Instagram | Snapchat: Alexys.jay

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You forgot something, bro.

Ouch!

Eagle flying through the Mountains 

Rejected on Kiss Cam

This Man Is 95 Years Old!

Bear trying to relieve an itch

Can’t handle the slingshot ride

Donald Trump will be the first US President to ever have received a Stone Cold Stunner

Anti-Trump rally

Meanwhile in Mexico

Good morning

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Aryan Race Testing, 1940

A pile of American bison skulls waiting to be ground for fertilizer, mid-1870s

Women in Chicago being arrested for wearing one piece bathing suits, without the required leg coverings. 1922

Richard Nixon at his wife’s funeral, June 26, 1993

President Truman holding a newspaper that stated he lost after winning the election November 3, 1948

Japanese Leaflet dropped on Americans during WWII 

Jackie Kennedy watching her husband debate Richard Nixon, 1960 [

American soldiers rest near a small Christmas tree on Hill 875 near Dak To, Vietnam, 25 December, 1967

Appalachian “hillbilly revolutionaries” from the Young Patriots Organization team up with members of the Black Panther Party for a “Free the Panthers” event, late 1960s

The Young Patriots wore a rebel Confederate flag on their blue jean jackets and berets, and fought against racism. They participated in demonstrations against police brutality and housing discrimination. In 1971, a portion of the Young Patriots attempted to build a national organization, renamed the Patriot Party, which had no relation to the right-wing group of the same name.

Dwight Eisenhower was the first U.S. President to use a teleprompter during the 1952 presidential campaign

Gangster Mickey Cohen standing amongst the front pages of newspapers that helped make him the city’s’ most infamous citizen – 1960

PC Frederick Godwin offers tea and sympathy to a now homeless man, who returned home from walking his dog to find his house destroyed and wife killed by a V1 flying bomb. London 1944

Finnish soldier, moments before execution for desertion, December 20, 1941

Releasing a messenger pigeon, WW1, 1914 

A messenger dog leaps over a German trench during World War 1, 1915

Aerial Photographs of Auschwitz taken by an British Reconnaissance plane. The main crematorium can be seen on the lower right. Poland , 1944

Iranian woman in the era before the Islamic revolution by Ayatollah Khomeini. Iran, 1960

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What tribe are you from?

I grew up and lived on the Oneida Nation rez in Wisconsin. I am part of the Turtle Clan (or Wolf, if you want to be pedantic)

Why do some people call your clan the Turtle Clan if it’s really the Wolf Clan?

Oneida is a Matriarchy and my ancestry is through my father which would put me in wolf clan. My Grandma is Turtle though, so i choose to go off of that.

Is your Oneida Nation related to the Oneida Nation in NY?

Same ones. We were moved forcefully from there

How many people are in your tribe?

There’s only about 15,000 people left in my tribe

Can you speak the Oneida language? 

I know a handful of words. I know MAYBE 3 people that can hold a really shitty conversation. It’s pretty much forgotten

What kind of lodging/homes are on a reservation? Regular houses? Does the traditional teepee survive? Are teepees a Hollywood thing?

My great grandparents were part of the last generation to be taken from New York (Oneida Lake) They lived in longhouses/tepees. My grandma (who is still alive) was part of the first generation to be born on the rez. People live in regular homes though. There’s cool housing programs though the tribe that they expand every year.

What is the most common misconception that people have about you and/or your culture?

That (my tribe specifically) wear headdresses. Also rain dances are not a thing, they were never a thing and will never be a thing

How much of the old bush crafting/ living in the outdoor skills are still taught?

Not really. It’s more of people teaching beadwork/dancing/language.

What exactly is the significance of beadwork?

It is just as important as dancing as it connects us to our ancestors. There’s a lot of rules for when you bead though. You can’t bead when you’re tired, when it’s stormy, when its dark out, and a whole host of other things.

How much of native tradition is carried on in the reservation? Does anyone still believe in the spiritual ways of native Americans in the past?

To be honest, it is pretty much all lost or dead. We still observe certain traditions such as powwows. (I actually had a powwow just for me) The elders are dying faster than we can interview them and there isn’t much we can do. Just recently two of our oldest elders were stabbed and murdered in their own home and left to rot for almost a month. I would like to think the good outweighs the bad though

Any idea why the elders were murdered?

I actually knew the guy personally. He had a really rough life. (physical abuse by all his family) He was probably looking to rob them and things went south. I feel no remorse for this guy. Everything coming to his is what he deserves. He took two lives.

Rest in Peace Harry and Lorraine Brown Bear.

What is the biggest issue facing your tribes and/or natives in general?

Generational poverty. It’s sad how a lot of my people live.

How often does your reservation rely on tourism, if you had to take a guess?

We get 99.99 percent of our money from our . If you count that as tourism then quite a bit.

How big are your monthly membership checks from the ?

We have one large and members get 1000 dollars a year from it. Far from a monthly check. Elders get more money though and have other benefits such as free wood and housing

What’s the biggest obstacle to living on a reservation besides being low income/poor?

There is nothing here. It’s kinda sad actually

How bad is the drug/alcohol abuse on the reservation?

There is so much alcohol abuse it’s disgusting. There’s more heroin then meth from what I’ve seen. A lot of my family drinks and it will bring them to an early grave

What kind of changes do you think needs to take place for the betterment of people living on reservations?

The biggest change that i would like to see with Indians is to get off of welfare and actually have the US have good programs for a change. It’s so hard when people are this poor and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Leaving the rez is not looked down on the traditional sense. There’s more of a jealousy going on. Very few people can just leave. 

What do you believe the government should do to improve the lives of people on your reservation?

They could keep honoring the treaties. I don’t think the government will ever help out besides that. It’s nice to dream though

Do you think reservations are good/useful? As an outsider, I’ve always thought they were pointless because there is more bad than good e.g. alcohol and drugs, poor education, poor job opportunities, poor healthcare, poor justice, etc. 

If that happened the culture would die almost instantly. Reservations are the last thing that we have they may be broken but broken things can be mended. I would cry if the USA took my home away

Do you still harbor any deep rooted anger/frustration at the atrocities commited by the US Govt?

At this point the older i get the more i realize that nobody will ever give a shit about us. We will cease to exist and only become a footnote in a history book. I personally have moved on from the past, it’s just that nobody cares about their neighbors anymore

Have you found much prejudges or animosity between different native tribes? Or has the history of oppression unified the native peoples somewhat?

I’ll be blunt with this one. There are respectable tribes and there are not respectable ones. Theres a lot of shit some tribes do that make me angry

How do people in reservations view “Outsiders”?

The rez is open to the public as it stands right now. The tribe does not own 51% of the land and therefore cannot fully govern the territory. I don’t have any disdain for white people living here and i don’t really know anyone who does.

Do you feel like an American? I’m not suggesting that you should, but I just find the social status of American Indians odd in that way. You didn’t choose to have this government or culture put upon you, but do you accept it and feel a part of it?

If I lived on the rez forever I would never feel like a American Citizen.

Does it bother you at all to be called “Indian”?

Frankly, I have been an Indian longer than iv’e been a Native American and most people here like it that way.

What is your opinion of the team name of the Washnington Redskins and the Cleveland Indians?

Who gives a flying fuck! Let them have their team! Nobody really cares on my end haha

Do you guys actually care about Native Indian costume on Halloween?

I find them Hilarious

How do you and others you know feel about Thanksgiving? 

I fucking love thanksgiving. Huge meal with all my family? Sign me up! I really don’t care about the implication at this point. White people are offended enough for me

How do you feel when you see hipster chicks get dream catchers tattooed?

Dreamcatchers are for children to ward nightmares away. They are kinda like a nightlight. The kids think they work but its all made up

Where do you live now and what are you doing for a living?

Right now I live in Appleton Wi. I’m currently on the path to becoming a Firefighter! I go back the the rez every weekend pretty much to visit my family.

How would you compare life on the reserve to the life you currently have in the city?

I can walk down the street without feeling like i’m going to get robbed. Also there is so much more things to do here. The rez is poor and boring to be honest. In Oneida you have to drive a good 40 minutes to get to any place of culture that is not a bar.

Do you have any idols?

My Father is my idol. He has worked hard all his life (and continues to do so) to give his children a future. He’s tough as nails and a big reason I’m going into a Firefighting career. He continues to volunteer at the Oneida Fire Department and hes a huge influence on my life.

What do you think is the perfect way to live life?

Free of stress and surrounded by loved ones

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French special forces destroying a suicide vehicle using a Javelin missile

He wants to help Donald Trump build the wall.. but stay on the US side!

Berlin in July 1945 (color footage)

Why Some Prescription Drugs Are More Dangerous than Illegal Drugs

20 years ago today Space Jam premiered in theaters. Here is a ’30 for 30′ on the game

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Thousands came out to support this dog’s last walk on the beach – Rare

This Barber Spends His Day Off Giving Free Haircuts To The Homeless – Ned Hardy

A Sexy and Mysterious Handprint Appeared on a Cheeky Instagram Shot by Emily Ratajkowski – Maxim

Girl Completely Loses Her Marbles After Being Ignored By Dude On Tinder – Mandatory

Gronk admits this shot was the hardest he’s ever been hit – FanBuzz

The U.S, military’s latest weapon launched projectiles at six times the speed of sound – Faves

27 Bad Habits You Picked Up At 15 That You Should Drop Before 35 – BuzzFeed

Trump Backs Away From Major Pledges – Newser

The Best Movies with Twist Endings – Ranker

Photographer Photoshops Out Ex-Gang Members Tattoos – Leenks

Hilary Duff Back in Da Bikini Ya’ll! – G-Celeb

Photographer Spends 7 Years Recreating Photos He Took 40 Years Ago (23 Photos) – Radass

Jewel is in a Bikini of the Day – Drunken Stepfather

Enjoy your Tuesday with a side of cleavage (27 Photos) – Bad Sentinel

Two Bros Made Fake Press Passes To Sneak Into UFC 205 And Snapchatted The Entire Experience – Barstool Sports

Athletes & Hoes: Von Miller Extorted $2.5 Million By Trapalicious Freak Jawn He Met On Vacation – Bossip

Now this is one Trump supporter I can appreciate! – Ehowa

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Instagram

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Two Asian Surfers Get Into a Fight Over Stolen Waves

You don’t move unless Khabiab tells you to move

Drunk Starts trouble with a group of young dudes

Theres grappling… Then theres Yoel grappling

Alabama Inmate Hits A WWE Flying Elbow Drop During A Fight!

KO via jab

The Sparbar

Man is attacked and his car is stolen, allegedly because of who he voted for (article)

Bully absolutely gets DISMANTLED on train

Wait for the arm break

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Why Are Younger People More Creative Than Adults?

Children have a more active imagination than adults, and young adults are less constrained by their own prior patterns of thought.

As people become “good at life,” they develop habits of thought that serve them well. These habits are thought styles that “work” (get results, impress people, carry us through difficult situations). As we accumulate “thought techniques,” three things happen.

First, we become more effective and able to “effortlessly” (mindlessly?) navigate tricky waters.

Second, we adapt to social norms and accepted ways of thinking, making us more effective with people and society.

Third, we become a prisoner of our own success. Sticking with what works makes us both more successful and less creative. Why be random when you can be right? Unfortunately what works is what worked in the past and misses the enigmatic paths that lead to unexpected surprises.

People who are in creative professions develop personal systems to stay creative. They develop predictable habits that take them into unpredictable territory. This is a lifestyle choice to stay in the uncomfortable territory of the unknown. They may seek out people outside their profession, read random things, or force themselves to brainstorm whimsically. This systemization of creativity doesn’t have the bizarre arc of childhood imagination, but does combine life experience with creativity in a way that can be more impactful (and higher paying) in modern society.

How Does Working on Wall Street Compare With Working in Silicon Valley?

I began my career on Wall Street and subsequently have worked for more than a decade in Silicon Valley startups.

There are three main similarities: You work with smart and engaged people, there are large potential payoffs, and the work is interesting and “sexy.”

The differences are in the types of smart and engaged people:

Work hours and perception

On Wall Street people love to brag about how hard they work. People exaggerate the number of hours they work, and it’s considered a badge of honor to pull all-nighters and work throughout the weekend. Face time is critical, and generally people do not leave until they are told they can. Managers expect their team to show up before they do and to leave after they do. It’s OK to go to the gym in the middle of the day, and “hours” are more flexible than many people on Wall Street make them out to be, but nevertheless hours spent at the office (working or not) are long.

In Silicon Valley people may work these same types of hours (often even longer), but instead they like to brag about how quickly they came up with the solution or about the shortcut they found. Nobody likes to be seen as working throughout the weekend but rather wants to be seen as someone who takes advantage of his or her time off. Being in the office is not nearly as critical as getting work done. Managers are unlikely to care where you got your job done or what time you come and go; they care more about the work you deliver.

Credentials and perception

On Wall Street nearly everyone asks what college you went to. You will know who went to Harvard, Stanford, etc. Many people have MBAs, and this information is likely to come first on even the most senior employee’s resume. People on Wall Street generally dress well, and you can tell where someone is in the organization by the clothes that they wear and they way they look. Executives and managing directors carry leather briefcases and wear well-tailored suits, Rolex watches, and Ferragamo shoes. People generally drive fancy cars and live in nice apartments.

In Silicon Valley people rarely talk about what college they went to or make it a point to ask others. Education is unlikely to be the first thing mentioned on a résumé or in a job interview. People at top-tier startups generally have similar alma maters as those on Wall Street, but there are fewer MBAs in Silicon Valley than Wall Street. Executives and directors wear jeans, sweatshirts, hoodies, Apple watches, and sneakers. It is often hard to tell the executives from the interns at first glance. People often take Ubers, and few people live in fancy apartments.

The large potential payoffs

Money on Wall Street is generally made on the annual bonus. For people making the big bucks, bonuses are often more like commissions and tied to some clear-cut money-making activity such as trading or investment banking revenue. Big bonuses one year do not always mean big bonuses another year, and there is a lot of focus on making fast cash rather than on the longer-term viability of the company.

Payoffs in Silicon Valley generally take more time. It is rare to “score big” in one year. It can happen, but most startups don’t pay large bonuses; rather, employees get stock options, RSUs, and the like. Stock packages are necessarily tied to a concrete activity. Employees are going to make money if the company succeeds. So a massive underperformer who got into Facebook at the right time is going to make a lot more money than a rock-star performer who worked for VebVan. This is generally not the case on Wall Street. If you are a good trader or investment banker who brings in revenue, you will make money even if the company is going under.

The interesting and sexy work

Work on Wall Street is generally more defined than it is in Silicon Valley. I had a job trading commercial paper, and that is all I did. It was easy for me to know exactly what I was going to do on a given day. It was rare for me to do anything other than what I was hired for. Trading is exciting, and the adrenaline certainly pumps when you win and lose money (and I did plenty of both). However, there are a lot of established rules and regulations, and working on Wall Street is a more certain path. Clients pay for experience and expect a certain level of service. It is hard to move up quickly without “paying your dues.” People generally don’t like change, and it isn’t considered helpful to suggest new ways of doing things.

Working at a startup, I did something new almost every week. I wore a lot of hats and was expected to do whatever I could to help the cause. It is easier to move up fast, and promotions are more a result of performance than anything else. Work can change quickly as companies pivot, and you are unlikely to be doing what you were hired for at a startup even six months later. You are expected to think of new ways of doing things, and established rules and “ways of doing things” aren’t really taken seriously.

What Do the Wealthiest People Know That Others Don’t?

That big money is served in small increments. Whether that’s return on investments, profits, margins on products you’re selling, whatever. People who don’t understand this are always trying to double or quintuple their money in as few transactions as possible, while the largest and most successful companies and people in the world win by making “small money” over and over again.

That wages and income are about what the job is worth, not the individual. As a person, as a human being, your value is immeasurable. If you went missing in the woods, our society would easily spend five or six figures trying to find and rescue you, without hesitation. But dude, putting a sticker on a box is still only worth $5, if that. Your income potential isn’t about what you need or what the employer can afford; it’s about the value of what you do. Those who are in the upper income brackets have understood and embraced this reality and have worked to bring something of value to the market or their company.

That personal debt is not a “tool.” It’s shackles—delayed gratification is more gratifying than instant gratification. If you can’t pay cash, you can’t afford it. That guy you know making $70,000 per year driving an $80,000 BMW and carrying $15,000 in credit card debt looks like he’s well-off, but he’s an idiot. His entire paycheck is gone by the end of the month, and none of that stuff is his. He’s basically just renting it from the bank. He’s paying more annually in interest than he’s earning in his IRA. One hiccup in his income and the bank takes it all back, making all the money he’s paid thus far for nothing. But the guy who saved up and paid cash? His savings account grows every month and no one will ever show up and take his stuff.

The value of the dollars you have versus unearned future dollars. Those people who got a “great deal” on Ikea furniture or faux leather couches will be buying another one sooner than the person who bought quality goods. And the thing is that the people who cheap out know that when they buy it. They rationalize it by saying, “If I get three years out of it, that’s fine, I can buy a better one later when I can afford it.” When you do this, you’re basically deciding to throw away the money you have and committing future dollars you haven’t even earned yet. A smarter decision: save a little longer and spring for quality goods that don’t need to be replaced so quickly.

Math. The broke person really wanted a particular item but it was more than $100, and he or she didn’t have it. When the item went on sale for 20 percent off, he or she rushed to one of those payday advance places and borrowed the money to get it. The interest on those type of loans of course negated the savings. But the person didn’t care and justified it by thinking, “Oh well, it’s the same money anyway.” He didn’t realize that the problem wasn’t how he bought the item.

The importance of life insurance. I won’t get into the personal responsibility argument about leaving your loved ones to fend for themselves. The point is that life insurance is hands-down the easiest and lowest-impact way to pass wealth on to the next generation. For a few measly dollars a month, your kids can be millionaires (or at least hundred thousand-aires). Even people who will never make enough money in their lifetimes to buy homes and die broke and penniless could leave enough to get all of their grandkids through medical school. It’s a total no-brainer, and you can afford it. If you’re retired, your adult children should be paying the bill for you. Stop making excuses.

That lotteries are just another tax on the poor. You do realize the government keeps half of it, right? That’s before the winner is taxed. Yep, that $7 million jackpot really represents $14 million in actual lottery ticket sales, so you’re basically just voluntarily paying more taxes. You won’t see the 10 percent standing in line buying lottery tickets. Even during the big jackpots. Your odds of winning are 1 in 292 million, yet there are people who drop $20 per week, every week for 40 years or more hoping one day it will be their turn. That same money invested from ages 20 to 60 would be worth $300,000 on their 60th birthday, even with the most conservative market estimates. Or another way to look at it: you could turn $40,000 into $300,000 simply by not playing the lottery. It’s dumb. Stop doing it.

Above all, if you can commit to living within your means, your means will increase over time. Feeling broke today? Look at your paycheck. Now imagine you didn’t have to spend all of that on car payments and a house that’s bigger than what you need, and the credit card payments on all the stuff you bought to fill it. Just imagine that whole paycheck staying in your bank account and not going out the door to those payments. You aren’t so bad off anymore, are you?

Now imagine what your savings account would look like in just one year if you threw it all there and forgot about it. Because that’s where you could be if you thought about money differently.

Successful people know it’s not about how much you make; it’s about how you spend it.

– Ron Rule 

How do hackers remain anonymous when they are directly connected to an ISP?

Anonymity is achieved in practice using VPNs (Virtual Private Networks) and multiple proxies. These are two different techniques but they can be combined.

Let’s talk about how a VPN or proxy works.

I pay a VPN company and connect. My traffic is then encrypted and sent to the VPN company. The ISP can now see that I am sending encrypted traffic and that it is going to the VPN company, but not what that traffic contains.

The VPN company decrypts it and forwards the traffic to wherever it is going. They then receive return traffic, encrypt it, and pass it back to me.

The ISP can’t see what the end point is because the routing was part of the encryption at the start. Return traffic also just looks like encrypted packets coming back from the VPN company.

So, with a simple VPN we have reduced the ISP knowledge to the fact that we are sending traffic to a VPN company, but that is all they can discern.

The obvious problem with this arrangement is that you have a vulnerability in the VPN company because they can in fact see your decrypted traffic and where it’s going. For things like torrenting this is good enough as long as your VPN doesn’t store logs. It would take some real heavy legal pressure to get them to start logging and turn you in.

This doesn’t work for hacking because that legal pressure may be the full weight of the US government and no VPN company has the resources to fight that.

Si we add in another layer-Tor. You’ll have to do some outside reading on how its built, but basically it allows you to connect to a random entry point, the traffic is bounced around between tor servers, and then routed to the exit.

The beauty of tor is that the entry point cannot see the exit and the exit does not know what the entry point was.

So with tor you connect to the VPN, which then routes your traffic to the entry point. The entry point bounces it around to an exit, and the exit forwards traffic to its destination.

ISP only sees encrypted traffic between you and the VPN. The VPN only sees encrypted traffic between you and the Tor entry point.

Now let’s say I want to trace something back to you. I have to get the ISP to tell me what VPN you were using, then I have to legally lean on the VPN company to see their logs if they keep them or to start logging if they don’t. Now I have to identify and compromise the Tor entry point (which also, hopefully isn’t logging). Theoretically I would say they have to figure out the tor routing system, but there is some evidence that the NSA may have contributed to it, so I am not informed enough to say.

You can add even more layers but using a VPN combined with tor will keep you safe from most governments. You can make it more complex by putting more proxies or VPNs in layers.

Finally, if you want to be very secure, do it all from a brand new machine connected to public wifi and never use that system on any network that could be associated with you.

How does Amazon prevent it’s employees from stealing shit?

Let me tell you, I work for amazon. I’m a picker. I’m the guy that goes and gets your shit out of a bin from god knows where (wherever a stower found space to put it) and puts it in a tote for you to have packaged and sent to you.

Most thefts, are done at the picking/stowing level. And most thefts are not things like phones/games/etc but instead are sex toys and food. People get curious as to what this sex toy is, and open it resulting in an item that can’t be sold and thereby a loss to the company, which counts as a theft and you get fired for playing with sex toys on the job. Everyone knows about it within the warehouse within a week minimum. As for food, we get a 10 minute break, a 30 minute lunch, and a 30 minute break spaced about 2-2.5 hours apart each. The 10 minute break is a joke and no one has time to do anything but grab a drink and/or go to the restroom. Despite this, it is highly suggested that we get a snack on our breaks and eat a meal at lunch time. Walking 15 or so miles a day will make you hungry, fast. So people see that gorgeous delectable jack links jerky and their stomach grumbles. They go to pick something else up and they see it, it’s beautiful, it’s fucking teriyaki flavored. Jack pot! They snag a couple from the bag and put it back in the bin. They sate their hunger by picking jerky that they stole out of their pocket for the next hour. Their sweaty, disgusting pants pocket. The one right next to their sweaty crotch. It’s fucking gross. Then, someone else like me comes by to pick the item for shipment, notices it is damaged and goes through the damaged/stolen/missing item process. Another guy comes by and sees what happened after the report and then Loss Prevention looks at the copious number of cameras to see who all was in that aisle. They see everything. They saw that one guy pick his nose, that nice girl let one rip, and that one guy that stole some jerky. Jerky dude gets walked out on the spot and fired.

On top of all that if I come across a damaged/missing item, it doesn’t count as a pick for me, meaning it hurts my rate. Missing items takes time. If I don’t make rate, I get “generated feedback” a fancy term for the manager telling me to get my shit together. I don’t like thieves. I don’t like people losing my items. You want your stuff, but I want my pay. We’re on the same page. I’m on your side. In this instance, the customer is actually my friend, as opposed to being in a retail shop where the customer is just a pain in the ass a good 70% of the time.

Also, Amazon has a 3 stage system in place to prevent theft and keep the several thousand employees on site safe. I can’t wear a fitbit in there and make it out. Hell I can’t carry a condom in my wallet through those things. (lets be honest though if you’re carrying a condom in your wallet, it most likely isn’t going to be used as most of the time the dates on those are like 6 months old when they get caught with em). You are not making it through this 3 stage system that is well put together with a bust of fucking Geralt.

If that item is fucked up like that, then there is only 2 options. Something in shipping fucked it, or it looked like that when we got it. We don’t judge the items we sell, that is on the provider of the item in question. We make sure that the item you purchased from said provider makes it to you in one piece. I pride myself on my rate and being a hard worker. That monstrosity did not get caused by an Amazon employee. It just isn’t a feasible option.

What’s it like to be Bipolar?

Mania

The mania part is awesome. I have tons of energy and don’t want to stop.

The best part of mania is that I’m so optimistic about everything. You could crash a car through my house and I’d reply, “What a great time to build something new!” I’m my most creative during this process, so I’m doing as much as possible to capitalize on it. Artistic or constructive, I’m up for anything.

I have the most fun running around and entertaining people, making them laugh, and acting like a big clown. I get a lot of satisfaction from the laughs and smiles I can get out of people. It makes me feel invincible.

Every morning I wake up ready to go, even if I didn’t get much sleep the night before. I don’t really need that much sleep, so I just go and go and do so much. I see all of my friends, have a blast, get everything done on my to-do list, and more. 

And do I talk. I’m all over the place, dominating every conversation. I’ve been told I talk too fast and switch topics so quickly that it’s hard for others to keep up with me. Sometimes, I can’t keep up with myself.

Unfortunately, this is when I go out more, spend all of my money, and drink too much. I’ve been in a few fistfights during my mania, but it’s not because I was really angry. Getting into a fight at a bar with some dude twice my size is exhilarating. I know it’s destructive, but it’s the greatest form of entertainment because it’s raw, tough, and totally dangerous. I’ve yet to be seriously hurt in one of these fights, so I keep escalating each time. It’s like a game to me. 

An upside to the mania is that my sex drive goes haywire. I crave a lot more sex during this period and sometimes it’s a bit much for my girlfriend.

During my mania, I feel like a god. I feel like I can do anything, so my self-worth skyrockets. I can’t explain it, but when the mania burns out I’ve got nothing left. Without the highs of mania, I wouldn’t be able to tolerate the lows of depression.

Depression

When I’m depressed, I want to be left alone. It’s not that I want to be by myself; I want everyone to disappear. I don’t want to go anywhere, see anyone, or do anything. It’s like no matter what I do, people are telling me I’m doing something wrong. So the easiest way to feel better is to hide.

Seeing all those people carrying on, living their happy little lives is an annoying reminder of my bipolar disorder and how I’ll never have that kind of stability. What’s worse is hearing all the people I “entertain” while in my mania talk about how quiet I am and that I’m not entertaining. Do they try to cheer me up, or do something to make me laugh? No. They just want their clown back. It’s annoying.

No matter what it is — work, hanging out with friends, exercise — I don’t enjoy things because the smallest details annoy me. If friends invite me out, I imagine waiting for the bus, being crammed against angry people, waiting in lines, and all the other negative things. I think of every possible downside of something, which leaves me dreading the idea of doing anything.

I turn into this grumpy old man. I’ve contemplated suicide and have attempted it once before. But the more I understand the problem, the more I know that the depression is temporary and I don’t always think clearly during it. That self-reminder helps me from doing anything stupid.

When I think about the future, I don’t like what I see. I can only envision more troubles, endless work, and an endless string of letdowns.

The Middle

This is what I imagine it’s like for everyone else — you know, normal people. I wake up in the morning and I feel fine. I don’t dread going about my day. I go to work, get things done, and have plenty of energy throughout the day.

I can roll with the punches the average day gives me. I’m not freaking out over small problems, I enjoy the little things, and I’m not loathing the future.

I feel normal and it’s how I see myself. I’m not some lunatic running around or some mopey, lazy slug.

I honestly wish I could stay in this mindset all of the time, but I know that won’t happen. I’ve accepted that my moods will change on their own, so I enjoy the calm more when it’s there. 

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Sexual Taboo Survey Results

Is Your State’s Highest-Paid Employee A Coach?

College Has Gotten 12 Times More Expensive in One Generation

Largest military budgets in the world, 2015

Most Popular Female Names by State

Half of the US Population

Atheism in Europe

At what age are you in your prime

The most frequent sites of “missed connections” on Craigslist in each region

Percentage of Americans Who Attend Church Weekly by State

Length of Game vs. Actual Gameplay

Average SAT scores by family income 

At what age do members of the opposite sex look best to men and women 

Percentage of each religious group (in the US) saying the following is “morally acceptable”

The 30 most-viewed YouTube videos

Average age at first sexual encounter around the world

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Blind for Booty

Veterans from various wars talk about the first time they killed someone.

Courtroom footage of some of the men who attempted to assassinate Adolf Hitler

Pit Bull Rescued From Dog Fighting Shown Love For The Very First Time

Motorcycle escapes police helicopter after high-speed chase

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Fashion Photographer Helps Abandoned Dogs Find “Forever Homes” – Leenks

Patient Owner Walks His Pet Tortoise on Streets of Tokyo – Ned Hardy

How to Battle Bullying When Your Child Has Curly Hair – Curly

Carrie Fisher Confirms She and Harrison Ford Hooked Up on the Set of ‘Star Wars’ – Maxim

One Simple But Ingenious Method to Distinguish Between Full and Flat Batteries – Bright Side

Go Back to Grid|Next Story Scientists Discover New Weapon in Fight Against HIV – Newser

A 55-pound teen is fighting for his life after his adoptive parents allegedly locked him in a basement for 2 years – Rare

Former WCW champ reportedly only has ‘two years’ left to live – FanBuzz

In a tragic wreck, driver is ejected from his car, flies almost 40 feet in the air – Faves

Weapons that Look Like They’re from a Sci-Fi Movie – Ranker

Emily Ratajkowski Went Topless to the Beach in Mexico – G-Celeb

Denver Becomes First City To Allow Weed Use In Bars And Restaurants – Bossip

10 Dudes Who Made An Insane Amount Of Babies – Mandtory

Sex Workers Describe Their First Day on the Job – VICE

If your still thirsty for some bountiful rumps – Radass

Ariel Winter Feeds her Inner Thighs of the Day – Drunken Stepfather

27 Curve-Heavy Pics of Cosplayer Kristen Hughey – Regretful Morning

Girls with Tattoos Are Always Keepers – Bro My God

8 Things Every Person Should Do Before 8 A.M. – Medium

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Instagram | snapchat : chailee_s

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A gender neutral or gender inclusive pronoun is a pronoun which does not associate a gender with the individual who is being discussed.

Some languages, such as English, do not have a gender neutral or third gender pronoun available, and this has been criticized, since in many instances, writers, speakers, etc. use “he/his” when referring to a generic individual in the third person. Also, the dichotomy of “he and she” in English does not leave room for other gender identities, which is a source of frustration to the transgender and gender queer communities.

People who are limited by languages which do not include gender neutral pronouns have attempted to create them, in the interest of greater equality.

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When my dad runs into a friend from work at the grocery store

Daylight savings time…we gain an extra hour of sleep! Wait…you have toddlers? 

When I make an obscure joke and one person immediately gets it

When I didn’t read the warning on the fireworks 

When I’m Obama and Biden explains to me why Trump won

When my mom would leave me alone in the grocery line as a kid

When I meet a hot girl at a bar and take a shot of something strong in front of her

When I walk out of a disgusting public restroom 

When my mom says “any girl would be lucky to have you” 

When you’re broke and your car starts making weird sounds

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