in early June every year, China comes to a standstill as high school students who are about to graduate take their exams. 
Construction work is halted near examination halls, so as not to disturb the students, and traffic is diverted. Ambulances are on call outsidein case of nervous collapses, and police cars patrol to keep the streets quiet. Radio talkshow hosts discuss the format and questions in painstaking detail, and when the results come out, the top scorers are feted nationally. A high or low mark determines life opportunities and earning potential. That score is the most important number of any Chinese child’s life, the culmination of years of schooling, memorisation and constant stress.

Students taking an English exam in an exam hall at Dongguan University. English is one of three main areas of testing, along with math and Chinese.

Art students draw sketches in Jianan, Shandong province.

A mother waits outside in Hefei, Anhui province. In some parts of the country, authorities banned outdoor square dancing (a popular activity for elderly Chinese people) within 500 feet of testing buildings because of the loud music.

Students taking the bus to their exam in Liu’an, Anhui province. Thousands of family and friends crowded the streets in support as they left for the test.

Zheng Dong (left) studies in a hotel room in Shanghai near the site of his exam. In Beijing, over 1,700 taxi drivers offered to give free rides to students in town for the test.

Invigilators monitor examinees in Suining, Sichuan in case of any sudden cheating. Leading up to gaokao, some high schools place security cameras in classrooms to monitor students in case of laziness.

A student takes a quick study break. Some schools have been criticized for producing “robots” who study 15 hours per day for gaokao.

Students self-studying at night in Hefel, Anhui province. 9.8 million students took gaokao last year, compared to 1.8 million students who take the SAT.

Parents in Huaibei, Anhui wait for their children to finish the exam.

Leading up to the exam, students and teachers take part in pressure-release activities, like this trust-fall.

Students walk by Confucius after a rainy morning in Wuhan. Many temples were flooded in the weeks leading up to the test with parents praying to Confucius, China’s great educator.

A security check in Shenyang, Lioning province. Authorities vowed to crack down on cheating during the exams last year.

A hidden camera inside a pen (second from the left) and a receiver disguised as an eraser confiscated by police. 

Glasses containing a hidden camera and a coin with a tiny receiver.

A more complex cheating contraption in Chengdu, Sichuan provence.

Confiscated cellphones and receivers. The Ministry of Education said students caught cheating would be stripped of enrollment qualifications for one to three years.

Police tried to contain students as they lined up to register for the exam.

Parents in Shanghai waited for the exams to finish.

Applicants walking outside after finishing their first day of testing. 

A teacher checking examinees names in Hefel. Because of the importance of one test, “gaokao-sweatshops” — high schools that prepare students exclusively for the test — have become increasingly common.

These students took oxygen while studying chemistry at a hospital in Suining.

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De Beer mine workers are X-rayed at the end of every shift before leaving the diamond mines. Kimberly, South Africa. 1954

Each day at the end of the shift, the miners would have to go through the x-ray machine for inspection. Some miners would swallow diamonds, even hide them in self-inflicted incisions in their legs. According to a Botswana based mine, 36% of the workers smuggle diamonds out of its mines by hiding them in the anus, 30% hide them between their buttocks, 14% use their socks and hair, 5% conceal the gems in their mouths, 2% place the gems under their scrotum, 2% hide them in their clothes, 2% use their underwear and 10% use other means.

Interesting facts:

• Contrary to popular opinion, diamonds aren’t rare or even hard to find. They aren’t rare in an economic sense because supply exceeds demand. To maintain the high price of diamonds, De Beers creates an artificial scarcity by stockpiling mined diamonds and selling them in small amounts.

• The concept that an engagement ring is an ancient tradition that is deeply embedded in human history in societies around the world is false. The idea of a diamond engagement ring is roughly a century old, and it was invented by the De Beers cartel. In the 1940s De Beers launched a long-running propaganda campaign around the theme “A diamond is forever”. Over many decades, the company spent hundreds of millions of dollars to market the notion that diamonds signify romance and love. The campaign involved sending diamond lecturers to classrooms to target high school students, placing diamonds in the fingers of Hollywood stars and suggesting stories to newspapers on how diamond rings symbolized romance.

Atomic cloud over Nagasaki, Sept 8,1945, taken 15+ minutes after the explosion, seen from a distance of 15 km. Photo by Hiromihi Matsuda

Unedited footage of the bombing of Nagasaki (silent)

This silent film shows the final preparation and loading of the “Fat Man” bomb into “Bockscar,” the plane which dropped the bomb on Nagasaki. It then shows the Nagasaki explosion from the window of an observation plane. This footage comes from Los Alamos National Laboratory. 

Apollo 1 Crew: Virgil I. Grissom, Edward H. White II, and Roger B. Chaffee

The crew of Apollo 1 relaxes during training, 1966

The Apollo 1 Tragedy

th orbit with Virgil “Gus” Grissom, Edward White and Roger Chaffee on board. Tragically, however, the spacecraft was destroyed in a cabin fire during a launch pad test 50 years ago.

On January 27, 1967 Apollo 1 was sitting on the launch pad atop a Saturn 1B rocket at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station Launch Complex 34, the precursor to the Saturn V. It was set to perform a “plugs-out” test, during which both the launch vehicle and the spacecraft were not loaded with fuel and all pyrotechnic systems were disabled. The task was merely to prepare Apollo 1 for its launch on February 21, 1967 by running through various system procedures.

During the second run through the checklist, the fire started. The 100% oxygen atmosphere fed the electrical fire, the increasing pressure rupturing the capsule wall. Shrapnel injured ground crew, while smoke billowed out to smother them. Within 26 seconds, the horrified ground team heard garbled voices yelling, and saw flame sweeping across the camera. It took five full minutes for the ground crew to peel open all three hatches, trading off as heat and smoke forced them to retreat.

 Related: Audio recording from the ground loop radio transmission between Apollo One, the Operations and Checkout Building, and the Complex 34 blockhouse control room during the Apollo One fire on January 27, 1967.

Note handed to President Johnson about fatal Apollo 1 fire

The crew of the sinking Japanese air craft Zuikaku salutes as the flag is lowered for the last time on October 25, 1944. The ship would sink with the loss of 843 men

A Japanese dive bomber’s final moments, 1945

The torpedoed Japanese destroyer Yamakaze, as seen through the periscope of an American submarine, USS Nautilus, in June 1942

A German submarines control room in 1918

Two children wearing Ku Klux Klan robes and hoods stand on either side of Dr. Samuel Green, Ku Klux Klan Imperial Wizard, at an initiation ceremony. Atlanta, Georgia. July 24, 1948 

On 1944, Dr. Samuel Green founded the Associated Klans of Georgia (AKG); their first cross burning ocurred on October 1945 atop Stone Mountains, Confederate memorial where the Second Klan was founded on 1915.

Dr. Green started his first major initiation ceremony on May 9, 1946 by “naturalizing” 1000 “aliens” or non-members, and soon extended his organisation to Alabama, Tennessee, South Carolina and Florida.

During its existence, the AKG’s “wrecking teams” engaged in murders, floggings and the intimidation of those Blacks who managed to get registered on the voters’ rolls, by burning crosses or sending little coffins, for which he was rewarded by the Governor of Georgia by becoming his aide-de-camp.

Opposed to Communism, trade unions and Catholicism, they preached anti-semitism and white supremacy, fighting against the civil rights movement and wanting to quell the new assertiveness of retirning African American veterans, or “uppity niggahs” as Green called them.

They were infiltrated by several informants, federal agents, and investigative journalists, whose the most notorious was Stetson Kennedy, who wrote I Rode With The Ku Klux Klan (1954) and who inspired the “Clan of the Fiery Cross”, where Superman fought Klansmen.

On 1949, he was elected Imperial Wizard; two weeks later, on August 18, he died from a stroke. His organisation splintered soon after.

This photo features Green’s last mass initiation meeting.

An Afghan mujahideen aims a FIM-92 Stinger missile at passing Soviet aircraft, 1988

The CIA sent 2,300 Stinger missiles to various mujahedin outfits throughout Afghanistan over the course of the war. Also it’s important to remember that US decision makers were risking a lot by implementing the Stingers in Afghanistan. First, the potential for those missiles to leave Afghanistan and be used on civilian or pro-US targets was large and second, the Stinger was US made which would give the Soviets concrete evidence of the US’s participation in arming the mujahideen. Evidently, the situation was so bad at the time that these huge risks had to be ignored and the Stingers were shipped to Pakistan for distribution in Afghanistan.

How To Fire A Stinger Missile

The Liberation of Bergen-Belsen, 1946

Auschwitz death camp guards on their day off

Rudolf Hoess, the commandant of the Auschwitz concentration camp, before getting hanged next to the crematorium at the camp, 1947

Höss was tried and found guilty of murder by the Supreme National Tribunal of Poland and sentenced to death. The sentence was carried out on 16 April next to the crematorium of the former Auschwitz I camp. He was hanged on a short drop gallows constructed specifically for that purpose, at the location of the camp’s Gestapo. Forty other Auschwitz SS officers were also tried by the Tribunal, with 23 receiving death sentences. From that verdict:

Torturing of prisoners [of Auschwitz] already tormented to the extreme [by extrajudicial means], is the evidence of inhuman savagery perpetrated by those defendants who as a result of the trial were sentenced to death. The listed violent crimes committed by named defendants, who all took smaller or larger part in the mass murder of prisoners, also reveal that the accused were involved in the acts of killing for pleasure, and not pursuant to orders of their superiors. If it were not for their expressed desire to kill, they would have otherwise displayed elements of sympathy for the victims, or at least show indifference to their plight, but not torture them to death.

Memory of the Camps By Alfred Hitchcock 

Fifty years ago, film crews for the Allied Expeditionary Force entered Nazi concentration camps to find atrocities beyond their imagination. Kept in a vault at Londons Imperial War Museum since 1945, the film shows tragic images of the genocide including scenes of gas chambers, experimentation labs and the haunted, starving survivors. Some footage was filmed moments before the camps where liberated, as Nazi soldiers hurried to cover evidence.

US Marines returning fire during the battle of Hue, 1968

Actual Voices of Black Slaves Recorded In 1930s and 40s

Paper boys at 2 A.M. about to start their morning rounds. February 12, 1908

Jim Morrison performing at Fantasy Faire and Magic Musical Festival, Northridge, LA. 1967

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Dogs break up cat fight 

An ex-meth addict describes in detail what it feels like to take meth

This kid is a prime canidate for getting turned out in prison

Neo-Nazi Subject Of VICE’s Charlottesville Documentary Sobs On YouTube After Warrant Issued For His Arrest

Gordon Ramsay: An Idiot Sandwich

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The Scientists Who Shape What and How We Eat – The Ringer

Report: LeBron James Is ‘100 Percent’ Leaving Cleveland After This Season – Maxim

Trump Mourns Loss of Our ‘Beautiful’ Confederate Statues – Newser

Check your wallet – these rare dimes are worth nearly $2 million – Rare

How To Summon A Demon Of Your Choice, And What To Do After – Ranker

There Is A Chick-fil-A In The Atlanta Falcons New Stadium, But It’s Closed On Sundays – Daily Snark

Joint Chiefs denounce racism in stark terms as Trump’s isolation grows – LA Times

15 Boys Contract Rabies After Having Sex With A Donkey – All That Is Interesting

An Amazing VA Hospital Discovery Helps You Lose Weight- Simple Fat Fix

Applebee’s Gives Up On Millennials After Failed Rebranding Efforts – NPR

5 Simple Tips From The World’s Best Athletes That Can Help You Be Your Best – Medium

Get Ready To Fall Hard For Model Alana Paolucci – Mandatory

Cats That Didn’t Want To Be In Your Stupid Selfies – Sad And Useless

Kyrie Irving reportedly willing to sign long-term if traded to one title contender – FanBuzz

Hot girls who are generous with the cleavage – Radass

‘Star Wars’ Obi-Wan Kenobi Film in the Works (Exclusive) – The Hollywood Reporter

The 1000 Best Songs On Spotify – Thrillist

The Eater Guide to the Whole Entire World – Eater

38 Hottest Instagram Pics of Alysha Nett – Regretful Morning

A damn fine collection of bewbs, awesomeness and everything in between – Leenks

Kate Upton’s Massive Funbag Goodness – Hollywood Tuna

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You know you should be doing something — whether that’s working on your project, being present with your loved ones, eating healthy, or a number of other things — and you knowingly act in contradictory ways.

Like me, you may justify your behaviors and convince yourself you’re on the path toward your dreams. But an honest look in the mirror would reveal that you’re deceiving yourself. After all, Gandhi also said, “To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.”

Your behaviors directly translate into your results. And when you consciously sabotage yourself, you cannot have confidence. Instead, you’ll have identity confusion.

The small stuff is the big stuff. First things must come first. Motivation and momentum are very fickle. It doesn’t matter how much you currently have. You will lose it if you don’t maintain the garden of your life. Which, is a daily process.

How close to your values and goals are your living?

How internally-conflicted are you?

I’m not above this. My behaviors often contradict my values and goals. Perfection shouldn’t be the objective. However, consistency and implementation of our values and goals creates substantial momentum and results.

There’s no way around it. As Aristotle has said, “You are what you repeatedly do.” Or perhaps Albus Dumbledore put it best, “It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.”

We Live Our Lives In 24 Hour Periods

We all have 24 hours each day. If your days aren’t solid, your life won’t be solid. Once you master your days, success is inevitable.

How was your day, today?

Seriously.

Look back on all the things you did today. Did you act like the person you wish to become?

If you repeated today every day for the next year, realistically, where would you end up?

If you are to really accomplish your goals and dreams, how much differently would your regular day need to be than today was?

In order to achieve your dreams, what does a “normal” day look like?

Check out the rest of the article here

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Check out Ollie Gabriel, he is bringing authentic soul back reminiscent of Otis Redding and James Brown.  It’s dope, check it out.

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A Good Women Is An Investment. A Bad Bitch Is A Bill.

We’ve been together for more than eight years. We lived inIireland 3 km from Dublin in a rented apartment on the €188 unemployment benefit. I had no job because I spent all my time at the gym. I believed that i would be the champion and she always did too. She believed in me despite the lack of money. Dee Devlin tried to get me to eat right and always keep my daily regiment. She dedicated herself to it. Coming home after an exhausting training session she always said ‘Conor it’s okay you can do it!’

Bellator allowed ESPN to take portraits of their fighters immediately after the Madison Square Garden fight (article)

UFC Fighter Nordine Taleb is now a personal bodyguard for soccer star Neymar

Brock Lesnar at age 17

Cracked Jaw

Caved-In Skull

That laugh at the end. Skill respects skill

Odell Beckham One-Handed Catch

Sideline reporter taking one for the team 

Spotted during the second inning of Yankees game

Tim Tebow is a great person

Red Wings vs. Sabres, 1971

Curved Goal by Paul Pogba

Professional Ultimate Frisbee

Kori Carter’s ‘Game-face’ 

Wrestling Oil Check

Women Water Polo: fight broke out, then the “benches cleared”

Rare pic of Vince McMahon and his shiner 

Why Vince McMahon got a black eye…The Montreal Screwjob

Bret Hart was about to jump ship to WCW after contract negotiations with WWE went south, and he didn’t want to drop his WWE title in his home country of Canada.

McMahon, the greatest mind in wrestling, knew Shawn Michaels’ had to win the title in Canada, and did everything he could to make sure this happened. This meant Vince coming out, and calling for the bell, without Bret Hart ever actually submitting to Michaels’ version of Bret’s “Sharpshooter.”

From there, Bret Hart lost his cool, and went as far as to spit on McMahon during what was left of the pay-per-view. This is where the documentary “Wrestling with Shadows” comes in, as it gives us a view backstage where Bret becomes physical with Vince.

Most popular athletes on social media (Facebook + Twitter)

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This is why dogs are the best

Franck Ribéry gives a piggyback ride 

Wait for it… 

Coach tells walk-on kicker he’ll get a full ride if he nails a 53-yard field Goal

Facing his fears

Friends welcome girl who got her prosthetic leg set up after she got back to school

This little boy asked his mom if he could go hug the police officer

He decided to become the drum

Friend helps a father teach survival skills

‘Our son is autistic and loves it when the garbage truck comes by our house. This time the garbage man gave him the most amazing present’

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Americans of Chinese heritage with Southern Accents living in the Mississippi Delta

The Shockmaster!

You don’t hear news like this every day

Dude Has A Crazy Muscle Cramp On His Leg!

Drawing The Dark Knight: Jim Lee Draws Batman

An airport parking lot in Los Angeles has become an improvised village of airline workers

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Paris Hilton thinks she would have been the next Princess Diana if it weren’t for her infamous sex tape – Rare

Lilly The Barista Might Just Be The Hottest Barista Of All – Mandatory

Steve Bannon Is Leaving White House – Newser

Why The Ancient Greeks Loved Small Penises And Shunned Big Ones – Ranker

Meet The Mexican Selena Gomez Doppelgänger Who Is Confusing the Hell Out of the Internet – Maxim

Can Rotten Tomatoes Crush a Movie at the Box Office? – The Ringer

A new coach has jumped into the Top 5 highest paid after enormous contract extension – FanBuzz

Eat This Junk Food To Reverse Dementia – Nutrition Healing

An 18th Century Guide To Sex Positions – Dangerous Minds

100 Books Every Man Should Read – The Art Of Manliness

18 Men Reveal How Important Being Able To Cum Inside A Girl Without A Condom Is To Them – Thought Catalog

12 Lessons You Learn or Regret Forever – Entrepreneur

Renee Somerfield drops some massive bikini cleavage! – Yes Bitch

The lives of bitcoin miners digging for digital gold in Inner Mongolia – Quartz

Life As A Gay Gang Member – PS Mag

Dove Cameron, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Other Random Ladies – G-Celeb

A damn fine collection of bewbs, awesomeness and everything in between – Radass

Elizabeth Hurley Is Now A Professional Instagram Model – Hollywood Tuna

Robin Thicke Put a Baby in His 22-Year-Old Girlfriend – The Blemish

Here’s why four hours of sleep is terrible for you — even if you don’t feel tired – Business Insider

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Instagram

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It’s NEVER too late. You’re NEVER too old.

Guard retention flow

Single Leg counter to armbar

Crazy armbar sequence

Andre Galvao’s movement workout

How to defeat a spazzy white belt

Back mount armbar finish!

Lapel Drag

Sick Armbar

Awesome transition to the back by Paulo Miyao

250lb Bodybuilder vs 150lb Jiu-Jitsu Student

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Never miss forearm day

News Caster from the last time a Solar Eclipse was visible from America

Golden Eagles talons

Battle-scarred Hippo

World’s Largest Floating Solar Farm

A floating solar farm is more expensive to build than one on land, because it must be designed to withstand salt and humidity from water. But it has advantages: It can be built on otherwise unused surface. It works more efficiently, because the presence of water cools the panels as they generate electricity. It can mitigate evaporation of water, keeping the lake full for longer.

A Music Typewriter from 1936

Someone made a collage of headlines saying what millennials are killing

Pipe Slum in India

Ruined temple Covered in Volcanic Ash

New 50ft statue “Dignity” that just went up in South Dakota 

The stainless steel statue, by South Dakota artist laureate Dale Lamphere, depicts an Indigenous woman in Plains-style dress receiving a star quilt. The sculpture honors the culture of the Lakota and Dakota peoples who are indigenous to South Dakota.

The statue boldly proclaims that South Dakota’s Native cultures are alive, standing with dignity.

When interviewed after the dedication, Lamphere said “It’s been well received by the Native community, and by visitors from all over the country. My hope over time is it really gets people to think about the beauty of the native cultures.”

Serial Killer Rodney James Alcala on the Dating Game. He had already killed at least four women and is responsible for the murder of up to 50 women.

US Marine returns a flag he took from a fallen Japanese soldier during WWII to the soldier’s family. They had never received any of his remains or belongings until that moment

Marvin Strombo, who had taken the calligraphy-covered Japanese flag from a dead soldier at a World War II island battlefield 73 years ago, returned it Tuesday to the family of Sadao Yasue. They had never gotten his body or — until that moment — anything else of his.

Yasue and Tatsuya’s sister Sayoko Furuta, 93, sitting in her wheelchair, covered her face with both hands and wept silently as Tatsuya placed the flag on her lap. Strombo reached out and gently rubbed her shoulder.

‘‘I was so happy that I returned the flag,’’ Strombo said. ‘‘I can see how much the flag meant to her. That almost made me cry … It meant everything in the world to her.’’

The flag’s white background is filled with signatures of 180 friends and neighbors in this tea-growing mountain village of Higashishirakawa, wishing Yasue’s safe return. The signatures helped Strombo find its rightful owners.

The smell of the flag immediately brought back childhood memories. ‘‘It smelled like my good old big brother, and it smelled like our mother’s home cooking we ate together,’’ Tatsuya Yasue said. ‘‘The flag will be our treasure.’’

Extinct Animals

At DisneyLand all photos of Walt Disney have his cigarettes photo-shopped out

Ever wondered how reliable those age progression on missing persons are?

Woman marries daughter after the two ‘hit it off’

An Oklahoma woman and her biological adult daughter have both been arrested after local officials discovered the pair had married each other earlier this year.

Both Spann and 25-year-old daughter Misty have been arrested on charges of incest, which is a felony that carries a potential sentence of 10 years in prison. The Associated Press reported that the woman believed the marriage was acceptable because her name wasn’t on her daughter’s birth certificate.

Berlin Konzerthaus

Cockpit of Airbus A380 

These Are The Most Searched Plastic Surgery Procedures By State

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Check out this cool new video the homie sent over from LA based singer/songwriter, Opâru. Entitled “The Deep End”, it’s a trippy collage of nature combined with an urban landscape, set to indie electro pop. 

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What were you incarcerated for?

Marijuana possession. Serving 18 months

Wow, possesing marijuana gets you locked up with the same kind of people that rape people. Unbelievable. How much did you get caught with?

I got busted because I had a small grow set-up that supplied a few friends. I was a tinkerer (I’m an engineer by profession) and I was curious about hydro. I never sold anything. I got caught because a friend of a friend claimed I was some major league dealer. My house was raided and they found all 10 of my plants. No guns, no other drugs, just a small basement set-up.

Was 18 months the full sentence or did you get out early? What was the full list of counts you were convicted of or was it a plea?

It was 3 years, plus some time off after one of the counts was tossed upon appeal.

Was it a county, state or federal facility. Do you know what the other inmates were there for and is there a system to separate the inmates?

I was in a state facility that was massively over-crowded. Whatever structures they had went out the window when they needed space.

How often would they rape you?

It went on for about three months, several times a week. I stopped counting after the 20th time

Where would the rapes occur?

My cell, the work area, the exercise area.

In your cell? Jesus. Were they your cellmates?

One was.

Did you ever just let them rape you, or did you always fight back? And, by repeatedly, how many times are you talking about? How many different instances?

After the 10th time I gave up fighting. I have scars on my neck and on my chest from where they cut me for fighting. Every time it was deeper and more damaging. I didn’t want to die. The raped me several times a week over the course of a few months.

Whats your build? Did you stand a chance in defending yourself?

5’10, about 170. Average. It’s not about defending yourself. Two guys, both with knives? You’re going down.

Was it similar to the scene in American History X? If not, are there any depictions in popular culture that are more accurate?

If “Oz” wasn’t set in those weird fish tank things, but in regular cells or solitary units, it would be DEAD ON

How many other inmates were in the same situation

A great many of them. Gay guys in prison are pretty rare, and very fucking popular.

How did the prison officials respond when you told them what was happening?

They told me to "document every event with an officer". I tried that. They would nod and walk away.

Was it possible to request a cell change? Mention the rapes, or at least that he was threatening you, and they should move you, right?

Tried, many times. Denied.

Could you have have asked for protective custody? Or ad seg (administrative segregation)?

I asked. Denied.

Why not opt for solitary confinement?

23 hours in a room with a slit for day light and one hour to walk around a box? I’d be a vegetable now.

You mentioned “Oz” was dead on and that they didn’t protect you from other inmates. Where did you sit in the cafeteria? with whom? Is prison as racially segregated as they depict?

I ate my meals in my cell. Very racially segregated.

How did you decide who to hire for protection? Did your guy offer his services to you or how did that work?

He had a reputation for doing this. Some guys were just known for offering protection, I asked, he told me how much and where to send the money every month, once I started paying he watched out for me.

How much did this protection cost?

$500/month and $5000 total

How exactly does one get a bribe into jail?

My family would send $500 bucks from my accounts to his people every month.

How exactly did he protect you? Did he ever kick the rapist’s ass or did you tell the rapists you had someone covering you or what?

He broke my cellmates arm in two places.

Did the guy that was protecting you follow you around or did he keep an eye on you wherever you’d go? Or did you follow him?

After initially breaking my cellmates arm he just let it be known I was not to be fucked with. He had connections with the skinheads, that went far.

Any problems after that? And did this happen right when you started paying him?

Nope, after he was "on the job" I never had a problem.

Did the guy who broke your cellmate’s arm get more time for doing so?

My cellmate claimed it happened in an accident in a work area. He stuck to that story, though it was clear the guards and admin thought otherwise.

After the broken arm, did they show you any sense of respect or at least fear? or a sense of wishing for revenge? or was it just, shrug/whatever, that’s the way it goes?

He acted like I was not even there.

Did he ever become a friend or just stayed as an acquaintance/bodyguard? (aka Still in contact?)

Fuck no, he’s still in jail. If I saw him IRL I’d run away.

How are you now?

I’m day to day. I used to freak out thinking people could just look at me an KNOW I’d been raped. Now, I could give a fuck what people think of me. The situation made me stronger, but colder.

Are you currently in/seeking therapy? Do you find it helpful to talk about the experience? Have you shared it with anyone else in your life?

I’m in therapy yes. No one else knows about this but me.

If no one else knows it, what did your family members think they were paying for?

I told them I was getting threatened and my food stolen. I think, deep down, they knew. But we never talk about it.

Did you catch anything , STD wise?

Thankfully, no, I’m clean. Though I plan on getting tested every 3 months for the next few years. Peace of mind, HIV is sneaky.

How are your relationships with women now? Have you been in a relationship since your release, or any kind of sexual encounter? What’s it been like, is it traumatic or…I dunno, fulfilling or comforting in some way? Do you get flashbacks or anxiety attacks?

I have some anxiety. I don’t like anything sharp near me. I had a check-up last month and nearly flipped out when I saw the needle. I hate being locked in anywhere, need to know I can leave at a moment’s notice. I’ve only had sex with sex workers since my release. I’m a regular with a couple in my town. I don’t think I could handle a relationship.

Did the experience affect your sexuality in any way?

I’m only comforable with sex workers. I need to feel that I can end everything at any second and just leave, no need to explain. I have a couple women I see regularly, they both get it. I mean, I could be right in the middle of sex and just need to go, get out, almost run. How can you have a relationship like that?

I’m doing therapy, it’s getting better, but I don’t want to dump my shit on a relationship.

Has this incident changed your opinion on people in general? Do you find it harder to build relationships now that you’re out? I imagine as a male to be victimized in this way it would be hard to cope with at times, is it?

I’m less trusting. My cell mate played like a friend at first, got my guard down. I moved out of state, left most of my friends behind, but I’ve made a number of new ones here. My only sexual contact is with sex workers. I trust them, it’s safe and I make enough money to engage them regularly.

How are you managing to function as a human being? I don’t think I would want to live after something like that…hard enough watching the rape scene in American History X…

I watch comedies and animal shows man. I don’t even like cop shows these days. Life is too fucking short for all that dark shit.

I’m curious why people don’t sue the prison for not protecting them, especially when it happens so frequently.

Inmates do, all the time. The media ignores them, the public thinks prison rape is a joke and they system could give a fuck. "Let the animals kill each other" is the mindset

Are you going to sue the state? if it was a private prison, can you sue them?

No point. Juries could care less, the state would just call me a liar, courts are weighted against inmates in every way. Guys who are innocent can’t sue the DAs who fucked them. I was guilty, what chance do I have? Waste of time and money for me.

Do you have advice for other men out there should they happen to go to prison?

Honestly, buy some protection. The guy who watched out for me was on a 5 year bit for robbery and was a fucking skin-head crazy fucker, but the first time one of my rapists laid a hand on me, my guy broke his arm in two places. Worth every fucking penny.

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