How to stop screwing yourself over

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Instagram

Snapchat: iammollycavalli

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Canadian police officers meditating before they start their day 

Group therapy session at San Quentin prison 

Dad designs shoes to give his paralyzed daughter the sensation of walking

Woman smokes medical marijuana for cerebral palsy Difference in her speech is night and day

Volcanic eruption 

Kelly Kapowski has gotten hotter over the last 25 years

Japanese Customer Service 

How they dig traffic tunnels

2 Skull of a 14 year-old girl believed to be a victim of cannibalism at the Jamestown colony in the winter of 1609. Butchery marks can be seen on forehead (article)

Powerlifter Julia Vins…Would you hit this???

Menu for first class passengers in the Titanic

Menu for third class passengers in the Titanic

UC Davis spent thousands to scrub pepper-spray references from Internet (article)

Climbers on Mount Rainier 

This is not how you solve homelessness

South Korean soldiers hold hands incase they get pulled into the North 

All Electric ’68 Mustang Fastback 0-60 1.8 Seconds, 1/4mile in 9.89 at 140.6mph!

How deep is the ocean really?

CDC chart that shows the leading causes of death by age group. It really puts things into perspective

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Jeff Glover and Ryan Hall flow rolling

Cyclical Submission Chain drill by Keenan Cornelius

Nice transition into the truck and calf crank

Crazy summersault pass and armbar 

Mahamed Aly just obliterating some poor guy 

Perfect Berimbolo

Léo Vieira with some beautiful jiu-jitsu!

Nice half guard drill by Ryan Hall

High level purple belt (at the time) competitor Sebastian Brosche rolling with a black belt

Draculino – The ego of the belt

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The post A Hearty Helping Of Hotness To Help You Get Through Monday appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Why you don’t fuck with a Newt

Kevin The Goat Is A Cunt

The Titanic trailer recreated in GTA V, shot for shot

This Pastor just set the Church straight about homosexuality

Cat really likes food

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15 Photos Guaranteed To Put A Smile On Your Face – Ned Hardy

Caveman’s Hot Picks Of The Day – Caveman Afterdark

Here’s Emily Ratajkowski Getting Cheeky on Instagram Because Monday – Maxim

 Meet The Russian Kim Kardashian (35 pics) – Leenks

20+ Unbelievable Photos Showing That Angle Is Everything – Linkiest

$1.4M Painting of Nude Trump Triggers Death Threats – Newser

While Exploring A 100 Year Old Abandoned Funhouse This Guy Found Something Haunting – Slip Talk

I Drank a Gallon of Water a Day for 30 Days. Here’s What Happened – Thrillist

Watch Porn Star Jayden Jaymes Ask A Professional Accountant For Advice on Taxes – Rant Lifestyle

Things You Didn’t Know About Offshore Banking – Ranker

He’s had a hard knock life, but finally, this pup is going home — watch his emotional reaction – Rare

15 Movies that Can Also Be Watched Backwards – TV Overmind

This Woman Turned Her Collection of Unsolicited Dick Pics into an Art Show – VICE

You Won’t Believe What 30 Bond Girls Look like Now – Worthly

Lindsey Pelas Pouring Water on her Massive Jugs – Drunken Stepfather

Alexis Ren Looking Hot For A Photoshoot – G-Celeb

Bras are optional on Mondays – Radass

38 Life Lessons from 38 Years on the Planet – Medium

20 Most Expensive Foods In The World – And Where To Get Them – The Richest

38 Red Hot Instagram Pics of Galina Dub – Regretful Morning

Emily Ratajkowski playing the Kardashians like a fiddle – Celeb Slam

Our 40 Favorite Women This Week – Suburban Men

Some say Asians do it better (36 Photos) – Bad Sentinel

Perfect body on this girl (nsfw) – Ehowa

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Instagram

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Man Risks His Life To Save a Dog From Certain Death

Perfect golf form

This guy should be a Running Back 

Netballer tries to put off her opponent with a kiss

“Oh shit, I’m on the big screen.” 

Nice catch 

Player Fist Bumps Ballkid By Mistake 

Revolution always comes at the worst times 

Life in a nutshell

Iguana defending his girl

That sigh of relief 

Who Remembers The Batusi?

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1. Vladimir Lenin (1870 – 1924) :  RUSSIA

This horrifyingly alive looking man is Vladimir Lenin – the father of Russian Communism and the first leader of the Soviet Union. His death was followed by the consecutive succession of his throne by Stalin.The government decided to preserve the body of Lenin for future generations. As no attempts to mummify a body for generations had ever been attempted before, the Russians had to invent a highly complex process of embalming. Lenin’s body requires extensive chemical baths, injections and evaluation. The body’s organs were removed and replaced with a humidifier and pumping system, designed to maintain the body’s core temperature and fluid intake. His mummy is so well preserved as is evident from the image that it looks as if he will wake up any time now. Creepy isn’t it?

When the Soviet Union existed, Lenin’s suits were changed once a year. Since the fall of the communist nation, the mummy’s suit is changed every five years.

Lenin’s trademark clenched right hand.

2. Eva “Evita” Perón (1919 – 1952) :  ARGENTINA

When she died from cancer in 1952, Eva Perón was one of most beloved women in Argentina. She was the first wife of then Argentinean President Juan Perón. This fueled the decision to embalm her body. The procedure was performed by renowned professor of anatomy Dr. Pedro Ana. His embalming technique was so good, it was commonly referred to as the “Art of Death.” The procedure included replacing the blood and water weight with glycerin which preserved all internal organs, including the brain. The process took one year to complete. Her body is so life like that after it was stolen by the new government and hidden in Italy, a caretaker was driven mad by sexual fantasies of the body and fell in love with it. Later the body was returned to Argentina and buried with dignity.

Evita in 1952 just after the mummification process finished.

A colored  the photograph shows how even in death, Evita is uncomfortably lifelike. She is effectively a wax figure after the mummification process replaced all water in the body with wax.

3. Rosalia Lombardo (1918 – 1920) :  ITALY

Deep in the Catacombs of the Capuchin Monks in Sicily, inside a tiny glass casket lies the body of little Rosalia Lombardo. When she died in 1920 of pneumonia her father, General Lombardo, was devastated. He sought the services of Italian Embalmer Alfredo Salafia to preserve her. Using a mixture of chemicals including formalin, to kill bacteria, zinc salts to petrify the body and its organs, alcohol, salicylic acid and glycerin. The end result was nothing short of extraordinary. The body was so sell preserved she came known as “Sleeping Beauty.”

The innocence on her face is so well preserved and evident that she is the most visited mummy in the catacombs. She has this uncanny attraction that makes her the most well preserved mummy in the world.

This X-Ray taken of Rosalia shows her brain and internal organs are intact although they’ve shrunk over time.

4. Lady Xin Zhui (Died 163 BCE) :  CHINA

Also known as Lady Dai or Marquise of Dai, was the wife of Li Cang (??), the Marquis of Dai, during the Han Dynasty (206 BCE – 220 CE). She gained fame more than 2,000 years after her death, when her tomb was discovered inside a hill known as Mawangdui, in Changsha, Hunan, China. She is undisputed, the single best preserved mummy ever found, not in terms of physical appearance, but in the simple completeness of her body. Unlike Lenin, her internal organs are perfectly intact, including her brain. Unlike Evita, her tissues are still soft to the touch and her limbs are bendable. Her hair is complete and there is Type-A blood in her veins! The condition of the body is such that an autopsy was performed. Now here is the most astonishing part, she is 2,100 years old! Meet Xin Zhui, aka Lady Dai, the Diva Mummy.

The state of the preservation has given Archaeologists the single most complete medical profile ever compiled of an ancient human being. The autopsy revealed many clues about her life. She was overweight, suffered from lower back pain, had clogged arteries and had a severely damaged heart. Basically she is the oldest diagnosed case of heart disease.

With her lips shrunken and curled back, her blotted tongue can be seen jutting from her mouth.

5. La Doncella (Death Estimated between 1450 and 1480): South America

Over 500 years ago, 15-year-old La Doncella and two other children were left to freeze to death by the Inca in a ritual sacrifice. Sitting cross legged high at Mount Llullaillaco, she was drugged with chicha and coca leaves to induce a heavy sleep, and left to die as an offering to the Sun God. In 1999, archaeologists discovered the remains of La Doncella and the two other children.

As if she could awake at any time, this mummy gives us the best look at how the ancient Inca dressed.

Strands of grey hair were found in her braids suggesting a very stressful life.

6. Dashi Dorzho Itigilov (1852 – 1927) :  RUSSIA

He was a Russian Buddhist lama monk who died mid chant in the lotus posture in 1927. His last testament was a simple request to be buried how he was found. True to his wishes, he was buried in the lotus position, wearing the same robes he died in. In 1955, the monks exhumed his body and discovered it to be incorrupt. It was again exhumed in 1973 to the same discovery. In a time when Soviet anti theistic authorities policed the Russian State, the findings were not announced until 2002.

After being declared a sacred relic by the Buddhist conference, the body was placed in a name sake shrine where it remains outdoors to this day.

It is believed that dying mid chant results in a very peaceful face. Maybe that’s the reason behind this peaceful face.

7. Tollund Man (390 BC – 350 BC) :  DENMARK

Would you believe this peaceful, careworn face is that of a 2,000-year-old bog body? Discovered by accident in 1950 in the bogs of the Danish Jutland Peninsula by some unsuspecting peat farmers. So well preserved was this Pre-Iron Age corpse that he fooled his discovers into thinking he was a present day murder victim. Turns out he’s a relic from the past, one of many bog mummies that have been found in Jutland.

Nearly sixty years of examination have revealed that this was a hanging victim possibly as a sacrifice. Rope marks were discovered around his neck and his tongue was swollen-common with hanging victims. An autopsy of the man’s stomach revealed a last meal of veggies and a variety of seeds, some wild, some not. Unfortunately preservation techniques in the 1950s were limited and ultimately only the Tollund Man’s head, feet and right thumb were permanently preserved.

8. The Tattooed Ukok Princess (Lived around 5th Century AD) :  SIBERIA

If you need another reminder that tattoos are forever, the Ukok Princess proves the point. While her body itself isn’t particularly well-preserved, she is notable for the intricate tattoos that still paint her mummified skin, despite the fact that she died more than 2,500 years ago. She was around 25 years old when she passed away.Digital recreations show that her tattoos include animals such as deer, but with a mythical twist—the deer in her tattoo has Capricorn’s antlers and a griffin’s beak.Researchers believe she was a member of the Pazyryk tribe, who lived in the mountains of Siberia.These nomads held a deep-seated belief that tattoos helped people to find one another in the afterlife. Because of this, their tattoos were some of the most elaborate in the world at that time. Close to her remains, which were uncovered in 1993, were the remains of six horses, which were also thought to play an important role in escorting people into the afterlife.

9. St. Bernadette (1844 – 1879) :  FRANCE

She was born a miller’s daughter in 1844 in Lourdes, France. Throughout her life, she reported apparitions of the Virgin Mary on an almost daily basis. One such vision lead her to discover a spring which has been reported to cure illness. 150 years later, miracles are still being reported.Bernadette died at age 35 from tuberculosis in 1879. During canonization, her body was exhumed in 1909 and was discovered incorrupt. She was exhumed again in 1919 where doctors noted that the body had mummified with some mold and deterioration to the skin in some areas. In 1925, her body was exhumed a third and final time. Two of her ribs were removed and sent to Rome. In a common move during the French canonization process, molds were taken of Bernadette’s face and hands and wax casts made and place over the face and hands. The body was placed in a reliquary in the Chapel of St. Bernadette where it remains today.

St. Bernadette when she was alive.

St. Bernadette’s body lays in a gold reliquary. Her face and hands have been covered in wax as customary with french incorrupt saints.

10. John Torrington (1825 – 1846) :  BRITAIN

Sometimes mother nature can preserve a body even better than embalming can. Meet John Torrington, Petty Officer of the fabled Franklin Expedition to the Arctic Circle. He died of lead poisoning at age 22 and was buried in the frozen tundra along with three others at the expedition’s camp site. In the 1980s, his grave was exhumed by scientists in an attempt to discover the cause of the expedition’s failure. When they opened the coffins and thawed the solid block of ice inside, they were astonished, and frightened, by what was inside. John Torrington stared back at them, literally. Frozen in a block of ice for over 150 years, the body was perfectly preserved. The only sign of decay, the shriving of the eyelids and lips. He still wore the cloths he died in, arms and legs still tied together to make burial easier.

Archaeologists were giving quite a terrifying shock when they removed the blankets that covered John Torrington’s face. John Torrington was literally staring back at them. John’s nose is actually dark due to the blue wool blanket that was placed over his face by the Franklin crew. The polka-dotted cloth around his head was originally to keep his jaw closed before rigor mortis.

John Hartnell, buried alongside Torrington, was also found to be perfectly preserved

11. The Beauty of Xiaohe (Lived 3800 years ago) :  CHINA

In 2003, archeologists excavating China’s Xiaohe Mudi Graveyards, discovered a cache of mummies including one that would become known as the Beauty of Xiaohe. Hair, skin and even eyelashes perfectly preserved, the woman’s natural beauty is evident even after four millennia. Her coffin was a wooden boat, filled with small pouches that contained herbs. She was dressed in a felted wool hat, designated her status as a priestess, something rare with women. Lived more than 3,800 years ago, she was a village leader. Due to the natural salinity, aridity and freeze drying properties in the air, Xinjiang has produced some of the best naturally preserved mummies in the world, of which the Beauty of Xiaohe represents.

Few mummies are found with everything that was buried with the body. This one offers clues as to her identity.

12. The Cherchen Man (Died around 1000 BC) :  CHINA

Finding this mummy forced historians to rethink what they knew about the interaction of Eastern and Western Civilizations. For this 3,000 year old mummy is caucasian yet he was discovered buried in China. One of several hundred mummies that are now known as China’s Celtic Mummies. He was found alongside three women and a baby in Turkestan, China. The clothes he was wearing were equally as baffling and the mummy itself. Perfectly preserved, they were made of european wool.

DNA testing confirmed definitively that the Cherchen Man and those buried with him were indeed of European decent. Yet how he ended up in China is still an unsolved mystery. Carbon dating of items found in the tomb itself confirmed it was an ancient site and not a modern hoax. The dry salty air of the tomb is responsible for the perfect condition of the mummy and the artifacts which include wheat, wool cloths and blankets and even a baby bottle.

13. George Mallory (1886 – 1924) :  UK

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Lying face down in the frozen Everest slopes, lies the body of one of history’s lost pioneers, George Mallory. In 1924, he and his partner Andrew Irvin attempted the impossible; to be the first humans ever to summit the tallest mountain on Earth. Their last confirmed sighting was 800 feet from the summit top and they would never been seen alive again.
For 75 years the fate of the two climbers remained a mystery. Their disappearances made world headlines and the only evidence of the two men found was one of their empty oxygen bottles and an ice axe which belonged to Irvin. In 1999 a NOVA-BBC sponsored expedition was launched to try to find Mallory and Irvin. Within hours they made history, 700 feet below the location of the axe, a frozen body dressed in wool and fur was discovered. They believed to have found Andrew Irvin, but instead the name tags on the body’s tattered coats revealed the body as that of George Mallory.
The body was perfectly preserved. Only his clothing was in bad shape, ripped to shreds by the unrelenting wind. While no photos were ever taken of the body’s face, Anker reported that the face was undamaged, a solemn expression remained frozen onto its features. How Mallory died became apparent when a broken climbing rope was found tied around Mallory’s waist, suggesting that Irvin and Mallory were tied together and one of them fell. His ice axe was found just feet from his body leading researchers to believe that Mallory had stopped his own fall but an axe shaped puncture was found on his forehead also suggested that he was killed in the process.

Mallory’s broken right leg reveals just how violent the fall really was.

George Mallory when he was alive

14. Ramesses The Great (1303 BC – 1213 BC) :  EGYPT

Ramesses II was a pharaoh who dutifully served Egypt during the 20th dynasty. For over a millennium, scholars have fiercely debated the events leading to his death. Thankfully, his body was treated with a complex array of different treatments following his death that preserved his mortal remains. Many questions were answered after his tomb was unearthed. CT scans discovered a deep cut on his throat, 7 centimeters (2.7 in) in length and going almost to his spine. This cut would have severed not only his major blood vessels, but his esophagus and trachea as well, ending the reign of one of the last great pharaohs of Egypt.

15. The Wet Mummy (Lived 700 years ago) :  CHINA

Submerged for 600 years in a water logged coffin, a remarkably preserved Ming Dynasty mummy was discovered not in some rural village or a long lost mountainside crypt but in the center of town during a construction project! The five foot tall woman was fully clothed and buried with many fine pieces of jewelry including a silver hairpin that still held her hair in place and a huge jade ring on her finger. Atop her wooden coffin was a simple silver medallion known as an Exorcism Coin placed there to protect the body from evil spirits.

A huge jade ring found on the mummy’s hand.

She was discovered by accident under a construction site, immersed in a brown fluid that preserved her.

16. Otzi The Iceman (3300 BC -3255 BC) :  ITALY

Ötzi the Iceman is a well-preserved natural mummy of a man from about 3300 BC (53 centuries ago). The mummy was found in September 1991 in the Schnalstal glacier in the Ötztal Alps, near Hauslabjoch, on the border between Austria and Italy. The nickname comes from Ötztal, the region in which he was discovered. He is Europe’s oldest natural human mummy, and has offered an unprecedented view of Chalcolithic (Copper Age) Europeans. The cause of death was most likely a blow to the head. The body and his belongings are displayed in the South Tyrol Museum of Archaeology in Bolzano, northern Italy.

The Iceman how he was discovered in the Alps

17. The Grauballe Man (Late 3rd Century BC) :  DENMARK

In the mid-20th century, several incredibly well-preserved bodies were discovered in a peat bog in Denmark. Among them, the Grauballe Man is the most fascinating. His still-haunted face, stark red hair, and perfectly discernible facial features also make him one of the most unsettling mummies to look at.Radiocarbon dating of his still-intact liver showed that he lived more than 2,000 years ago, and the evidence found with his body—or lack thereof—suggests that was killed as part of a sacrificial ritual. He died when he was about 30 years old, probably from a deep cut to the neck.

18. King Tutankhamun (1341 BC- 1323 BC) :  EGYPT

He was an Egyptian pharaoh of the 18th dynasty. Tutankhamun was 9 years old when he became pharaoh and reigned for approximately 10 years, until his death. Tutankhamun’s tomb in the Valley of the Kings (where he still resides) was discovered by Howard Carter in 1922 almost completely intact — the most complete ancient Egyptian royal tomb ever found. Eternal life was the main focus of all Ancient Egyptians, which meant preserving the body forever. Egyptians mummified bodies because they believed in an afterlife. Believing that the afterlife was much like life in this world they had to preserve their bodies so they would be able to use them after they die.

His reconstructed face. While Tutankhamun may be the most famous mummy in the world, he certainly is not the best preserved.

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1. “Fuck I’m still here”

 I almost don’t want to share this because I don’t know if it’s helpful for people who are going through it right now. But I’ve seen and read so many accounts of people who changed their mind when it seemed to be too late, or realised all their problems were insignificant once they were almost dead. But that didn’t happen to me.

When I started vomiting blood and bile, all I could think was “I really hope I’m not throwing up the pills right now”. I also felt disgusting and ashamed, but I didn’t want to live and I didn’t change my mind. When I woke up I was covered in blood (some from vomit, but a lot from my arms and legs which I’d absolutely shredded with a blade.) there was sick all over the floor and in my hair, and my clothes and face were wet with tears. I was a mess, and I felt like I’d fucked up my life in every possible way, and I have never felt so disappointed or disgusted with myself than when I properly realised it hadn’t worked.

And honestly I would’ve loved that to be a wake up call or the moment I changed, but it wasn’t. I felt that same disgust for some years afterwards. To me, that was confirmation that I’d never be happy, and that I’d never settle into life in the way that everyone else seemed to. I just accepted that I’d never be happy, and that I’d never stop wanting to die. I can’t really explain why I thought this. I just believed there was something inherently wrong with me, an illness, or something about who I am as a person, which meant I would always feel suicidal.

If I could go back and meet this younger version of myself, I would give her such a huge hug. But I don’t really know what I would tell her. I don’t know what it was that made everything finally click. I don’t know what is happening in my brain now that wasn’t happening then. I think I just finally realised that it’s down to me. Of course you can’t think your way out of depression, but you can learn how to cope with it better, and eventually how to combat it. Over time I completely changed my attitude. Depression still plagued me, it was still there in my head, but I found ways to make it quieter, and ways to make it hurt less. Very, very, slowly, I even found ways to be happy. I realised that my happiness was my responsibility, and I couldn’t just sit there waiting for depression to leave me.

There’s a quote I found during that time which I really like: “no matter how far from the truth we are led by histrionics and lies, the truly, objectively beautiful remains untainted.” I thought about that a lot and I still do. No matter how bad things get, no matter what awful things my brain throws at me, there is objective beauty in this world which can never be taken away. I worked really hard to see it everywhere. Flowers, the moon, my cat, my mum, strawberries, anything at all. I just reminded myself that to me, these things will always be beautiful, and my depression couldn’t stop that. Eventually it was less hard work to find beautiful things. I saw them everywhere, and I still do.

 Another is from Oscar Wilde “the only reason for a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. All art is quite useless.” When I first discovered that quote I believed myself to be useless. This quote made me smile. Everything here is useless really. The only point is to love things and sometimes to let them love you.

I’m happy to be alive. Im happy to be here with all these beautiful things and people. If anyone out there is having a difficult time with suicidal thoughts, or depression, please know that it can get better. Please know that I love you very much and you are a beautiful thing that I’m proud to share a planet with.

2. Well I had attempted to hang myself when I was 15. I have a birth defect (deformed legs) and just couldn’t take the bullying anymore. So I got myself all strung up by a belt stuck in the door jam of my closet, stood up on a stool, and tried to get the courage to knock the stool over.

Then I accidentally knocked the stool over.

I hanged for about fifteen seconds, just long enough to make things start to go black. And then the cheap plastic belt I was using broke.

I hit the ground and just yelled out loud “OH FUCK” because 1. The belt broke and I was still here, and 2. Thank god the belt broke and I was still here.

I’ve found something I am truly passionate about (comic books and animation) and things have been on a steady uphill climb.

3. “Fuck why did they have to call my parents.” Woke up in the hospital handcuffed to a bed with a horrible headache but the worst part was the drama and attention my parents brought to the whole thing. If I could have chosen I would have just spent the week in the hospital with no one knowing and gone back to normal life after.

4. I decided to hang myself with an extension cord in the rafters of my garage. I decided to do a quick test run to make sure the beam would hold before saying my goodbyes to my family. During the test run, I slipped off my chair and actually hung myself. The panic I felt during those few moments I was dangling was all it took to convince myself I should live. I needed desperately to tell my mother I loved her before I went. My father too. I could only think of getting out of it, so I could give them their well deserved goodbyes, and let them know how much I loved them. When I luckily managed to get my footing back on the chair, I realized I wasn’t ready to go. I had so much love left in me. I felt like it gave me a second chance to realize I didn’t want to go through with it. I’m doing well now. I have two beautiful girls, and a man who would give me the moon. I’m happy I had a botched run, because I’m sure I wouldn’t have realized how i really felt if I got to text my final goodbyes.

5. Something along the lines of “What? How?”

I had hung myself and right after I had drifted off I suddenly took a quick breathe and I was wide awake again. I realized I had grabbed the rope and pulled myself up a little bit to allow me to take one small breathe. I then untied the rope and cried for a while before going to the hospital.

I still think about it a lot, because I felt like I had no strength, and couldn’t imagine how I had managed enough to pull myself up, outside of consciousness nonetheless. I just tell myself now that I was saved for a reason, and I have to figure it out. Keeps me from trying again.

6. I was a teenager. I woke up and immediately wondered what day it was, why it didn’t work, and then I checked to see if I had vomited the medication. I felt sick so I went upstairs and discovered that three days had gone by, I was poofy, and my father hadn’t noticed that I was you know, not exactly alive or okay. He didn’t even know if I was in the house. I moved out on my own not long after. I was 16. I did not regret trying and I did not vow never to do it again. I just got on with it. I felt sick for days.

7. “I can’t do anything right”

8. Oh shit oh shit oh shit im still alive im in pain, a bloody mess, still wasted and my car is wrecked how can i kill myself asap in the middle of a fucking field.:

9. “Oh thank God.”

10. Not so much a thought, more the realization that my mother wasn’t upset because I had just tried to kill myself but was angry because the rope had dug deeply into the ceiling rafter and ruined the paint before it snapped.

11. I’ve had many attempts in the past but the one that suck with me the most was

“NO NO NO NO NO NO.I have to get out of here. I can’t do this. I have to leave before anybody finds me awake. Maybe I can make it outside and throw myself in front of a car.”

I just remember how absolutely desperate I was to die at that point. Like an animal backed into a corner I was terrified. I attempted by drug overdose so my body was still shut down. I was able to rip out my IV before a swarm of nurses came to hold me down. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and fighting as hard as a could (which honestly wasn’t all that much). I was willing to hurt these people who were trying to help me just so I could go kill myself.

Sometimes people don’t realize how deep a person falls to reach the point of wanting to kill themselves.

12. I was with the boyfriend. He fell asleep, I wanted to forever. I remember nothing clearly after the ambien. But as soon as I came to, I have weird memory flashes. The boyfriend being in the drivers side of my car… The glaring lights of the first response. He tried to get me in the car, but my breathing slowed dramatically. He had to call 911. He saved my life. Those flashes haunt me, as I’m sure they do him. For me, those memories force me to understand the pain and fear and panic he experienced.

13. I’m a diabetic. I can remember deciding to use my insulin to go. Figured that passing out and dying of a seizure due to hypoglycemia would be a quick and easy way to go.

So I give myself the biggest dose that I could at one time, 60 units of fast acting insulin (it usually takes care of around 600g of carbs) and instantly regret it, so I run to the corner store across the street and get like 4 liters of sodas, and assorted chocolate bars, and dial for a Chinese delivery that arrived about 20 mins later. I got an odd look from the delivery guy as I start eating the chow mein right in front of him.

The entire episode lasted an hour before my blood sugars start to level out. I’ve never had to fight for my life before that, and it was pretty terrifying. But I totally have a new appreciation for food now, because it literally saved my life.

I cried for a while, prayed. As far as what my first thoughts were after I injected myself was probably “omygod, what have I done!” And just ran out of my house.

14. I still have problems with my hands from it. I was going through a period in my life where everything felt grey and it seemed like no matter what i did I couldn’t find any meaningful happiness, almost like I was slowly suffocating. After a couple of months I began to have dreams about killing myself and then one day i made the decision to try it. When I woke up I was actually pretty confused. When the realization kind of sank in where i was and what I had done I didnt feel too strongly, but maybe many different emotions. First it was kind of like that moment when you in the kitchen and you drop something made of glass. After the noise and everything settles down you just kind of sit there looking at all the pieces spread out across the floor. You know you have to clean up the mess but before you start there is that moment where you’re kinda comfortable in the mess.

15. “Eh, guess it didn’t work. Oh well, i should shower.”

I had planned and made my preperations. I tried to overdose and set messages up so that I would not be rotting… took the pills and laid down. Woke up the next day and this was my first thought. Guess it was a sign that I was not meant to die.

Friends did get the messages though and it started a lot of stuff. They called the cops on me later and then I got kicked off campus because the dean didn’t want a death on campus and felt I was high risk. Yeah, thanks.

16. It took a while to have a conscious thought, I suppose from the seriousness of what had just happened. The first thing I thought, aside from the confusion and disbelief of still breathing was both “Godammit” and “This is what you get for forgetting to clean the goddamned gun.”

17. “Not like this” I became conscious in the ER. I still wanted to die, just not in a hospital in a traumatic atmosphere. I had taken paracetamol (too many to count) and had fallen unconscious after vomiting all over myself. My heart rate was dangerously low and my respiration was not ideal.

After I came to consciousness, I accepted all treatment just so I could get out. Now I float round everyday, waiting for the ideal time to try again.

18. “Oh thank God.”

I had suddenly realized that I wasn’t ready to die just yet. When my hands were shaking so badly from the drug withdrawal that I couldn’t even tie the noose, I was so glad I was incapable of killing myself. It felt like God was saving me because I couldn’t trust myself to keep myself alive at that point.

19. Immense guilt. I was 13. I’d been raped by a man. I couldn’t get my head right. I overdosed on everything I could find and went to bed to die. My next memory is laying in bed on the hospital ward with my dad next to the bed. He looked at me and asked: “this wasn’t because of me was it?”

I’ll never forget the guilt I felt in that moment. He’d been sat there all night scared shitless that his son might die and – wrongly – that he might somehow be the cause of it. He’s not what you’d call an emotional man; he’s gruff, pragmatic, conservative. Seeing the tears in his eyes and hearing his voice crack… it will stay with me.

20 more years later, that guilt is what stops going through with it now. I stand at the platform edge waiting for the tube train to roll in, or walking over Waterloo bridge on my way home, and I wish I had it in me to jump. I even went to Canada to try, hoping that the distance would somehow ameliorate the memory. But I feel such guilt … for my family and friends… who, despite whatever note I might leave, would be caused immense grief.

Don’t do it kids. If you feel like you can’t go on, talk to someone.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1 (800) 273-8255

(via)

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How To Avoid The Black Widow Scam When Traveling

This reviewer absolutely HATES this car

Adorable little kid band does a surprisingly good cover of a Rammstein song. Bonus points for little girl killing it on the drum.

Gold scammers owned

Rutgers Students Hit Vending Machine Jackpot

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This is What Regret Looks Like – Leenks

A Few Photos To Remind You That Life Is Beautiful – Ned Hardy

Emily Ratajkowski In Nothing But a Sweater Is a Dream Come True – Maxim

10 Shocking Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Take Your Kids to SeaWorld – Linkiest

‘Haunted Photo’ From Hotel Linked toThe Shining Goes Viral – Newser

Woman Flashes Bare Chest During Live News Report In NSFW Video – Rant Lifestyle

A Farmer Was Drilling For Water When He Found Something That Shocked The Entire World – Slip Talk

Minimum-wage Target employees will be overjoyed with this news about their paychecks – Rare

#AfterSexSelfies That Will Worry You About Today’s Youth – Ranker

10 of the Most Memorable Torture Scenes in Movies – TV Overmind

Caveman’s Hot Picks Of The Day – Caveman Afterdark

Rita Ora’s Butt Shot of the Day – Drunken Stepfather

Iskra Lawrence’s Phat Booty – G-Celeb

Khloe Kardashian Posts An Instagram, Insert Flame Emojis – The Blemish

High School Student With Nearly Perfect GPA Is Panhandling Money For College – Radass

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s apology feels like a hostage video – Celeb Slam

Former Reagan Advisor Issues Frightening Economic Warning Ahead of Elections – Daily Reckoning

45 Examples of Emily DiDonato Eye Candy – Regretful Morning

Oh the places you’ll sleep when you’re drunk as fuck – Ehowa

The post Awesome Stuff Around The Internet appeared first on Caveman Circus.

Instagram

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Grandpa smokes weed for the first time in his life

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Wing Chu vs. Boxing

Respect Shown in Bareknuckle Fight

Fake Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt Exposed

Judo vs Muay Thai

Fabricio Werdum vs Cain Velasquez

Front kick like a BOSS!

Jon Jones MMA Debut

Lethal Left!

16 year-old Manny Pacquiao vs. Renato Mendones 

The most blatantly fixed boxing match that you’ll ever see

Conor McGregor showing off his Pin Point Punching accuracy

I’m glad I have no clue what this feels like

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Discovered this new rad band OYLS, their track ‘Maps’ blends Rock, Soul and Electronic for the perfect summer sound. OYLS new single is set to be on MTV tonight and they are releasing much more music soon, stay tuned!

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