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Robert Downey Jr asks forgiveness for Mel Gibson
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Though I sold a little of just about everything from time to time my meat and potatoes was crank. I was deeply involved in a pretty heavy tweak scene for two years.
For the most part tweak dealers are like the President of the Hair Club For Men: not just the President, but also a client. It’s not a group of people who follow the adage "don’t get high on your own supply." In fact the entire reason I started selling was so that I could get high for free. The first time I tweaked I knew I wanted to feel that way all the time, and that selling was the only way I’d be able to afford it.
Over the two years following that decision I got pretty deep into it, did and sold a lot of speed, spent time around a lot of crazy people, and saw some pretty amazing things. I don’t think I have a story as gripping as Anon’s, but maybe I can provide some insight through a few sketches. Since my experience as a drug dealer is pretty intertwined with my experience as a drug user you’ll get a little of both.
What’s it like to be a drug dealer?
I got to be high all the time. All. The. Time. People say that drug use is a constant attempt to chase down the first high, and that it’s never great again. Nope. It always felt great. I was very, very high for just about two years straight. I loved it. How much did I love it?
I did so much speed that my hair fell out. My teeth rotted in my head, to the point that I shattered my wisdom teeth one day by eating a piece of candy. I got nosebleeds that ran so hard I just held a dixie cup under my nose and let it fill. I did so much damage to my sinuses that when my nose bled I would get blood flecks coming out of my tear ducts. Yes, I actually cried blood.
I loved it enough that none of those things slowed me down. It felt so good that I didn’t care. Unlike most people who had to slow down or stop when they ran out of money or speed, I never ran out. That was the magic of being a drug dealer. I could do as much as I wanted, all the time. I did enough that, on the few occasions I decided I didn’t want to be higher, the people around me were shocked. Shocked. They were worried something was wrong.
I built up a pretty big roll on two occasions. Both times I lost everything. Once I was swindled and the other time I was robbed. Both times I could have recovered what was taken from me and prevented it from happening again, but I wasn’t willing to take the steps I would have needed to.
I wasn’t afraid of a fight but I was never willing to take the kind of severe retributive action that would have been necessary to intimidate people from stealing from me. I had acquaintances who were willing to take that kind of action for me but I wasn’t willing to be responsible for it, and it would have meant some deepening of commitments that I didn’t want to make.
The only solution was really to stay small. I was well-liked and well-connected enough that nobody would mess with me over a few hundred dollars. Unfortunately that meant that though I had access to bulk purchases and large fronts I wasn’t able to really take advantage of them, and had to grind out 8-balls and quarter ounces. I didn’t make enough for a real living and could have been making big money, but wasn’t really willing to do what it would take.
Sex on speed is great. People in the early stages of a tweak are horny. Girls love drug dealers. Especially in the first year I had more amazing sex with more people in more configurations on speed than in any other period of my life. I won’t go into more torrid details.
I was threatened with knives. Once a guy with four spiked rings on his hand was a second from punching me in the face. I’ve had guns pointed at my head.
Once someone started a rumor that I was a narc (I wasn’t). For the next several weeks I didn’t know if I would get killed. I walked into the houses of dangerous, paranoid men hoping that the strength of my reputation and or my relationships with them would get me back out the door again.
When I say "dangerous and paranoid" I mean men who took care of problems with soundproofed rooms and ball peen hammers. The only way to deal with them was to walk straight into their paranoia without showing any fear. Inside I was terrified that I would never leave the places I walked into, but not showing up or panicking would have convinced them to kill me, and so I had to hope they wouldn’t believe the rumors.
So many people are dead. Friends overdosed and crumpled to the floor in front of me like puppets with their strings cut. A girl I knew borrowed a car once and brought it back with a ding. The guy she borrowed the car from shot her to death. She was pregnant. More than one friend committed suicide. People I knew were beaten, robbed, murdered for money or drugs or slights.
Others are in prison, or spent enough years in prison that they’ll never be accepted in society. Friends were in and out of juvie from the time they were 14. People thought of jail as a regular place for people to be coming back from, like college or a family vacation.
A few wound up in mental institutions. Speed can crack your brain open, and some people don’t come all the way back. Most of those people wind up on the street or dead, so I guess an institution is actually less tragic.
There were many occasions when I wasn’t in my right mind, but once I had a complete break. I had been up for 8 days and I had spent the night hanging out with someone who was incredibly sketchy and set off every cop alarm bell I had (I don’t have any idea whether he was a cop and I never saw him again after that, but I heard a couple of months later that he got hit by a car. Twice.)
Between the long time up and the sketchy night I cracked in the morning. I went to another friend’s house for a while, but when I left there I knew I was being followed. I saw the truck across the street where they were set up watching me. I saw the footprints in the snow that proved they had been getting in and out of the truck.
I dumped everything I had, and I got one of my only truly trustworthy friends to pick me up and take me to his house. I posted up at his window and watched the cars that were driving by his cul de sac watching me. Two snowplows went by, and I knew they set up a road block around the corner.
Lots of cars went by, enough that most people might not notice the cops. I did though. They were in red cars. There was a red pickup. A red minivan. A red coupe. A red jeep. Those ones kept circling, and they had the cops in them. Every time I saw a red Jeep it was more proof that they had a red Jeep.
I was terrified that they were going to come take me away to prison (though I had nothing on me). I knew this was the end of a long operation to catch me. I came about 15 seconds from walking out the front door and showing them (in a permanent and dramatic way) that I wouldn’t be pushed around.
Luckily my friend, who had long experience with this kind of thing, convinced me to hold off. Somehow he convinced me that I should get three nights of sleep before taking the kind of drastic action I was planning, and that if I still felt like taking action after that he would be right there beside me. Thank God.
It actually did take three days. After the third night of sleep it all melted away. I can still remember with crystal clarityjust how sane I felt. It’s very humbling to think about just how sane I felt during a complete psychotic break.
Big rock in my pocket? Lots of friends. Down to my last ends? Not a lot of people around. Need a place to stay? Not a lot of people around. Down for the count after an illness? Well, you get it.
Not a lot of people around. It’s was easy to think I was popular and awesome when things were going well, but it was when things were going badly that I found out who my real friends were. They were easy to spot because they were the only ones still in the room. Those people still get Christmas calls and birthday gifts. Those people will have me on a plane with a phone call for anything they need for the rest of my life.
Once I had a backpack full of drugs and paraphernalia including a digital scale. The drugs were weighed and bagged up for selling. My friend’s vehicle broke down and as we got out, a police car pulled up behind us. One officer went to talk to my friend, and the other came to talk to me.
He asked me where I was going, and I told him I was headed to a friend’s house to spend the night. He asked me what was in the bag, and I could already feel the cuffs on my wrists. I knew I was going to go to prison for a long time. I started pulling the bag off my shoulder to open it and he said "you don’t have to show me, I’m just curious what you have in the bag."
Somehow I managed to keep from sobbing with relief and I told him I just had some clothes and CDs. He believed me, the other officer helped my friend get the vehicle started, and we were on our way.
When I was a teenager I was wicked smart, but not socially adept or empathetic. I had a high IQ and a basement low EQ. That changed in two years.
I was pretty unimportant but I was adjacent to some fairly impressive people. If you’ve ever seen the show Gangland on the History Channel, I know a couple guys from one of the episodes. I learned a lot just being around and watching them.
I came out of that time significantly less smart than I had been. I’m sure I killed brain cells. I’m not as good at math or science as I was before. But I’m also pretty well liked and pretty good at communicating. I don’t scare easily. I know I can survive things worse than most of my peers can imagine. I learned how to trust my gut and how to judge people quickly. My snap judgements about people are usually very good. I have a stronger sense of ethics and loyalty than many people I know.
It’s not something I would recommend. I got very, very lucky. I don’t regret it any more than I regret any of my life, since I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it, but I’m sure there are easier, more pleasant paths to success. They probably go through Stanford or something.
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Caveman’t Hot Picks Of The Day – Caveman Afterdark
Motorcyclist Rescues Little Dog He Saw Being Beaten And Thrown To Side Of Highway – Ned Hardy
We Can’t Get Enough of Samantha Gradoville on Instagram – Maxim
Kim K Just Recreated Her Infamous Nudie With Emily Ratajkowski Because She Still Has Nothing To Wear – Linkiest
Hostage took a selfie with plane hijacker on Egypt Air – Newser
A Former Valet Reveals All the Shit Valets Do to Fancy Cars – VICE
This Is What Happens When A Guy Gets Sick Of Divorce And Then Loses His Job. And It’s Brilliant – Slip Talk
The Most Dated Experiences of 2000s Teens – Ranker
‘Babes For Trump’ Twitter Account Is Exactly What You Hope It Is — Total Babes – Rant
Kendall Jenner Soaks Up The Sun In A Bikini – Crave
The life of a rural doctor in 1948 – Leenks
Jessica Simpson’s Huge Bewbs Busting Out of a Bikini – Drunken Stepfather
Girls of Instagram: Dolly Castro (42 Photos) – Radass
Carmen Electra’s Booty Still Looks Nice – G-Celeb
The Real Reason We Need to Stop Trying to Protect Everyone’s Feelings – Thougth Catalog
Obama signs $42.4B payout to a shocking group of people. Hint: It’s people who actually deserve it – Oxford
The 10 Greatest Rolling Stones Concerts of All-Time – TV Overmind
Rihanna just made the sexiest music video ever – Celeb Slam
Want to Sleep In an Underwater Room Surrounded by Sharks For Free? – Worthly
Courtney Stodden Reveals Her True Self in Makeup Free Selfie…Yikes! – The Blemish
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More than 30 years ago, a bear cub named Fifi arrived at a Pennsylvania roadside zoo. For years, she and other bears were forced to perform confusing tricks, like standing on their hind legs. After the roadside zoo closed its doors more than 20 years ago, Fifi languished in a tiny, rusted cage that contained nothing more than a dilapidated doghouse for shelter.
Fifi was thin, her coat was dull and dirty, and she suffered from painful, untreated arthritis. Every step was a struggle. In July 2015, PETA and The Wild Animal Sanctuary rescued her. She was transported to the Colorado facility, where she finally had the care and the vast habitat that she deserved.
After just five months at the sanctuary, Fifi’s body finally matches her big and beautiful personality. She is healthy, her coat is full, and her legs are getting stronger every day. And this year, for the first time in her long life, Fifi is hibernating in her new, comfy den.
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A Few Photos To Remind You That Life Is Beautiful – Ned Hardy
Meet The Gold Supercar-Collecting Saudi Sheik Who Rolls With His Pet Cheetah – Maxim
36 Unbelievable Movie Scenes Before-And-After Special Effects – Linkiest
Tesla Model 3 announced: release set for 2017, price starts at $35,000 – The Verge
Here Are 27 Of The Best April Fools Pranks To Pull On Your Friends And Co-Workers. Number 15 Is Downright Mean! – Slip Talk
The Happiest Places On Earth 2016 – Leenks
Rupert Murdoch’s Ex Dating Putin – Newser
Instagram and the Cult of the Attention Web: How the Free Internet is Eating Itself – Medium
The Hottest Wives and Girlfriends of Sports Owners – Ranker
Kylie Jenner Shares Her Top Instagram Photos From 2015 – Crave
22 Shows That Were Canceled Too Soon – Binged Watch
Struggles Every Kid Had Growing Up In The ’90s – Rant
X-Rated Red Carpet!-You wont believe what these celebs wore… or didn’t wear! – Radar Online
Why Every Man Should Go to a Barbershop – The Art Of Manliness
It’s Time To Fill Your Cup and Get Ready for the Weekend (48 Photos) – Radass
Hot babes on the set of Baywatch – Drunken Stepfather
Where are They Now? The Cast of Die Hard – TV Overmind
Smoking hot coffee shop girl in barely nothing! (nsfw) – Ehowa
Girl Kicks Out Maryland Basketball Player After Sex and Snapchats the Whole Thing – The Blemish
Jessica Simpson Doing the ‘Alba’ Bikini Pose in Cabo – G-Celeb
38 Barely Dressed Pics Of Jessica Cribbon – Regretful Morning
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Pratt dropped out of a local community college halfway through the first semester and, after working as a discount ticket salesman and a daytime stripper, he ended up homeless in Maui, sleeping in a van and in a tent on the beach.
“It’s a pretty awesome place to be homeless. We just drank and smoked weed and worked minimal hours, just enough to cover gas, food, and fishing supplies.”He recalled listening to the Dr. Dre album 2001 daily to the point where he knew “every word to that album”
Fire needs three things in order to burn: heat, fuel, and oxygen. On a normal day your home contains fuel (things that could burn) and oxygen in the air, so you prevent fires by never letting it get hot enough – not starting a fire. Meanwhile if your house does catch fire and nobody does anything, it’ll burn until there’s nothing left that can burn – at the end there’s heat and oxygen, but no fuel.
What can happen when a fire gets developed in a house is that it can burn until there’s barely any oxygen left in a room. There’s heat and fuel, but without that last ingredient the fire grinds to a halt.
Now you open a door to that room (or a window breaks) and a whole rush of oxygen-rich air goes flooding in. All those hot flammable items catch fire in an instant, creating a fireball that can blast out of the open door or window.
So, if you’re ever unlucky enough to find yourself in a fire, touch each door and door handle before you open it. If it’s hot, your salvation is not on the other side, so leave that door closed – and watch out for being above the window of a room that’s on fire. The heat’s going to shatter the glass at some point, and when it does you don’t want to be above it.
His most dramatic (and dangerous) tests involved the use of a rocket sled which accelerated Stapp to just bellow the speed of sound before decelerating back to a standstill in a fraction of a second, subjecting Stapp to 43G’s!
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1. That when you say you’re broke you really are. They always think you must have some money. I find my middle class friends and family will always assume I can come out for a meal or to socialise when I tell them I’m out of cash. I guess middle class people always have some savings and aren’t checking the back of the sofa for loose change.
2. That not everyone is poor because they’re lazy or stupid or just didn’t try hard enough. There’s this deeply embedded belief in our country that poor people somehow deserve to be poor, and it’s amazing to me how blindly people believe this.
My parents have worked my entire life, often more than one job at a time. When I was in high school both my parents had two jobs, and we could still barely afford stuff. And it’s not because they’re lazy, that’s for damn sure. It’s not because they’re dumb, either. It’s because shit fucking happens sometimes, man. It’s been nearly the same for me.
My husband and I are much better off financially than we were a few years ago, thanks to a lot of hard work, but we’re still not even middle class, just living paycheck to paycheck and some months, having to sell something to buy groceries. My husband had a second job delivering pizzas for a while, just to make ends meet. I’ve seen for myself how insanely difficult it is to get out of debt and get ahead.
Literally every time I’ve managed to get a little money in the bank, something happens like a car breaking down or someone having to go to the hospital, and wipes it all out. Shit’s hard and being poor sucks. I’m never going to be rich; the best I can hope for is to eventually be comfortable. And it’s not because I’m fucking lazy.
As much as everyone dearly loves the whole “hard work will make you rich!” line, I’m sorry, it’s not really true. Yes, hard work is a huge component, BUT, so is luck, and a million other things you have no control over. Christ, just look at how many people got fucked over during the economic recession. That had nothing to do with how hard they did or didn’t work.
3. Knowing that falling sick and losing a weeks’ pay would cause financial burden that would take weeks, if not months to recover from.
That is fear.
4. I showed up at work once with walking pneumonia because I couldn’t afford to be off a single day, and couldn’t afford the insurance my company offered. My boss asked me why in hell I came to work, and I told him honestly — I can’t afford to not be here.
He made me go home, but paid me for the day. Problem is, I lost my OT that week because sick/vacation time doesn’t count the same. 36 hours + 8 hours sick time = 44 hours of straight pay. I ate two packs of ramen a day for two weeks because of that.
5. The feeling of the check engine light coming on and knowing that the repairs will likely cost more than you have to your name.
6. I got paid today. Checked my balance just like I do every morning, all good. I stop to get gas on my way to work, splurge and buy a Pepsi. I swipe my card, enter my PIN, and stare at it with this sinking feeling that it won’t go through. When it does I feel an incredible sense of relief that, today at least, I don’t have to feel like a piece of crap.
People who have never had this issue don’t understand that, when you’ve lived with no money, even when you do get some, you still expect it to not be there.
7. That the system is heavily geared against people who do not have money. Not having money costs significantly more than having money, making it even harder to get by.
You and I could have the exact same life expenses, but if my income or life circumstances have not allowed me to build up savings and I am living paycheck to paycheck (or worse), it is costing me significantly more in the form of NSF fees ($100 a pop in most cases), re-connection charges, gas/bus fare/time to make several small trips to the grocery store instead of one or two big ones, interest (got lots of money? have a car at 0%; have no money? 29%), bank fees (banks charge monthly fees to those of us who don’t have a bunch of money in savings with them, then add more fees on top of that for services people with money get free), and so on.
Want to avoid one of these? It will cost you more money. Payday loan charges that cost more than the NSF fee you’re avoiding so you can cover a utility bill because if you miss one more payment you’ll have to pay off your bill completely before getting reconnected, plus a $200 re-connection charge, plus a $1000 security deposit.
To top it all off, being in this situation is stressful – extremely so if you have a family – leading a majority into starting or increasing drinking and/or smoking and/or drugs, which costs even MORE money, or depression, which causes a host of other problems including possibly losing their job.
It is a vicious cycle to break, possible only by extreme self-sacrifice (I know of a mother of 4 who lived in a tiny trailer far out of town with no car, everybody in one bedroom, 10km walk to school, 20km walk to store, no electricity, no heat – sleeping in winter jackets and gloves when it is -20C outside [and inside], etc.), a huge infusion of cash to pay things off and break the cycle (plus help to keep from falling back into it), or bankruptcy (which, as the ultimate FUCK YOU joke, many people in serious debt CANNOT AFFORD TO DO, since bankruptcy requires a minimum monthly payment, and if you include things like utility bills then you have to pay massive deposits to get service again).
8. If you slip even once, you might as well be starting over with nothing. Even with a large influx of cash, it costs more to get out of debt than the amount that got you in debt in the first place, which a lot of people don’t understand.
How can you owe someone $900 when your original bill was $400? Well, because they can slap on a few late fees and then charge interest on the increased amount. People want debtors to remain in debt. They make far more money when people can’t pay their bills, ironically.
9. That having the “right” attitude can only take you so far and that being poor becomes so incredibly complicated when you’re dealing with mental health issues and personal issues brought on by finances.
It feels like my family and I will never get to feel true safety in a good neighborhood and just what it feels like to have fun doing carefree activities like traveling, going out to eat somewhere, casually deciding to see a movie. We’re all just frozen in time trying to catch up and it’s taken a toll on everyone’s happiness.
10. My family immigrated to Canada more than three decades ago. We were political refugees and my parents had nothing beside what they were wearing. It took more than a decade of sacrifices before they could save enough money to start a small business.
They had to take a huge loan from the bank. The first two years were incredibly difficult. For example, my parents had to work on average 16 hours everyday including the weekends and the holidays. Eventually, it paid off but the risk taken was extremely high. We had relatives and friends who started similar businesses and some of them had to file for bankruptcy only after three to four years.
Breaking the cycle of poverty can be a daunting task. Even if you try your best, it might not even work. This is one of the reasons why I am disappointed when one of my coworkers or classmates (none of them had to grow up in poverty) belittle and judge poor people without knowing their personal background.
11. My coworker (who works because she wants to) says the upper classes shouldn’t have to pay more tax because they worked hard to get where they are so they shouldn’t be penalized for the lazy lower class people. I said the lazy lower class people like me that work three jobs to make ends meet? I should pay more taxes so you can spend more time in Europe each year?
12. A day off work to most people is a fun day to relax. To a poor person it’s the difference between having money to pay all of this weeks expenses and having to forgo one, then you’re a month behind on one bill and have to find the overtime somewhere to cover it or else shuffle other bills around the next month. Then the cycle continues. Several days off work could lead to a loss of a car, or your home.
I’ve been there, it’s horrible. I lost count of the number of times I went to work running a fever and feeling horrible just because I knew if I didn’t my family would not eat.
13. Human problems don’t necessarily equate to character problems. That person with a spot on his or her record, or a substance abuse issue, or depression, or a lot of sheer frustration, may never have gotten to that point if they’d had the same opportunities, contacts, safety nets etc. that you may have had. Most likely, they’re expending more energy than you imagine just to stay afloat.
14. Trying to save money is the worst. I am not anywhere near being homeless, my bills are paid there is food in the fridge and a roof over my head but after that’s all said and done I’m generally broke. My car recently blew its head gasket which means I need to replace the engine/fix it/ or get a new car…Getting a new car isn’t an option since I still owe in this one so it is a new engine or bust.
Trying to save for this is almost impossible right now as I still need 1000 bucks essentially to cover it. My fiance and I have been sharing her car (which is probably growing tiresome for her since she is sacrificing some of her freedom during the day) which means I go to work when she does and I pick her up when she is done. This is losing me a few hours if pay a week as I can’t skip my lunch break to make up time so I’m sucking up every minute on the clock I can before I have to pick her up. I’m thoroughly grateful that sharing a car is even an option but it’ll be alot better when I can get my car back up and running.
15. I cannot just “save” money. I do not have anything left at the end of the month. No, I don’t eat out. No, I don’t buy frivolous things. I pay bills and buy bread. So, no, I can’t save up.
So many people who are well off always tell me “It’s so important to save up. Make sure you have a few thousand saved for emergencies!”
Yeah, I’d love to, but I literally cannot. I would have to go without food or gas or a home in order to save. No, I cannot even save a dollar. I have to use it. No, I’m not trying to be difficult, I’m being serious.
It seems to be SO hard for people who don’t struggle to understand.
16. I’m middle class now, but I still function with a poor/working class mindset — I think at a certain point it’s just burned in. If you’ve never had to literally rummage through your entire home to find enough change to get on the subway/bus/give someone a few bucks for gas, then you’ll probably never quite understand what, “I don’t have any money means.” Saying that and then hearing “Dude it’s only 10 bucks!” means they can’t comprehend it. (and I’m sensitive to the fact that we’re talking about American ‘poor’ — not insinuating that somehow that’s the global standard of poverty)
17. Things that are necessary, that you pay extra money for? They pay for those things in time. You paid extra for a car to drive to work. It takes you say, 20 mins to get there, 20 mins back. They pay 5 bucks a day to take the bus, which takes them an hour to travel the same distance, and an hour back. Not counting the time they spend just waiting for the bus.
So, every month, assuming they are lucky enough to work full time, they spend $100 and lose 40 hours to transportation alone. That is an entire extra week of work per month to just get to work.
18. My work shoes are a pair of black trainers I got at a thrift store. They are falling apart. They leak. They give me blisters. I work 16+ hour shifts on my feet. But I can’t afford better, comfy shoes that will last because they require a lump sum of money up front. So instead I end up buying cheap shoes every couple of months I walk through them.
Quality costs money, and poor people don’t have money, so in order to survive we just consume shit and make do until it breaks and then get the cheapest deal we can because new trainers are a luxury even at a fiver. We feel guilt for buying it even though it’s essential.
19. Telling someone to work hard, doesn’t mean they can escape their situation. There are cleaners on minimum wage that work harder, and longer, than 99% of the population, but they’re still on minimum wage, so can barely cover the rent.
(via AskReddit)
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15 Photos Guaranteed To Put A Smile On Your Face – Ned Hardy
Cindy Crawford in a Bikini Is Everything We Needed This Monday – Maxim
This Is The Deadliest Trail In The World. You’re About To Find Out Why – Slip Talk
Isabel Lahela has that thickness – Linkiest
Selena Gomez Nips Out in a Sexy Suit – Popoholic
Too Lazy To Go To Taco Bell? Watch Two Stoners Teach You How To Make It All At Home – Rant
Famous Child Stars You Wouldn’t Recognize Today – Leenks
7 tax strategies the rich don’t want you to know – Business Insider
Britney Spears in a Pink Bikini of the Day – Drunken Stepfather
25 Great Movies That Flopped – Movies Talk
The Moments That Made Wrestling Fans Cry Hardest – Ranker
Adrienne Bailon Brought Her Bikini Thickness to Mexico – G-Celeb
The WikiLeaks of the Mega-Rich….Leak shows what much of the world’s 99% believes – Newser
Scott Disick Came Back to Claim This Ass – The Blemish
19 Hipster Restaurants That Need To Be Immediately Fucking Stopped – Buzzfeed
China’s Treasury Dump Should Scare Americans – Wall Street Daily
Happy Bras Optional Monday (39 Photos) – Radass
15 Examples of Replacing Actors In Movies with Themselves – TV Overmind
25 Pics of Australian Sensation Sheridyn Fisher – Regretful Morning
The Best 100 Photos of the Week – Suburban Men
Sometimes you just can’t overcome stupid (30 Photos) – Bad Sentinel
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