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The only acceptable Harlem Shake

It is official, the future is NOW!

Go Go Rangers!

That was magnificently unexpected

Wembley Stadium

1 Horse vs 18 men

Morning coffee

This shoe is going one direction

I ordered curly fries!

Who the fu*k are you Bro?!

I don’t think that’s right

No, thanks, I’ll handle this…

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by Nick Notas

Ever wonder how some people seem to walk into a room and command everyone’s attention? Or how your one buddy always gets a warm response when talking to girls? The answer may lie in their eyes.

Repeat after me…

You cannot make successful connections without strong eye contact.

Even more so than having a confident voice, eye contact is the foundation of all your social interactions. While the whole “eyes are the windows to your soul” may sound cheesy, it’s actually a profound statement.

The second you meet someone, your eyes convey a wide range of emotions: from fear, to happiness, to confidence, to trustworthiness, to even sexual attraction. The wrong display can leave you frustrated as to why your interactions are cold and detached. While the right display can captivate people with your presence and have women feeling flustered all over.

Understand tense vs relaxed eyes

Tension in your eyes is a conversation killer. If you want to be inviting, you have to display “softer” eye contact.

Tense, narrow eyes typically occur when we feel “negative” emotions. That includes fear, anxiety, anger, stress, and insecurity. They also appear when you’re focusing intensely on something (like studying or playing a first person shooter). Doing this prevents you from showing a variety of positive emotions which then makes people perceive you as unfriendly.

Relaxed eyes occur when you’re at your most comfortable. And relaxed does not mean uninterested or unfocused. It just means you’re not physically or mentally strained in that moment.

Visualize a memory that makes you feel happy or content. For example: receiving great news, accomplishing something, spending time with good company, or snuggling with your pet. Your eyes will naturally change into a relaxed, warm, and inviting state.

There’s another great exercise in The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane — one of my favorite books on confident body language:

…It all comes down to the way we pay attention. If we’re in narrow, focused, evaluative attention—imagine viewing the world through the eyes of a police officer—our stress system will be on constant, low-grade alert. This brings our eyes into sharp focus, increases our stress responses, and results in both our face and our eyes tensing. It greatly inhibits the amount of warmth we can project.

Charismatic eye contact means switching to a softer focus. This immediately relaxes our eyes and face, and quiets down our stress system. Here are three simple steps to help you switch to a soft, open focus: First, close your eyes. Focus on the space around you, the empty space in the room. Now focus on the space filling the entire universe. That’s it—you’ve moved into “soft focus.”

For some visual references of the two, see tense Clint Eastwood vs relaxed Clint Eastwood. Again, mean and scary vs nice and friendly.

Practice feeling the difference between tensed and relaxed focuses. Then when you feel tension around your eyes in conversation, remind yourself to breathe and soften your eye contact. At first you’re going to consciously do this until it’s a habit and you become more comfortable in social situations. At the same time, leading with the physical change will subsequently influence your mental state to be at ease.

10 Essential rules for confident eye contact

1. Look at the horizon while walking. You want to meet eyes with people as you move. This creates opportunities for you to approach and provides invitations for them to approach you. That can’t happen if you’re staring at the ground in front of you.
2. If you meet eyes with a woman before approaching, don’t break eye contact until she does. You want to have a genuine smile as well otherwise it could come off murderous. This shows confidence and that you’re potentially interested in her. It makes your intentions clear and sets up a natural progression for you to say hello.
3. Eye contact during introductions is an absolute must. Those first few seconds say a lotand can set the tone of the rest of the interaction. Especially with women, making strong eye contact from the start shows security and says “I want to get to know you.”
4. Maintain steady eye contact when speaking with someone. There are no absolute rules, but it should be over 80% of the time in one-on-one discussions. Just remember to casually break eye contact every 5-7 seconds or so. You can and may hold longer during intimate moments.
5. Avoid looking down during conversation, it makes you seem embarrassed, anxious, or worse, disingenuous. Look slightly to the side, up, or past the listener when you need to temporarily break eye contact.
6. Focus on one eye at a time. It’s almost impossible to look at both simultaneously and comes off weird when you try.
7. Switch your focus point periodically. Feel free to change which eye you’re looking at throughout the conversation. You can use also use a trick called “triangular gazing” in which you keep rotating between one eye, their other eye, and their mouth.
8. Take your time when glancing around. Sudden, jerky eye movement puts people off. They can feel that you’re distracted or nervous. If you want to look at something else, smoothly move your eyes towards it rather than snapping your gaze or head.
9. Stay present in social groups. I know when someone else is talking your mind can wander. But staring into the distance or at something else for an extended period of time is rude and awkward. Be aware, catch yourself, and readjust your attention to the person speaking.
10. Be expressive with your eyes while talking and listening. This demonstrates you’re engaged and active in the conversation. Raise your eyebrows in shock or to show curiosity. Briefly widen your eyes when speaking with excitement. Roll your eyes in humorous agreement or to tease her. Squint your eyes to playfully show distrust in one of her statements.

    You want your expressiveness to become a subtle, natural response and not forced or over the top. Practice in the mirror if you have to. And as always…smile often.

Overcome your eye contact anxiety

While all the advice above is helpful, it only matters if you can actually apply it. We need to overcome the anxiety you feel when looking at someone’s eyes. We’re going replace that flight response of “OMG avert eyes now!” with healthy enthusiasm.

We do this through repetition in progressively more challenging stages. Find the stage where it becomes is difficult for you and start there.

Stage 1:

Walk down a busy street. For every person coming towards you, just try to hold eye contact and smile. You’ll notice how many people perk up and will return a warm smile or even greet you.

Stage 2:

Start greeting those strangers with a simple “Hi” while smiling and holding eye contact. Again, you’ll notice how many people return the gesture and how it encourages your mood and motivates you. This will help manage approach anxiety as well.

Stage 3:

Use your relaxed focus and 10 rules with people you feel most comfortable with. This may be your closest friends and family. Recognize if you’re tensing up or breaking any of the guidelines and actively fix them.

Stage 4:

Use your relaxed focus and 10 rules on every person you have a casual interaction with. This may be cashiers, baristas, tellers, mailmen, professors, etc. Do this until it pushes your comfort zone and then some.

Stage 5:

Use your relaxed focus and 10 rules on every person you have a personal or intimateinteraction with, especially women you’re interested in. This may also include your boss or co-workers. It might take a few tries before you get it right. But it’s okay to “mess up”, that’s part of the learning process.

If you haven’t figured out the secret to good eye contact yet, it’s because there isn’t one. You need to practice until it becomes second nature. And not just occasional practice or with certain people, either. It needs to be with every person you come in contact with — no exceptions!

Check out more awesme articles by Nick at The Dating Specialist

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Miss Teen Delaware did naughty things before she got crowned – Drunken Stepfather

WTF??!! North Korea’s 28 State-Approved Hairstyles – Ned Hardy

The Most Comfortable Dog In The World – We Rule The Internet

Check Out These Blue-Eyed Bombshells – Knowd

TV’s 10 Trippiest Alternate Realities – Crowd Ignite

When one 155mm just won’t do (Video) – The Brigade

Selena Gomez Unleashes Her Sexiest Display Of Her Wicked Little Body Yet… WOW! – Popoholic

Chances You Are Not As Lazy As This (41 pics) - Linkiest 

Pink In A Bikini Is One Handsome Lady – Celeb Jihad

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Bikini Bottoms in Malibu – G-Celeb

Emma Watson Is A Babe (12 Pics) – Double Viking

Brooke Burke is fit…dayum! – Celeb Slam

Girls And Mirrors…Yeah It’s Awesome – Bro My God

Sesame Street Fighter Returns – Unreality Mag

Talita Correa Will Surely Be In Your Dreams – Uncoached

Tramp Stamp Tuesday – Regretful Morning

100 Pictures Of Sexy Girls In Da Club – Super Booyah

Boyfriend Pushes Girlfriend Off Cliff (VIDEO) – World Wide Interweb

Karina Derizans of CW’s “The Catalina” Bikini Photos in Miami – Moe Jackson

30 Million Locust Swarm Attacks Egypt – Ego TV

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Video $4.5m Lamborghini Veneno unveiled

Top 10 takedowns in MMA history

New Iron Man 3 Trailer

I’ve definitely been to this party…Average Party

Guy Tries to Protect His Car from Hail

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A tour through a hospital in Djibouti. People would wait outside for days at a time for family members to receive treatment. Feral cats would pass in and out through the gaps in the masonry.

Someone decided to use the A/C unit in a storage room as a water bottle cooler.

A view of the courtyard.

The surgical scrub sink.

Some supplies on a shelf.

Found an old specimen forgotten on a shelf.

A mystery syringe on a ledge in the courtyard.

Ready for surgery.

A common injury in this area.

Persistent fly on surgeon’s cap.

After surgery, found where they throw out their bio-hazardous waste. Cats were digging out the bloody gauze.

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by Mancredible

I can’t think of a more important topic to write about than this. If you want to thrive in this world and do great things; If you want to have an impact on people’s lives; If you want be happy and live stress-free: You have to stop caring what other people think of you. It’s absolutely necessary to freely express yourself. It’s the only way to be an originator, a leader, and a creator.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to stop caring about people’s opinions. It’s in our nature to want to fit in and be accepted by our peers. There is a certain comfort that comes along with feeling accepted. However, if this desire to be accepted becomes the driving force in your life, you will become a watered down version of yourself, frightened to do anything that might attract criticism.

And that’s not what you want, is it? But, we’ve all been afraid to express ourselves at some point in our lives. If you haven’t been afraid to show the world something you’ve created, you’re probably not taking enough chances. The act of creating requires you to stand out from the pack and be an individual…voluntarily. This takes guts, the kind of guts that all Mancredible readers should strive to have.

2 things to remember next time you start to worry about someone’s opinion…

1. Nobody cares about you as much as you – People are extremely self-centered. And it makes sense: we’re trapped in our bodies and being ‘you’ is all that ‘you’ know. Everyone is living in their own first person shooter, and so we spend all of our time thinking about ourselves. In fact, most criticism people give is merely a reflection of how they feel about themselves.

So, next time you start to worry what someone is thinking about you, remind yourself that they are most likely thinking about themselves, that they have better things to do than think about you. Keep it in perspective, what may have felt like a big deal in your life probably meant very little in their lives.

2. Worrying is pointless – Worrying what someone thinks about you is faulty on three fronts. First, you don’t even know what they think of you or why they feel that way. Second, there is little you can do to change their opinion of you. Third, you shouldn’t care about their opinion anyways, worry about living up to your own standards, not theirs.

By time it’s gotten far enough for you to be worrying, it’s probably too late. There’s never a reason to regret the past because it can’t be changed. And there’s never a reason to worry about the future because you can’t control the future. All that you control is what you do now, in this moment.

7 ways to stop caring what other people think

1. Stop second-guessing yourself. Think before you act, but when you act, be decisive and move on with your life. There is no reason to playback events over and over, ruminating over whether you made the right decision. Put everything in perspective and ask yourself whether it will matter in 1 month. Chances are that it won’t, so let it be.

2. Stop letting others’ opinions influence your self-worth and confidence. As long as you seek external validation in the form of praise, admiration, compliments, awards, etc, you will never be secure in yourself. As long as you are alive, someone will hold a negative opinion of you, and the more successful you are, the more this is true. You can’t control opinions, so why let them control the way you feel?

3. Practice putting yourself ‘out there’. Instead of waiting until the game is on the line, why not practice putting yourself in tough situations that don’t matter so you can develop a tough skin? Start conversations random girls, throw yourself into the center of a dance circle, write an article and share it with people. Make yourself vulnerable now so that you can have immunity to criticism when you really need it.

4. Those that truly care will always support you. You should never be afraid to express yourself because those who are there for you will still be there for you. The other people don’t matter. 

5. Accept the fact that you will make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. And even if you were perfect, you can’t control the outcomes to your actions. And even if you could control the outcomes, you still can’t control people’s reactions to them. And if you control everything, congratulations, you are God and I’m honored to have you as a reader.

6. Focus on your success. There’s always a bright spot somewhere in your life, find it and use it to empower you to do things that scare you.

7. Extinguish fear by taking action. Ever found yourself dreading a phone call? You put it off and worry. You find other things that allow you to procrastinate. Then you finally force yourself to call, expecting the worst….and it really isn’t so bad. You could have saved yourself a lot of stress by taking immediate action. Doing something has a way of quieting the negative voice inside of you. Next time you are worried about someone’s opinion, instead of worrying about it, do something about it. Talk to them, talk to someone else, write about it in a journal, do something you love to do so you can move past it. Anything is better than thinking about it and getting stressed out.

Challenge

I highly recommend you implement some of the above tips in your life so that you can develop self-confidence like a rock and really start living carefree. To start your training, pick one of the following and do it today:

-Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know and have a 5 minute conversation

-Get the phone number of a girl you think is out of your league

-Go to a public place and yell at the top of your lungs, then just stand there and allow everyone to look at you

Practice putting yourself out there. Build your “I don’t give a shit” muscle. Do it now.

If you found this helpful, share it with a friend or practice voicing your opinion in the comments. If you want the latest from Mancredible, subscribe to our feed or join our email list. Thanks for reading!

Check out more awesome articles by Mancredible here >>

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Spring Breakers is going to be one hell of a movie – Popoholic

Cats Recreate Famous Album Covers (33 Pics) – Ned Hardy

The Cutest Little Sheep You Will Ever Lay Your Eyes Upon – We Rule The Internet

The Sexiest Photo Shoots Of 2012 – Knowd

The Best Films You Never Want To See Again – Crowd Ignite

Go bombing side-by-side in the Sukhoi Su-34 (51 HQ Photos) – The Brigade

Jessica Alba’s Panty Flash of the Day – Drunken Stepfather

Selena Gomez With Her Booty Cheeks Haning Out – Celeb Jihad

Liz McClarnon | Cleavy & Upskirt at Atomic Kitten Concert in London – G-Celeb

Can You Guess How Old This Woman Is? (6 pics) – Linkiest 

A collection of fine booty for hump day – Bro My God

5 Cool Weapons Used In Sci-Fi Movies – Double Viking

She Rolled a 20…in Life – Unreality Mag

12 Pictures of the Clearly Bored – Uncoached

Annabella Bottali Is One Stacked And Sexy Brit – Regretful Morning

40 Pictures Of Classic Cars & Sexy Hunnies – Super Booyah

Erin Andrews @ 2013 Fox Sports Media Group Upfront After Party – Moe Jackson

The Ultimate Skateboarding Fails Comilation – World Wide Interweb

A Gallery of Bad Teen Fashion through the Decades – Ego TV

Clever Ads On Buildings (21 Pics) – Ned Hardy

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Hey, the South African version of COPS is pretty interes-HOLY SHIEET

Amazing new Concrete tent that can be erected fast

Howard Stern Interviews Mike Judge

A family video that will go down in history

Kick Boxing legend Ramon Dekkers passed away last month. This guy is the definition of badass

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